Author Topic: How can you not know that nobody is riding the fixie bikes anymore?!?

Bike Snob NYC writes:

It's lonely being the only real city in the United States…

[Too much to quote. Of relevance is a breakneck tour of some of the better known disappointing US cities.]

...Inevitably then, New York City must turn its sights eastward for kindred urban spirits, and it finally finds one in London.  Like New York City, London is a global capital.  Furthermore, London's history and culture is far richer than New York's.  That's why it's so profoundly disappointing to receive an email like this:

As your site focus on bicycles I thought this might be of your interest:
Here is a menswear lookbook video filmed in London to the "H&M for Brick Lane Bikes collection". Please share online on your blog/ twitter / facebook etc.

[Y]ou're London, one of the most important cities in the world!  How can you not know that nobody is riding the fixie bikes anymore?!?  It's over!  Finished!  Done!

It's not over till this lady sings. Coated in a preservative of black pudding and Marmite, she's still being kept on life support in the basement of Buckingham Palace, as alert as her bloodline allows but in no condition to do an encore at her consort's big round hall down the road.

Spotted by Oi! magazine

After a brief tussle between The National Trust and English Heritage, the premier curators of the country's proud stiff upper lipped past, fixie culture has been subsumed by the latter, possibly because they have a blue plaque factory* and aren't sharing.

A condition of English Heritage stewardship is that all fixie riders are required to register as listed, as they are now statutorily of historic interest. This means that they must report to the local planning authority before replacing spoke cards, aerospokes, top tube pad (if originally installed), extending handlebars, etc., to ensure any alterations do not negatively impact the character of their carriage. In addition, they will have to submit to visiting hours and regular dusting.

Fixie culture merits the white glove treatment because, as Bike Snob previously noted, East London has been proclaimed the birthplace of fixed gear.

The capital and only real city in the United Kingdom makes similar claim to critical mass (and indeed the nuclear chain reaction itself). Sealing its status in aspic, recall that London spectacularly hosted the recent Olympics, of which the trackstand competition was the signature event. Such fecundity merits the ultimate accolade: to be touched by royalty.**

* Suspended in 2013 due to lack of funding. Please give generously to the nearest fixie rider the next time he's busking at an intersection to pass along to English Heritage so that they may reanimate this worthy scheme.

** Now useless YouTube link retained in a mini-effort to shame the behemoth video platform.

Breaking: Agony Guy inspires Bike Snob NYC. Possibly.
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2013 »
Bike Snob NYC writes:

...the list omits several notable personages who also experienced moments of world-changing inspiration as a direct result of sticking a bicycle in their crotches, including:

Albert Einstein

(Came up with the theory of relativity while trackstanding)

Sadly, if Albert Einstein were still with us today, everybody would give him a bunch of crap for not wearing a helmet...

Doubtless BSNYC gets many many emails and tweets a day. It is therefore possible that he hasn't gotten to the timely communiques informing him of the existence of the above post with illustrative links; indeed of Agony Guy himself, happy to toil in obscurity, sending out waves of silent influence.

It is also possible that great minds rhyme and connect across the ether at moments of inspiration.