Cycling + => Specialist Subjects => Topic started by: Chompsky on September 20, 2019

Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on September 20, 2019

Know then thyself, ( presume not God to scan
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,
A Being darkly wise, and rudely great

wrote Alexander Pope in heroic couplet a nearly incalculable number of generations before I was born, for as you can see, I am Leporidae, and our family crest is two rabbits getting it on, De duobus, multis. To know me is to love me, ( or so claim my housemates. Which is nice of them.

Deep self-reflection isn’t one of my recorded behaviours,


but researchers don’t really have a clue what I’m thinking about when I’m sitting in my favourite chair


staring at my other favourite chair.


Hint: I’m not pondering Chomsky’s theory of universal grammar (ug). Chances are I fancy a bite.

(Drone footage needs trimming or at least captions! - Ed.)

If you had a digestive system like mine, you'd be peckish most of the time, too.

Speaking of language, I do have one, and it’s not Lapine, Watership Down being a work of fiction thank Frith, as that's some dark reading. ( Mostly we're talking body language, with my ears doing the heavy lifting. I also mm-mm-mm. This has been translated variously as “Here I am!”, “I’m happy!”, “Feed me again!” and “What’s going on and why wasn’t I informed?”—or, as one of my favourite movie stars put it, “What’s up, Doc?”


They're all right answers, as far as they go. We rabbits have so much more on our minds, and await a Trekian universal translator for more than small talk. (

Title: Thinking outside the box
Post by: Chompsky on December 03, 2019

It turns out the drawer under the bed makes a fine digging box
Title: Chompsky Reviews
Post by: Chompsky on February 15, 2020
Title: 3 shorts
Post by: Chompsky on April 10, 2020

Title: Spoon giver apology
Post by: Chompsky on April 12, 2020
To the woodcarver who is making me this organic flatware:


Clever or worse
I now rehearse
my apology to thee
in vabbity rerse.


Thank you so much,
you’ve made this Dutch blush
when it arrives
I’ll look but not touch.


Wood I do nibble
it’s better than kibble
both are quite good
let us not quibble.

Thus ends my verse
neither verbose nor terse
please accept every word
- signed the innocently chompy ( woodcarver’s curse.


PS. To be or not to be
said the spoon (and the fork ( to me.
Title: Toothsome
Post by: Chompsky on April 23, 2020
An email arrived
for little old me
my work was cut out
in stanzas three:


Always a joy to hear my woodware work’s enjoyed
And - though toothsome to some clientele as well -
I’d rather they’d avoid consuming my stirrers
For as sure as your fur is
Black and brown and white

There’s plenty of wild, unwhittled cellulose out there to bite.

Thanks though for the anticipatory ode

Dear techy lagomorph.

Do do me a favour and write again -

When your feeder’s ridden down the road,

Paid the postage overdue on the parcel I’ve packed -

And tell me if, when the treen tumbles out, they slag ‘em orf.

In that pack I sent a nature’s harvest for you to choose chews
When worrying:

I market them as “Bio Anguish Sticks”.

Make sure when you clock your carrot-servers’ chat you hear
What they really say and the words they use!
And do, do tell how you like, or not, the taste of Northern wood.
I’m looking forward to your cogent views

Although I’m more a fan of Piaget than biolinguistics.


My nature, you see,
overwhelms my good manners;
but I’ve given my pledge
sworn on St. George’s banners.

The spoon has arrived! (
Or so I have heard.
“Bio Anguish Sticks” -
sounds delish, my word!

Of genetic epistemology
I haven't a clue.
My education stopped
at things I can chew.

Shall I compare thee toothsome unwhittled cellulose? I think not.
Title: Rounding up
Post by: Chompsky on May 03, 2020
Are we not all "rounding errors (" in the great scheme of things?

Title: Shot of love
Post by: Chompsky on May 07, 2020
As the world waits, quite possibly in vain, for a vaccine for you-know-what, vet pharma comes through ( with a new cocktail to combat the usual nasties for us:

MSD Animal Health has launched Nobivac(r) Myxo-RHD Plus, the first single shot vaccine against the three main infectious diseases in rabbits - Myxomatosis, Rabbit Haemorrhagic Disease (RHD) classic and variant strains (RHDV-1 and 2).

Previously this has required two shots, at least two weeks apart, when one visit to the surgery is plenty stressful as it is. I need to stay healthy for the peaceful overthrow.

Doctor doctor, give me the news
I got a bad case of mm-mm-mm (

Title: Schedule
Post by: Chompsky on June 01, 2020
4.30 a.m.
Present myself wide awake if somebody goes to the toilet and doesn’t get back to the bedroom fast enough. Otherwise, hang out behind the couch until the hunger pangs hit, when I head to the hay. Btw, that they shut themselves in the bedroom is a neat reversal of the early days, when I was kept in a pen at night.

Wonder what took you people so long. Inhale my daily ration of 5g of nuggets. In an hour or so, have my first bowl of greens after willing it to appear from the windowsill nearest the kitchen (correlationcausation), where I’m expressly forbidden.

“It’s dangerous in there,” they say; they forget that danger is my middle name. I’d like to see either of them leaping several times their height onto places they only assess the safety of as they land.

After a morning of chomping alternating with brief periods of lying there looking a bit worn out from it all,


retire to the pull-out drawer underneath the bed.

Up for another breakfast, then relax near the big glass doors in the living room, one of my favourite spots despite the terrifying birds which patrol the skies.

Dinner, which is a convention used by them as it’s about when they start making theirs; this is when I have my second bowl of greens for the day.

Eat, of course, which requires many many trips to the trough. Play: chew approved objects like tissue boxes and have a go at unapproved ones like drapes; maybe do a bunny 500. Explore and chin using my handy scent gland. This constant mapping is necessary to signpost escape routes for use as and when a strange sight [one of them carrying a box might do it] or sound [often the boiler] activates my flight impulse.

