Author Topic: Cyclists that irritate


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Cyclists that irritate
« on: March 04, 2008 »
Encountered the most irritating cyclist in the wholewide world today.

Just by a T-Junction with two lanes before Colliers Wood. The left lane takes you left to Wimbledon. The right lane take you straight on to Colliers Wood.

There I am. Waiting at the Reds. On my three year old 2nd hand jobbie. Swimming shorts. And Tesco's waterproof viz jacket (£14.99 but keeps you warm if not dry). And the standard football socks over my £3.99 Tesco's cycling mittens (which are good except that the dye runs when wet).

There I am. Daydreaming about Friday night and how I'll pick up my usual bottle of red and four bottles of Young's Champion Ale on the way home before tucking into a Chicken Curry when...


This bloke with a big grin on his face comes hurtling round the side of the island and stops by me.

"I'M CYCLING TO WORK ON MY NEW BIKE!" He joviated like a thirteen-stone puppy who's just eaten a whole bag of sugar.


He had a new (shiny) black bike, black lycra, black hat.

I thought I better say something.

"Long way to go?"

"HOLBORN! IT'S TEN MILES! HOW ABOUT YOU?!" He exuberated. Balancing on two wheels.

"Blackfriars," I said. With one foot on the tarmac, the other on the pedal and my backside off the saddle as the bike is a tad too big for me.

"GREEEAAAAAAT! I LOVE IT!" He laughed before seeing a gap in the traffic and shooting off through the reds towards Colliers Wood.

I waited another minute or so until the amber came on.

Then stuck my backside in the air to get some speed up and followed.

I never saw him again.

Thank God.