oh, for goodness sake! You provincials never tire of telling us what a terrible place London is - but you're always coming here on your coaches to gawp at Buckingham Palace and look at the Christmas lights. I've seen you - blinking at the illuminations in your anoraks and comfy shoes, holding on to each other for dear life, wondering if the person selling the newspapers on the street corner is that chap of East Enders (the voice is familiar). Trying to buy bus tickets from those machines on Oxford Street. Asking the way of somebody who lived in Katowice last week.And then you go back to your little thatched cottages and say 'well, I couldn't live there, it's so dirty, and the house prices - ridiculous'. Well, you'll be sorry when we work out how to teleport the entire city (minus the cab drivers) on to our own planet, where nobody stops at red lights and the Costa coffee comes out of a tap. You'll miss us.
Author
Topic: Why, oh why?