Richmond Park White Van man

[librarian]

The park has cyclists of various types, which can be categorised in a hierachy thus:
1.   Lone rangers – magnificent moody long limbed elite athletes on time trial bikes doing ‘training’ before their next assault on ‘the title’ . These are the lords of the park and command the respect of all.
2.   The Bunch -  of London Dynamo who have been grunting round for all eternity on spesh carbon.  The one on the front wears a scowl and the one on the back a sweaty despairing grimace.  They stop for no-one.
3.   The Old Timer – in baggy blue top and woolly legs – on a classic old school frame with a saddle bag who is preparing for the audax season.  Steady he goes in solitary silence. His wife left him 10 years ago.
4.   Hardbody girls – sporting national team lycra but not quite up the speed of the Dynamo bunch – they form a separate unit.
5.   Fatboy – on a top end MTB – making heavy work on the uphill in low gear. He hadn’t banked on sweating so much when he decided to get fit.
6.   Fatboy – on a top end roadbike – how does something so fragile not crumple? In his mind he is pacing himself, and remembering how he used to be a racer. 
7.   Basket Lady – just going across the park – not actually a cyclist.
8.   Hybrid Family  Man – snatching an hour away from the wife and toddlers for ‘a ride’.  He drove to the park with the bike on the roof and can’t see what all the fuss about cycling is.  Looking forward to his roast dinner.
9.   The Family – often Hybrid Man’s – with lady Hybrid – pullalong and flag and Barbie Girl bike in the middle. Nobody has actually seen them riding – they are always stopped at the side or crossing at a junction.  Mostly they are scowling at everyone else who they think is trying to kill their babies.
10.   Brompton Bloke – He thinks he is on a bike but unfortunately he is labouring under an illusion. He is on a shopper-bike. This is  embarrassing for cyclists when ridden on laps in the park.
11.   Eccentric on recumbent.  Convinced recumbents are really fast despite all the evidence – clearly not normal – best not acknowledged in case of madness.


This is the road riding species. Another species entirely inhabits the ‘Bike Trail’