Time to let you all know

[fiona]

The time has come to let all the acf users know about what occurs behind the scenes at acf towers.

First of all, let us consider the Private Message system, PM.

It's not private in the least. It is routinely read by more than the intended recipients. Think very carefully indeed about the contents of future PMs, and consider just what is known from your earlier PMs. Private? Not at all. How do we know this? It's pretty simple - following a request, we tested it. And confirmed it. Many, many times.

This board is not a cycling forum; it's a personal toy. Users are controlled by the owner, and despite protestations of free-speech etc, it is only available to a select few people, not to the bulk of the members.

Of course, Sam Walker (oh yes, not his real name, but that's not really a secret) will deny all of this. As the saying goes, 'but then he would, wouldn't he?'

And Sam... please don't bother deleting this - we have 47 other accounts to use... And with admin rights can create them as often as we wish. We would rather have your members truly aware of how you work.

Take care.

[sam]

The time has come to let all the acf users know about what occurs when somebody with a very large axe to grind falls from the top floor of acf towers.

They fall a very long way. So long, that they have a lot of time to think on the way down. Who knows what thoughts race through their head. Surely blackest revenge must figure prominently.

Yes, fiona, let us consider the Personal Message system.

Most types of forum software come with the ability of administrators (never mind megalomaniacal hackers) to read PMs. Interestingly enough, Simple Machines isn't one of them. Feel free to click on the link at the bottom of the page, visit their site, and have a look. Given your astonishing skillset, operating a search button should be child's play.

The suggestion that acf is not a cycling forum is unique. I will not bother refuting it, as people need only start reading to confirm for themselves that cycling is rather high on the agenda.

acf is not a personal toy, though disgruntled former users often seemed to think it was one of theirs.

Curious that anybody would poke me with a stick because I legally changed my name a few years ago. You can do it, too, quite easily by deed poll or statutory declaration, though I believe 'Screaming Lord Sutch' has already been taken. Contact me if you require assistance; I know a few good lawyers.

As it happens I am one of the very few administrators, not to mention users, whose name and biographical info is on full public display. For stalking purposes, note than I've since had a haircut.

Frankly I don't know if you have 47 other accounts. I wouldn't be surprised, given your apparent psychological problems, that you require such an extensive back room of voices in your head to offer moral support. As for admin rights, that's a pretty scary thought. If you truly have them I expect you'll be deleting my account quite soon. Given the speed at which you are racing up the learning curve - spamming being one of the higher arts - you should be the dark overlord of the world wide web by sundown tonight.



Finally, let us examine Theodore's Wooden Nickel. To quote the poet D.H. Rumsfeld,

The Unknown
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

I could publicly speculate as to your former identity here, fiona, but I don't dabble in the black arts of libel. If you weren't a troll before, you are now. Thus your plush new accommodation in the Hotel. There are other institutions which might better cater to your needs. Of course I could be wrong. You might be somebody new, waving your axe wildly from across another rooftop. These are known unknowns.

You haven't hit bottom yet. Take care.

[redsonja]

But there are a few problems with this analysis.

I'm not a troll, far from it.

I'm not a former user. I (and the other 47 users who are pissed off with your attitude and have discussed this privately - think on) am very much a current user, a veritable backbone of acf it has been said, with a vast post-count over the last couple of years.

Think very carefully about what you are doing to this community. Looks like you aren't interested in keeping the place alive.

You haven't hit bottom yet, but you are damned close. Take care.

[sam]

Are you still stuck at 47? Does that number have a mystical significance?

Let me get this straight. You're not a former user, but are part of collective "backbone" whose postcount is apparently enough to make me tremble in awe (such counts of course being so important at acf). The work of your secret society is so vital that your communications are entrusted to a spokesperson who must only speak through a cloak of anonymity, the nice cloak with the pointy hood and the propeller on top being at the dry cleaners.

You ask that I think very carefully about what I am doing to this community. Aside from making it happen, I don't know the answer to that. It's spring all year round and life continues to bloom.

Rather than waste time here, you and the group of 47 should set up your own forum. Perhaps the sun god Ra will favour your undertakings. You can hook up with the illuminati and start a webring. I'll even make a donation.


click here to see that eye in detail


on edit
Credit where it's due: the forum later fell apart, and I did indeed fall a long way in some people's estimation. There was a deeply unpleasant faction burrowed into acf which broke out with the introduction of YACF, where I assume fiona, redsonja, and the rest of the 'backbone' are now happily festering. Can I just say here, Ick?