buy a group of lizards, release them into the house, claim that they've been there all along "you just hadn't noticed them before. I wanted to tell you, but you got on well with them so i thought it best to just leave the subject alone." then plant one of the lizards next to the broken pot. rush up to it all surprised after you both return from a relaxing walk in the zoo, shout at the lizard, and cry at how it was your favorite vase, from those favorite friends which gave it to you for your house warming all those happy years/days ago.all that should hide the real story nicely.
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Topic: my imminent demise