Dad

[sam]

Last night I called my dad in Ohio, which may as well be the moon, such is covid's hex on my ability to travel. My sister put the phone next to his ear on the hospice bed. He was out of it – has been for days – but she told me his lips started moving as if we were in conversation.

I meant to go for a ride afterwards to help me process my feelings, as that's one of the things my bike helps me do, but it was raining. Poetic as it would've been to take to the road in the middle of the night in a downpour, he would have approved of me staying warm and dry.

We weren't close. That won't stop his last words, whatever they were, from reverberating in my head for a while.



He died this morning.

[sam]

First my dad, then the queen, then Netflix recommends Meet Joe Black.

[sam]

I don't remember ever seeing my dad ride a bike, though there was an adult sized one in the garage when I was growing up, far too big for my mom. It was chrome, with a leopard skin pattern saddle. Not what I would've guessed was his style.

. . .

My mom asked if there was anything of his I wanted. The bike disappeared a long time ago, so that was out. I said maybe a hat - how many did he have? She said only about 50. That's 48 more than I have. I figured maybe I'd wear it around the house when I was thinking of him. Here it is:



Unfortunately it's too small, even with the adjustable strap. I have a lot more hair than he did.

I suppose you want to see the front.



If that's a little hard to read, it says 'Ohio State', which I assume refers to the university. He actually went to Kent State. He was there when this happened, though he wasn't an eyewitness:

Lots of hats.

[sam]

You know that scene where someone keeps calling the phone number of the deceased, just to hear their voicemail? And it finally shuts off because it's been disconnected? (This will ring a bell to Breaking Bad fans.) Well, that just happened to me, sort of.

My dad's subscription to the local paper has finally been cancelled, so I no longer have an "all access" pass to read the digital version. It's a pretty terrible rag, but still. I'll miss it.