Author Topic: Along came a spider


Along came a spider
« on: May 22, 2008 »
Or, further confessions of an arachnophobe.

Yes, I know they're good. This doesn't have anything to do with good. This has to do with blind unreasoning terror. Or at least an impulse which propels me backwards whenever we're introduced.

We met this morning, fortunately with a pane of window glass between us.

click to go wide and silhouettey

Spiders vist acf HQ all the time. Often they race across the living room carpet on suicide missions to take me down.

Arachnophobia leads to hydrophobia
Know your enemy
Out from the Web


Here's another picture of the spider above. It's blurry because I was in the process of fleeing* after being startled when it suddenly jerked into action, perhaps annoyed at being documented.

As my wife sensibly says, "What do you think they'll do with you once they 'take you down'?" Keep me on tap to feed their bloodthirsty brood, of course.

Last night there was another 'big one', as she put it, who made an appearance after I'd turned in. My alternate theory is they want to watch TV and are searching for the clicker.

In place of a glass and a piece of cardboard we have a spider catcher, a mini-vacuum cleaner which can serve as a teleportation device to the outside world where they grow fat on ramblers and big enough that they can't fit back through the door. It can also be used as a sabre in case they're too hefty to be beamed up.

* utilising the lightning fast reflexes which kept my ancestors alive during the Spiderassic era, when arachnids the size of Volkswagen Beetles roamed the earth


if you can't beat 'em, join 'em
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2009 »


next they'll be wanting soy milk
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2009 »