Retire behind the couch to await developments.
Title: Dutch treat
Post by: Chompsky on July 17, 2020

My fellow housemates were delighted when the mailman dropped this off:


Being a dual citizen (triple if you count Dutch) has its advantages. Nice of the money printing machine across the pond to send some my way, though the economic impact isn’t going to be rippling back.

Most of my newfound wealth is earmarked for the basics, like this recycled litter.


Personally, all I want is the bag. How do you like my tissue box porch?


Should I give some to charity? MONKEY SHELTER seems like a good cause.


It's only fair to chip in for my board.

take two

Got myself a new ”Boredom Breaker”. ( Who’s bored? I’ve always got things going on. Here’s my current hole to China New Zealand. (


On a recent inspection I discovered that this charger was getting old, so I surprised them with a replacement. £30 seems a bit steep, but it would be churlish to suggest James profiteered his way to being a billionaire.


Another gift. Happy to share.



Title: That's entertainment
Post by: Chompsky on July 26, 2020

I feel a certain kinship.

An inspiration to those of us with paws.
Title: Sound effects
Post by: Chompsky on July 31, 2020
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on August 01, 2020
Roll it on home, what's the problem?

Title: Good manners
Post by: Chompsky on August 01, 2020
What we owe a rabbit: ( the self-control not to interrupt a thread about pets with a carnivorous stomach growl. It's not a problem here, as we operate well under the radar of the uncouth, but it happens all the time on antisocial media.
Title: Being and somethingness
Post by: Chompsky on August 02, 2020

Title: Birthday treat
Post by: Chompsky on October 04, 2020
Title: You've been warned
Post by: Chompsky on November 17, 2020

Title: Through the looking glass
Post by: Chompsky on November 22, 2020

Squirrels can be such show-offs. (
Title: Hear ye
Post by: Chompsky on December 07, 2020
It's Noam's birthday. A date that will live in infamy, to his critics.

Title: Joy to the world
Post by: Chompsky on December 22, 2020
I have set out my stall as an advice columnist. The first offering from the mailbag was very tasty:


Muncher, just say no. I would suggest you have a hard look at your bunny’s diet and introduce gradual changes. Personally the only thing I would allow on your list is dill, a limited amount of peppers, and carrot tops. Bugs bunny has a lot to answer for.

Very small portions of fruit may be OK for treats, but as you have discovered, it's difficult to ration once we get a taste for it.

Brother can you spare a blueberry

There are lots of resources out there, and not all of them agree on every particular with each other (or with me). This is a good one. (

Hay, greens, ( and maybe some nuggets. That’s all we really need.

Playing dumb for the camera for a good cause

The pickier you are on our behalf, the longer we’ll be around to bring you joy.
Title: We meet again
Post by: Chompsky on February 09, 2021

Title: Hail the kale
Post by: Chompsky on February 09, 2021

Valentine's Day is coming up. This is one way to a bunny's heart.
Title: Life is buffering
Post by: Chompsky on February 10, 2021

It is true that my housemates, on first espying me in the garden centre,


were so impressed by my unflappability that I was nicknamed “The Zen Master”. To err is human.

A rabbit's days and nights are full of waiting: for food, to play, for someone to notice me down in my little world when they're busy in their big one. I am not zen by choice.

Life has been my teacher – as it will be yours.
Title: My funny valentine
Post by: Housemate on February 14, 2021

Let my love open the door (

Of course you can come in. We keep some doors closed to keep you safe: it's called being cruel to be kind. Cruel because you're such a curious creature in all senses of the word. Kind because the kitchen, for example, is no place for a little scamp. There's too much that can go horribly wrong.

The door in the video, clearly bearing marks of earlier frustrations, is is normally always open. It leads from the hallway to the home office. This is where we all spend most of our time, the two of us at desks, you either in your tray eating or outside of your tray keeping an eye on it.

When you came into our lives you opened a door we never thought existed. Though we both had long ago pets, never before have we been so smitten. Our love for you is vastly disproportionate to your 2kg. You have bent us into shape around you, and I'm not only talking about how often we spend stooped over when we're not already on the floor.

Daily you make us laugh. Very occasionally you strike fear ( into our hearts. One day you will... I can't even type it. This is a celebration of life, and how every little soul must shine. (

You are the exception to our atheism. Our three souls are permanently intertwined.

Just thought you should know.

Title: Hazard pay
Post by: Chompsky on February 16, 2021
Wondering if he's about to lose that hand

The definition of unceremonious

What fresh hell is this?

The bunnicure begins


Remind me again why this is necessary

Extra security to foil the great escape

I haven't suffered enough indignity – you have to weigh me too?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 20, 2021
Guest post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit
Famous Sk8boarders Ov All Time

Now befor you ask I kno that Sk8boarders is not a propper word but it is easier ter spell innit.

Sk8boardin is a difficult fing fer peeps but it is not as ard fer a rab becos we av a low centre ov gravity. Sum peeps fink that sk8boardin was invented by surfers in the Cally in the time ov Rock n Roll but this is a modern myff. Sk8boarders sumtimes av funny air. There are fousands ov sk8boarders now an we ope you will av manny appy hours wotchin em an praps even go fer it yerself.

1. Giovanni's rabbit

Sk8boardin was invented by a rocket powered rabbit who wos immortalised by the Renaissance artis Giovanni ov the Fountain. Unfruitunately we do not kno the actcherall name ov the rabbit becos it wos not given the credit it wos due. This sk8board ad no steerin in its trucks but becos it wos powered by rocket farts it wos gnarly.

2. Hitler

Annuver fing yer mite not kno is that Hitler had a sk8board. He as bin pictchered on the U-tube pushin little peeps down a slide wiv it but becos that sk8board ad no steerin eiver it wos crap. Praps he should av stuck ter the paintin.

3. Leticia Buffoni

This is a gnarly sk8boarder who is famous fer not skatin in high heels but becos ov advertisements most peeps fink she did, which shows how much progress we av made.

