Author Topic: So Location, Location, Location is on tonight... (part one)

librarian

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I've just got completely fed up of all of these shows. And tonight they're in Scotland so we'll get plenty of...

'And of course with the Scottish system you never know how the Scottish system will treat your offer in the Scottish system which is obviously different and very much a Scottish system'

A look down the TV listings is really depressing.

7pm Location, Location, Location
Tonight on Location Kirsty and Phil help some rich knobs try to find a 300 acre farm in the Devon countryside and a London crashpad in K&C for 32pence. The pair find themselves helpless as the couple they are trying to help turn down properties for being too large, too small, too noisy, too quiet, too urban, too rural, too old, too new and too much like a f#$%ing house before buying a chalet in Switzerland for 5 squillion pounds.
 
8pm How Clean is Your House
Kim and Aggie tell another family that they should all be dead because their house is so dirty despite the fact that they're all thriving before cleaning up a large collection of animal hair, sick, food, and impart astounding cleaning tips such as wiping a kitchen counter makes it shiny and not keeping clothes in your bath means you can wash.
 
8.30pm Selling Houses
A family of muppets learn that to sell their house they shouldn't have it painted candy apple green on the outside, dark purple on the inside, and they should really remove the glitterball and squatter from the living room.
 
9pm Sarah Beaney's Many Pregnancies
Sarah Beaney shows a would-be developer exactly how to develop a house to make a massive profit to support the football team you are procreating. The would-be developer surprisingly spurns all advice and turns a flat into a 17 bedroomed family home they hope to sell for three million pounds. In Hull. Above a chip shop. Sarah Beaney looks smug to camera and bemoans people not taking her advice before disappearing off to the loo with the cameraman because she's not actually pregnant at that moment in time.
 
10pm Colin & Justin
The two prancing dandies fae the north die. Hopefully.