"We've been separated for a day and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman"

[librarian]

The first time after moving in together that Ms Weasel was away for the weekend I:

1.  Got red wine stains in the bed.

2.  Drank lots of red wine (these two points are connected in some crazy way)

3.  Put on my suit of armour (with some difficulty)

4.  Went to the off licence to buy more wine while wearing the above.

5. Said "Nice k(night)" to a passing couple.  I still think that crap pun redeems the whole sorry episode.

I still haven't got all the rust stains out of the bathroom mat though, and that was over a year ago.

"You're not allowed to go away again, I can't be trusted on my own" I told her on her return.