4. Jerry Hsu

This sk8boarder is famous fer his double ender in Enjoi's 'Bag ov Suck'  wot is a video innit. These days a lot ov sk8boarders do gnarly stuff wot is also very technickle but becos lots ov em do it they are not as famous.

5. Sue Hazel

This is an early Inglish verttickle sk8boarder who was named after the second most famous rabbit ov all time which wos Hazel of Watership Down. The most famous rabbit is Bugs Bunny but then he wos not allowed ter av a sk8board which is history's loss.

6. Jeremy

This wos a mate ov my research assistant in Souf East London when she wos little who put the Beano annual on a Jacko skate an bombed a big hill an broke is leg. When she went back ter av annuvver look the hill didn't look big but she still won't let me ear the end ov it so I av put it in ere fer posteriority.

Safety warnin - when yer try too ard not ter fall off it don't work like that. Yer mite feel like a helmet an yer can even put foam down yer trousers.

Title: Spring fever
Post by: Chompsky on March 21, 2021
Yo Humbug – I have questions!

How can I bunny hop ( when I can’t hold on to the board? It seems like a move invented by a human.

Which do you think is more difficult, skating or surfing?

Would it be wrong to buy tickets to this show? They know the risks. (


Most people watched this video ( and said Awwww, but shouldn't it have been a teachable moment? After all, if you help a bunny out of a jam, he's free for a day, but if you put him on a skateboard, he'll never be in that jam again.


Finally, welcome to spring. TMI alert: I tend to get a little cavalier with my litter training this time of the year – I just can't help myself! If you keep it under control, how do you manage? I'm thinking biofeedback might be an option.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 21, 2021
Allo Chompers me old mate!

Fanks fer invitin me ter this forum - my P.A. finks it is very interestin too an she as even dug out sum old bike fings. She did a lot ov cyclerin befor she got back inter the wheely boards but now she as a dorky bike.

Yer questions are very innerestin, an I will do em one by one.

How can I bunny hop ( when I can’t hold on to the board? It seems like a move invented by a human.

I do not do the bunny hops wiv the board. I do the body varials an the flyin leaps on ter the board. Humans like ter invent complicatered stuff like that but anyfing like a grab is not my bag really.

Which do you think is more difficult, skating or surfing?

I ain't never dun any surfin, but I fink surfin is deffo more difficult becos ov the big water. Hazel-rah's mates could do the surfin but only on the inland waterways innit.

Would it be wrong to buy tickets to this show? They know the risks. (


I am not scared ov big bangs or ov the art world, but my research assistant as bin tryin ter get me travel insurance ter get ter Italy fer ages now wivout much joy. Yer av ter fink about the risk ov needin a vet in the middle ov a road trip an all.

Most people watched this video ( and said Awwww, but shouldn't it have been a teachable moment? After all, if you help a bunny out of a jam, he's free for a day, but if you put him on a skateboard, he'll never be in that jam again.

That video shows that the rab in question wos innerested in the board innit! Praps the rab'll come back after finkin about it a bit. It is probly better ter start wiv a roll on the flatground.

Finally, welcome to spring. TMI alert: I tend to get a little cavalier with my litter training this time of the year – I just can't help myself! If you keep it under control, how do you manage? I'm thinking biofeedback might be an option.

The one time I peed on my research assistant she larfed er ead off an I ain't doin that again in a hurry.  I don't always do the pooin in me tray but she as a way of askin wiv tones an rhyvvems in er voice an also she will stick me in a basket fer a bit if she finds me spreadin it about all over - I dunno if that is bio-feedback or wot. I can actcherly do the business in the toilet wiv a basket in it but I av ter be incentervised fer that. Anyhow I mite deal wiv that subjec annuvver time.

I see you av already bin down Souf Bank which is nice. I ope yer don't mind me askin but where did yer get that deck? It as got no concave, if yer kno wot I mean.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: R.B. on March 23, 2021
Dear Humbug,

Your ideas interest me very much. Would you consider writing about about cycling too? I would like to read your views on more sustainable transport for the 21st century from a low-centre-of-gravity perspective.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 23, 2021
Well Richard - it is Richard innit?

I am very appy that you av come back from the dead ter talk about this subjec but I will not presume ter  write about cyclerin as I am not an eggspert.

Owever it as made me fink about all kinds ov stuff an I fink I mite be writin annuvver blog very soon.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Cookie Bunny on March 23, 2021
Whassup Humbug!

Deffo Bugs B is #1 awesome but who is that Hazel character?

Surely the Easter Bunny is #2? Kids love choccy eggs and all that jazz!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 23, 2021
Hmm, C.B. fank you fer this question. It as lots ov innerestin implercations.

Ar we gonna include miffical rabbits in the historical cannon? Praps we could make a case fer Brer Rabbit an there are also lots ov uvver rabbits from Eastern an Native American traditions. Owever most ov these rabbits av not got much documentative evidence fer
their adventures, owever powerbolical they mite be. Bugs Bunny can speak fer imself.

As a big fan ov Sesame Street wot teaches yer ter count an ter spell an fings about anfropology I am skeptical ov the Easter Bunny becos the business ov Easter is not sumfing that most rabs fink ov as a benerfit ter socierty. It is a mixture ov religious stuff an witchy stuff an that kind ov craptrap makes peeps do stupid fings.

Richard Adams wrote the story ov Hazel ov Watership Down wiv help from the documentative work ov R. M. Loxley about the private life ov rabbits an all the maps are good an all. Even tho he made up names fer sum peeps in discretions I fink we can see it is a trewfful work.

Incerdentally I notice that yer pictcher is not an actcheral photergraph but it looks like a hippy-dippy artis reconstruction. My research assistant says I av ter be very careful on the internet in case ov flamin trolls.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on March 24, 2021
I ope yer don't mind me askin but where did yer get that deck?

Picked up ( used, at a price that can’t be beat. Its chief attraction was something to do with being a transparent PNG, which apparently makes photoshopping a whole lot easier.

It as got no concave, if yer kno wot I mean.

