Fakenger rejoice, there is now help for you ...

[librarian]

In my best fakenger kit (merino top, Rapha fixed 3/4 lengths, Condor Pista), commuting between East London and the centre of town, I was stopped by a similarly attired rider. He asked me where I got my bag from. Only when this happened, I didn't have my Timbuk2 messenger bag because I had managed to get everything I needed into my ageing Carradice Barley. Exactly the same thing happened later in the week with another brakeless fakenger.

So it looks like we have a new subculture to spot:

The fraudax. The urban fixed rider who, due to work and lifestyle commitments, can't actually do long Audax rides, but wants to look the part. Identifying characteristics include

• Rides a fixed bike with mudguards (but raceblades only).
• Sports a Carradice saddlebag, but has a suspiciously muscled left shoulder that is more normally used to carrying loads on their back
• If given a brevet card, their first reaction is to stick it between their spokes.
• Can be seen wearing lycra, and sometimes RainLegs but this just exposes the tell-tale tan line half way up their right calf.
• Can be overheard talking about PBP under the mistaken impression it stands for Paddington-Blackfriars-Piccadilly.