Look, mate, we can't help you. I don't even know you.Take a look out of your window. See that bloke in tweed kneeling down to "fix a puncture" across the street? He's been there for an hour. And why did he have to take his chain off and wrap it round his hand?See that innocent white-haired old lady at the postbox? Old lady nothing. Muscles of steel from years of hard-core cycle touring. And she uses a hat pin to hold that ratty old beret on for downhills.What's that noise at your back door?