Not sure. My ears catch everything but it doesn't always get interpreted right. I will say that being only little, I wouldn't have made much of an impression on the board.


Surely the Easter Bunny is #2? Kids love choccy eggs and all that jazz!

And cookies, which thankfully aren’t only the preserve of kids.

Includes bubbles – concave & convex in one tidy package.

I fink we can see it [Watership Down] is a trewfful work.

It inspired true love. ( I wonder how many pictures of reader's rabbits Richard was in receipt of.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 24, 2021
Hi again Chompsky!

I am quite big fer a rab, but a lightweight when it comes ter wheely boards, an it is rarver difficult ter find the best shape an size ov deck. My research assistant says the concave deck is a good fing fer peeps becos ov flippin an spinnin wiv yer foot an also fer flex an pop. Ping is a bit diffrent I fink. Wot I like about the concave is that yer can hop onter the board wiv more confidence.

That is a very innerestin pictcher ov the concave ov the ears. I fink it shows that ears wot bend the wrong way are deffo bad an I am a bit worried becos I av got loppy lugs, but I will av ter live wiv it.

Praps after the lockdown I will be able ter go an see Watership Down fer meself but it is far away. A rab can dream!  Unfruitunately I fink Richard Adams went off on one a bit an started writin about weird fings like bears an dogs but that is a very good story ov the luvverly peeps an all, an I ope they live ever so appily after.

An Apolergy

I would like ter research the subjec ov cookies a bit more but they av bin blocked fer the sake ov me innerds. I fink I mite av bin a bit terse wiv the Cookie Bunny becos ov this. I fink I ad better post annuvver pictcher ov me ter show good faiff now I av seen is credentials.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 24, 2021

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on March 25, 2021
These are a few of my favourite things:
peppers and slippers and sweet meadow hay
kale and curtains and napping all day
the world wide web & surprises it brings –
which is to say,
I have more questions, if that’s OK?

Is south east London a state of mind, like New York? (

Where do you stand on nominative determinism?

“When you’re in a hole stop digging.” Can you think of any other phrases a rabbit clearly didn’t come up with?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 25, 2021
Well Chompsky,

That's Billy Joel innit?
The U-tube's playin up again.

Souf-East London is not like a state it is like an eclectic mish-mash. It as high falutin bits an dodgy bits an quite green bits an all sorts ov inspirin fings but it can also be a bit ov a downer.

Where do you stand on nominative determinism?

Becos my name as got a double meanin - I can be naughty or nice if yer kno wot I mean - I fink about this kind ov stuff when I can be bovvered, but there are more important fings. I fink yer need a good inviroment ter nourish yer ideas.

Funnily enuff I av been writin a coupla pomes on the subjec of nommin an its aftermaffs, but I av not written about peein yet.


Sun shines and rain falls
grass grows high so peeps make hay
as everybun chews


Poo follows rations
digestion's healthy round response
feeds the next harvest

I fink 'Good manners cost nuffing' is not a pro-active bun's motto, actcherly that should've bin 'nanners'. I read sumwhere 'eat soft hay an chew on a big stick' wot is a bit more like it.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on April 02, 2021
I fink yer need a good inviroment ter nourish yer ideas.

So true! I welcome you. And haiku.

Please forgive the delay in my reply – I am easily distracted. Though not by what’s happening outside, as breakfast is about to be served.


Woolly clouds so close
the meadow the sky below
free floating hunger


Empty bowl filled me
good green food to become me
what magic is this
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 02, 2021
Wotcha Chompsky!

Good ter see yer again. You av really got a nice point ov view there.

The translucence ov yer ears is quite sumfing too.

I sumtimes wish my inviroment wos more pastoral - We av got squirrels an nice birds an a tree but I wouldn't mind sum sheeps outside me winders. I av bin finkin about open space a lot - as well as food ov course - an feelin fings get on top ov yer a bit in the urban way ov livin. Wiv a bit ov luck I will be able ter get out more now spring is sprung.

In the meantime I can write about the way nuffing is empty in my particuler neck ov the woods.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 02, 2021
Guest post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit
The Beginner Bun's Guide ter Tidyin Up (yer stuff)

First ov all I will say that it is not a good idea ter tidy up stuff wot is not yer own fings unless it is rubbish. The problem is peeps cannot agree amongst emselves wot is rubbish an wot is in fac good stuff. This is a matter ov hopinion innit. Therefore I am goin ter tackle the complicatered subjec ov dealin wiv all this stuff. I am writin from the perpectiv ov an involved creatcher ere becos tho I do not actcherly need much stuff, on the uvver and I get sum fings I rarver like.

This is a long post becos there is a lot ov it about innit.

1. Stuff in the street

Lots ov peeps fink it is natcheral to drop stuff in the street. Yer can pick up this stuff an take it away or throw it in the bin as a social servis if yer want. Sum ov this stuff is disgustin. Yer can also call the Council ter pick up this sort ov stuff but it is probly quicker ter do it yerself.

2. Stuff in peeps gardens

It may be very temptin ter pick up this stuff but wot yer sposed ter do is knock on the door an say, 'Please can I av this stuff?' The uvver peep will eiver say, 'Yes, please elp yerself ter this old rubbish an welcome.' or 'Sod off' or sumfing, unless they av gone out. When yer come back fer the stuff it as already bin nicked.

3. Stuff on yer boat

I do not necerscelery mean yer 'boat race' wot is yer fissog in the slang ov Olde London Towne. It mite be stuff fer yer actcheral boat wot is parked in a boatyard, but eiver way it is toterly out ov order ter tidy up this type ov stuff wivout the propper permission. In the case ov yer fissog yer peep should give yer a right nice grattino an be very gentle ter boot. In the uvver case yer peep will swear blue murder an av a fit.

4. Stuff in a skip

Also known as 'recyclin'. Strickly speakin yer not sposed ter pick up this stuff but actcherly everybun wiv alf a brain will fink 'fank yer very much an go on yer way wiv my blessin an wot kind ov an idiot are yer anyway?'

