Author Topic: Hello Pearsons Numpty!

librarian

  • Guest
Hello Pearsons Numpty!
« on: January 11, 2007 »
Someone needs to write down 'the rules' at some point. They vary from person to person, however in my mind they are as follows:

1) People giving a cheery hello as they pass need to be chased down as they quite clearly meant it in an arrogant way.
2) People not saying hello are miserable people and so I demonstrate how to overtake with a cheery hello.

Depending on my perception of the person's attitude as they pass, I might additionally use any of the following techniques;
- Overtaking riding no handed so I can look down at them as I pass. Pulling out food and eating that as overtaking no-handed is better. I find that ice cream works best.
- Having a happy little chat with the bloke who is killing himself not to get overtaken is priceless!
-Overtake at about 1mph more than they are doing. Gradually build the speed up and up until they drop off. This is for their benefit - makes them stronger!

Disclaimer - I have not regularly  used all of these techniques!



The rules are very simple as far as I can see.

1.  People who overtake me with a cheery 'hello!' are showing off and ought to be shot.

2.  People who overtake me without saying anything are miserable gits and ought to be shot.

3.  People who overtake and then stop and chat at the lights are condescending w*nkers and ought to be shot.

4.  People who overtake and fail to stop and chat at the lights - see (2).

5.  People who overtake at enormous speed are clearly on drugs and ought to be shot.

6.  People who overtake gradually are just rubbing it in and ought to be shot.

7.  People who overtake and then let me ride their wheel may see another dawn.... as long as they don't then sprint off just as the headwind gets stronger, in which case... they ought to be shot.

I'll reformulate the rules when I move from the overtaken to the overtaking.  ;)