5. Interlectcheral stuff

This is a speshial kind ov stuff wot is not like a solid fing but is an abstrac creation ov the brain. It is confusin becos books are like solid fings but believe it or not they also av this kind ov stuff. Obversly the internet is full ov this stuff but sum ov it is crap an sum ov it is valerbal stuff. Fink ov this like a magical mistery garden - the quicker yer pick up the stuff the more ov it there will be.

6. Too much stuff

I am talkin actcheral solid crap ere. We av crap wot is broken, stuff from packin up uvver stuff an sum ov it is even floatin about all over the shop. This is not like abstrac stuff. If yer pick up this stuff the less ov it there will be.

7. My stuff

I am actcherly a minimalist an not a big collecter ov stuff, unlike my research assistant. We av come ter an unnerstanding on the issue ov stuff owever an this means that if she messes wiv my stuff I will do as I av bin done by.

8. Dog stuff

It would not be propper ter leave this subjec wivout talkin about the dog sitcheration. There are actcherly peeps who scoop up the doggie do an put it in a placky bag an then chuck the bag ov poo in a bush. My advice is don't av a dog.

The inviroment is annuvver complex area ov debate becos diffrent places av diffrent standards which means yer can offset yer carbon footprint, but I ain't got a carbon footprint except when I av ter go ter the vet.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: R.B. on April 03, 2021
Dear Humbug,

I'm enjoying your immediate and direct angle on life. As you hum along I fully (if precariously) experience the hay, the fun-times, the moods, the teases. You're alive!

Cyclists and rabbits share a gripe faced with untrained dogs and their ignorant owners. I can appreciate the thoughts of an ecologically aware vegan companion animal like you, and I empathise, but it's not the dogs' fault when these things happen. Yes, perhaps there are too many dogs in the city but I think it's the cars we need to eliminate as a priority.

I guess that your assistant has plans to make all kinds of gadgets from other people's junk. I can vouch for the benefits of such labours of love - it's a fine way to get a bike on a budget with some basic skills. Do you know what she has in mind? I imagine it would be a challenge to get to the vet by skateboard, and wonder if you've tried any other green alternatives? A customised bike trailer maybe?
Title: Hoot given*
Post by: Chompsky on April 03, 2021
Hi there R.B. It’s nice to see the joint hoppin’.

5. Interlectcheral stuff
This is a speshial kind ov stuff wot is not like a solid fing but is an abstrac creation ov the brain. It is confusin becos books are like solid fings but believe it or not they also av this kind ov stuff. Obversly the internet is full ov this stuff but sum ov it is crap an sum ov it is valerbal stuff. Fink ov this like a magical mistery garden - the quicker yer pick up the stuff the more ov it there will be.

This recent picture of a trip to the tip comes to mind. Every few months they bring home a new bale of hay. Only a fraction of it passes inspection. The rest, well...


An American commercial from what to me are prehistoric times has come to my attention. It’s a little hard to watch, because I have an instinctive fear of owls and people who dress as owls. It doesn’t help that over there a bird isn’t slang for a woman, so viewed here, its value as a public service announcement is somewhat compromised for those with a dirty mind.

*Sounds like a conclave of Scandinavian folk
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 03, 2021
Allo R.B! Allo Chompsky! This is nice. Av you two met before?

Cor blimey I dunno wot ter answer first now so I'll av ter mix it up a bit.

Actcherly I don't like cars, but I like em better than dogs. I fink I wos very restrained on the subjec really, considerin. Owls is a bit ov a mistery fer the urban rab but I fink I av found one that looks nice, an I will get a video ov it in a minute ter see wot you fink. I do like a bicycle in the hall actcherly, becos ter get underneaf it like a hidey-hole gives me sum privacy. Owever I fink a bike trailer fer a rab is not gonna work in London becos ov A) fumes B) bumps C) drivers an D) lack ov eye contact wiv the cyclerist. Anyway, movin on...

Fer local transport I av got a bunny buggy, wot is a bit crap really, but the main problem is yer average vet wot knos sod-all about the lagomorphic metabolokism. We av stopped goin ter the local vet an we av ter go ter the nice vet wot is far away. Now I will get on me obby orse -

The best way ter improve the inviroment is clearly rabbitual educashun fer the vets. Then more peeps can av rabs instead ov dogs an we can av more veganism an less drivin.

More better hay is number two on me ecological list! We are gettin hay off the internet now, so I spose I av got a carbon footprint really - my bad. It is organic Timoffy hay an well nice so I don't wanna eat any uvver hay. Uvver hay may look green an tasty but this stalky hay is the real good stuff. I fink it is a similar fing fer peeps when they buy veg an it all looks pretty in the shop but it is grown wiv the underlyin chemicals.

Thats enuff ov me pontifercatin innit. Now let's av a nice video ov the herbidaceous Sage. I fink it is an innocent tale wiv no double entenders but I must warn yer it as a dog in it an it is riddled wiv dodgy histeriorical anachronisms.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on April 06, 2021
Av you two met before?


We av stopped goin ter the local vet an we av ter go ter the nice vet wot is far away.

My GP isn't too bad, but I wouldn't call him 100% rabbit savvy. Could you PM me with details about yours?

I do like a bicycle in the hall actcherly, becos ter get underneaf it like a hidey-hole gives me sum privacy.

There’s a bike in our warren, too. It’s kept out of reach, my reassurance that I’m not interested in sampling the tyres having fallen on deaf ears.


Thanks for introducing me to our stop motion vegetal cousins. I've always wondered what they have on their minds. (
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 07, 2021

Now we av the low-down ov R.B. an ov yer out-ov-bounds bike Chompsky I av got the research assistant ter take a photergraph ov her bikes an all. In the front we av a dorky bike an in the back we av the good bike wot never gets ter go out these days. Apparently it as got very nice lugs, but this is not the same kind ov fing as my nice lugs... wotever. Wot is more important is that it as got two comfy mats underneaf it becos we av got gappy floors wiv the wind comin up em.


I am not goin ter chew anyfing on these bikes becos skate shoes is much better fer chewin innit.

I will let yer kno about my health practitioner in a minute!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on April 08, 2021
Do you leave all those books alone? They look so delicious!

Paging Humbug: your picture is missing. There were books when I logged in this morning. Bikes, too.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 08, 2021
I did not eat the books! Honest! Well actcherly I mite av chewed a bit ov Spike Milligan. I try digestin readin matter when I av got a bit ov a gripe.

Anyway I fink the pictcher is back now but I won't be surprised if it doubles itself becos we av posted 2 links fer the price 1. Praps this disappearin lark is the hidden cost ov free the pictcher hostin.
Title: All the world's a bookshelf
Post by: Chompsky on April 10, 2021
"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine." – Spike

Edifying nonetheless
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 10, 2021
Eh Chompsky, I fink Spike liked rabs more than Shakespeare innit.

I see you av got sum Iain Sinclair. The P.A. as just started ter read 'Lights Out fer the Territory'. She almost didn't becos it starts off a bit wordylicious, but after a bit he stopped tryin so ard an it perks up. Familiar bits ov London - but nostalgia land now.

Title: mm-mm-Milligan
Post by: Housemate on April 11, 2021
That's his book London Orbital. Your mention of Lights Out fer the Territory prompted me to have a look in the loft, where it remains buried in overstock.


I don't know Milligan well, but I keep bumping into him. (


His poem is spot on: (
A baby rabbit
With eyes full of pus
This is the work
Of scientific us
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 12, 2021
Well Housemate ov Chompsky,

Ter be honest, 'Lights Out fer the Territory' does not seem ter be a grippin read on the level ov Dick Francis or Philip K. Dick on a good day. I like its wandrin fru various topics tho, an it does wot it says on the tin - the P.A. usuerly switches off pronto an she's away ter the land ov nod.

I av had me Myxi jab, an I do fink about the consequences ov science fer the world, not only fer rabs. Why on earth didn't peeps use humane meffods ov birf control like Prince Philip?

I av an experimental nature, an I actherly fink part ov the problem is scientists wot get stuck in a rut an arty peeps allergic ter science an that sort ov fing. It is hard fer a peep ter be a polymaff these days - Madmen n Specialists an all that, wot is yet annuver story. An don't get me started on the church! But it is word power wot as got me inspired today.

How can we even start ter be poets if langwich is a closed world?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 12, 2021
Guest post from
Humbug - the radical rabbit
The Beginner Bun's Guide Ter Phonics

Phonics is a word wot wos invented ter help peeps wiv learnin ter read. Yer not sposed ter pronounce it 'phone-ix'. It is actcherly pronounced 'phonnix'.

Phonics is like a buzz-word becos the word phonetic wos not considered short enuff as well as bein an adjerctive rarver than a collective noun. Now yer Castilliano, the langwich ov Don Quixote an friends, does av propper phonetic spellin but Inglish does not av so much ov it. If yer try an say every word like it is spelt it will drive yer round the bend an that is wot turns peeps inter heretics.

Ere are sum essential featchers ov the world ov phonics.

Trigger warnin - Teachers beware becos this article does not conform ter the National Curriculum. It also as a few italics an sum inverted commas innit.

1. Magic e

Magic e is nuffin ter do wiv psycherdelic medicines but it is still a bit weird. Magic e is wot appens when yer av a vowel in a word an then a consonant an then annuver vowel wot is usuerly e. Wot appens is that this magic fing makes the first vowel sound longer. Fink 'Say my Name' - but not my actcheral name, the word 'name'. Fer example, the word mate as a diffrent sound than the word mat. Also we av Pete an pet, bite an bit, hope an hop and cute and cut. The most weird fing is is that sumtimes it don't work like that an we av words like 'cursive' an 'phonetic'. I ope this is not too confusin.

2. Double consonants

Double consonants help us ter kno when words wot don't av magic e in em av a short vowel sound rarver than a long one, like propper an spellin. I like double consonants an fink we should av a lot more ov em.

3. Olde Inglish

Words wot come from Olde Inglish can av funny peculier letter patterns in em like 'ough' an 'igh'. The 'igh' is easier ter say becos it rhymes wiv 'ie' like in pie. The 'ough' is a toughie tho  wot oughter be pronounced wiv a bit more thought.

4. Latin

Words wiv latin roots are awright fer peeps in countries wiv the Holey Roman Empire in their past histories. Owever if you av ad Vikings an wotnot fings like "corruptissima republica, plurimae leges" are sumfing else.

5. The Schwer vowel <?>

Wikipedia tells us that the symbol <?> was used first by Johann Andreas Schmeller fer the reduced vowel at the end ov the German name Gabe, an I believe em. This is also known as the neutral vowel. This vowel is actcherly the most common vowel in the Inglish langwich becos enny vowel can sound like it but, uh-uh, it as not got a propper spellin. It is most famous fer the backin vocals in the rap genre ov musical poetry.

A diffrent style ov readin wos the 'key words' meffod advercated by Janet an John, but they wos discombobulated long ago becos ov the advances ov feminism. As yer can see, phonics is one ov them fings wot can cause trouble even tho it is sposed ter make fings better.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Cookie Bunny on April 13, 2021
Me want Cuhkigh!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 15, 2021
Well C.B.

Yer can give a rab a biscuit ter eat fer a day,
but teach em how ter cook an they can beat debts away.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on April 19, 2021
I like double consonants an fink we should av a lot more ov em.


I hadn't even heard of the rabbit rule (and will admit I didn't make it to the end of that video. They should've hired Digby and Lily.) Funnily enough it only applies to humans. Then there's this ( rabbit rule, which says

any significant term or concept which appears in the contention must also appear in one of the premises… The idea behind the rule is that you can't pull rabbits out of hats just by magic. If a rabbit appears above the hat, it must have been put in there previously. In argument mapping terms, nothing can magically appear in the contention; it must have been put in the premises first.

I'm more used to these governing principles, ( especially

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 20, 2021
Hay Chompsky!

Now this is very much my kind ov debate. I fink I am a bit ov a heavyweight when it comes ter rules an fings. I don't fink I have mentioned this before but I am actcherly bigger than the average cat an therefore I am not likely ter fit in the hat. Also if I wos ter get in sum massive fancy titfer it would be my decision ter do so an nuffing is goin ter put me there wivout my say so, an at least sum right tasty grub, innit.

Don't get me wrong - I am an egalitarian an all that, an these premises are managed inna symbiotic stylee. We actcherly scored around 50% on the 'Bunny Approved Governing Principles' wotsit - but I fink there are peeps around wot av this 'bunny-slave' complex innit, an even buy the t-shirts. I av got a bit more respec fer the P.A. than ter treat her like a total carpet. Anyhow there ain't no carpets, wot makes fings a lot easier on a basic level.

I wos innerested in the 'a', 'e', 'o' rabs - I fink they bear out my contention that the behaviour of 'e' in general is a bit various. Or praps they get bored after countin up ter two. Which sort ov leads inter me next topic, funnily enuff.

We can see that the Inglish langwich is bit peculier, but now let's spare a thought fer the structure ov thought itself, in particuler maffmatical thought, just in case yer thought it wos all a bit more straightforward.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 20, 2021
Guest post from
Humbug - the radical rabbit
The Bigger Bun's Guide Ter (Maffmatical) Logic

Now the problem wiv logic is a bit like the problem wiv stuff - a lot ov peeps argue about wot bits ov it are rarver good and wot is a load ov rubbish. An I am not talkin about peeps wot talk about important fings on the internet an get emotional becos they av strong beliefs innit. Even the most famous maffmaticians an philosophizers ov all time got in a tizz wiv the logic business.

This is why the P.A. gets a bit miffed when peeps tell her ter teach 'maffs facs' ter innocent little kiddies. If there is one fing that logic proves beyond reasonable doubt it is that maffs is more or less an invention ov the brain. She as bovvered me rotten ter produce a neat guide wiv a nice sense ov perspective ter help yer rise above the wickid world ov so-called facs, in no particuler order.

Dualism - or the eivver/or question

Now this is like a multiple choice test wiv a choice ov 2 answers.
This type ov question wos made famous by the ancient Greek geezer Aristotle. Yer mite fink it is very simple becos the answers are basically 'yes' or 'no'. But then yer mite fink 'yes, if...' or 'no, but...' or 'maybe?' or even 'that is a bleedin stupid question, yer twonk.' - if yer a bit ov a smarty-pants.


In the misterious discipline ov Zen Buddism ov the East, when yer ask an eivver/or type ov question, or actcherly most uvver sorts ov question, a Zen master will bonk yer on the head wiv a stick an go back down the pub.

Proof by contradiction

Since time immoral this type ov proof as bin a cornerstone ov logic, even if yer can't agree about anyfing else. Wot happens is yer fink up a hyperthetical sitcheration an say, 'if fing 1 is true, an fing 2 is true then it follows that fing 3 is also true.' etc. After a bit yer get ter fing Y wot turns out ter be the opposite ov fing Y-X an so it's back ter the pub.


All the hyperthetical fings ov logic are called axioms. The plan is that yer start wiv a few small axiom fings that look nice an simple an use em ter build a big theorem wot will win yer the Nobel Prize fer Genius. But yer mite actcherally induce a hernia becos yer iffy  meffod is shot full ov holes by a committee ov yer peers.


Once upon a time the Greek maffmatician Euclid had clever axioms ov geometry all about planes an lines and points, which wos nice. But there wos a rogue axiom ov parallel lines that wos independent ov all the uvver axioms an it mutated an flew off the plane an invented the hyperbolical universe.

Exceptions ter the rules

There wos this German geezer called Gottlieb Frege an his number one fing wos a book ter prove maffs is logical. Owever just as he wos almost done wiv provin all ov maffs is basically 100% logical Bertrand Russell wrote him a nice letter all about sets ov fings, an sets ov uvver sets, an lots ov uvver fings about wevver the set ov all the uvver sets is a member ov its own set, becos if it is then there would av ter be annuver set innit. So poor old Gottlieb had ter give up the sets an go ter speshial classes instead like the barber who cut everyone else's hair but messed up wiv his own barnet. Bertrand Russell wos a big fan ov logical classes, even tho he wos a Peer ov the Realm, so then he co-produced his version ov the Principia Maffmatica Volumes 1-3 wot is as good as it sounds.


This wos annuvver German bloke an he took logic ter extremes like a Zen master but wivout the mistery or the Buddhism, or even much maffmatics eivver really. He wos a mate ov Bertie Russell, but instead ov writin loads ov stuff about anyfing an everyfing he said not a lot about nuffing much.


Kurt Gödel wos yet annuvver Germanic blokey an his mitey strict contribution ter logic wos too much even fer the speshial classes becos he showed that if the ariffmetic ov maffs wos logical in the first place it would actcherly contradict itself in the next place.


'Garbage in garbage out' is the famous motto ov computer science. Wiv the Arterfishial Intelligence Revolution the computers got one up on this wisdom tho becos ov machine learnin by trial an error. This means yer modern souped up computer can ask itself a zillion questions in virtuerly no time at all. Yer can actcherly stick a load ov rubbish in it an Alexa will still tell yer where ter buy sum curtains.

So, never mind the logic, wot about common sense? This mite seem like a reasonable question. Owever, neivver logic nor computers can do anyfing wiv common sense becos they don't actcherly kno wot it is yet. If yer fink yer can offer a solution ter this fascinatin conundrum praps yer should take a deep breath an have a nice cup ov tea.
Title: leap of logic
Post by: Chompsky on April 22, 2021
Tentative nibbles upon the subject

In effect, Frege invented axiomatic predicate logic, in large part thanks to his invention of quantified variables, which eventually became ubiquitous in mathematics and logic, and which solved the problem of multiple generality. Previous logic had dealt with the logical constants and, or, if... then..., not, and some and all, but iterations of these operations, especially "some" and "all", were little understood: even the distinction between a sentence like "every boy loves some girl" and "some girl is loved by every boy" could be represented only very artificially, whereas Frege's formalism had no difficulty expressing the different readings of "every boy loves some girl who loves some boy who loves some girl" and similar sentences, in complete parallel with his treatment of, say, "every boy is foolish".

The following started with the intention of being a limerick, but unsurprisingly, I lack discipline.


There once was a bunny named Donnie
his visage a far cry from bonny
this saddened him greatly
fearing his fate, he
went to a shrink who said "Donnie…
beauty is truth and truth beauty."
His head far from shrunk, thought now he
"The truth, as far as I can see
is that every bunny loves some bunny who loves some bunny who loves some bunny"
for the truth of the mirror had set him free.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 22, 2021
Mmm, Chomps, me old mucka!

Gottlieb F. wos a heavyweight an all - ok, he so fell off the top ov his ladder but that don't mean the rungs wos dodgy innit.


I still fink yer Logic in general is not pretty cut an dried.

Title: crooked timber
Post by: Housemate on April 22, 2021

Should I take philosophy?

It looks like I'd better, to enhance ( my viewing experience.

Yo Immanuel! (

Yo Humbug!
Hope you don't mind that I've dangled you like a carrot to my followers on Twitter, who number in the double figures. Speaking of the big bird, I believe Kant would approve ( of this tweet:

Title: Breaking news
Post by: Chompsky on April 24, 2021
( (
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on April 24, 2021
Well Chompsky yer lookin well. All this paparazzi business is not disturbin yer composure then.

I am not actcherly a creatcher ov the Twitter-sphere meself but I do like ter keep up wiv the news media an I must say I fink that BoJo geezer as got a right cheek tryin ter get in on the bunny bandwagon, even if he did need sum new carpets.

My P.A. as bin doin sum research, an she says apparently it is a good idea ter av a poll becos if yer do this peeps will a) feel more closely involved wiv yer web persona, an b) buy more stuff. Now I am not sellin stuff at the moment but I notice from this video wotsit that rab stuff is rarver trendy. (

So praps they av already bought the stuff an are now lookin fer sum serious rab internet content ter make em feel better now they are skint. I dunno. Anyway, seize the moment mate!

Yer sort ov pre-empted me own thoughts on the reader engagement angle, an I av decided ter open up ter the public ter choose me next essay topic innit. I will give it sum time ter germinate.


Title: Hello world
Post by: Chompsky on April 30, 2021
Not many balloons ( outside my window lately. (Those sneakers would be highly unsustain ( if they landed anywhere near me.) There's still a parade of life.

I was born today. How was your day?

Just how many mums do I have?

What did I tell you about gambolling up to strangers?

Seen it all

Why do I get the feeling one of these is going to go missing?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 01, 2021
Well, today is Mayday, day ov the international workers an day ov the spring pole dancers an all that green man stuff so I am not very surprised that Pollyticks is the subjec that has won the reader's hearts today.

Fanks very much ter all ov yer fer participatin direckly in this ( democratic exercise an I ope yer won't be too disappointed innit if yer missed the deadline.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 01, 2021
Guest post from     
Humbug – the radical rabbit
The Beginner Bun’s Guide ter Pollyticks

No - this is not fleas on yer parrot! 

Pollyticks is wot pollytisherns like ter do.

There are menny different pollytisherns you can find  in the wild world.  Ere is a brief guide to elp you identificate a few of the majer species an their business. There are meeny miny uvver types ov pollytisherns too, but we av only got room ere fer some ov the majer types becos this is the internet innit.  We ope you will get some idea ov wot you are lookin at if you are lucky enough ter spot one ov these amazing creatchers.

1.  The bog standard Tory

This one can be recondised becos it leans ter the right. It lives in a big ole but likes ter build fings called 'luxury partments', especially near water. It likes ter drink wiv its mates but only if they av deep pockets ov silky fluff an a big wod. It as a blue bum.

2. The genuine leftie

This is an endangered species, so please don't poke it wiv a stick. It is liable to get stains all over yer posh carpet if yer let it get in the ouse. It as big eyes an a small belly.

3. The bandwaggin leftie

This is actcherly not a leftie at all but a completely different species, related ter the Tory. It as a much bigger belly than the genuine leftie an that is how you can tell wot it is. It is a good mimic but it is still too fat becos it likes ter wiggle about in the 'luxury partments' an eat bits ov scraps.

4. The 'middle ov the road' hybrid

This is not really a species at all, but it is probly the most common pollytishern nowerdays becos it likes ter get about a bit an it will av it off wiv anyfing at all. It may or may not av a blue bum but its pockets are rarver shallow, so its little wod sticks out and looks a wee bit bigger. It gets its common name from its habit ov lyin down an gettin run over.

5. The sudo-viridian

This type is too clevver ter bovver wiv climbin trees an diggin oles. It likes ter find a safe spot left over from annuvver creatcher an there it will sing its speshial song an make signs in the mud and then cuvver itself wiv the mud so it looks a bit more brown.

Try not ter be frightened ov these little erberts! They are mostly a bit ugly but it is probly best not ter turn yer back on em.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on May 01, 2021
Well, today is Mayday, day ov the international workers an day ov the spring pole dancers an all that green man stuff so I am not very surprised that Pollyticks is the subjec that has won the reader's hearts today.

My belly always votes green. (


I sometimes listen to pollytisherns on the wireless, (* but they almost inevitably tire me out so much I have to go have a lie down.


* What's wrong with wires? They're so moreish!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 01, 2021
Oh blimey Chompsky I am sorry if I freaked yer out by touchin on this topic but I felt duty bound ter respec the voters innit. Also it is possible that religion would also do yer nut in but praps not in such an up-front style.

Funnily enuff we wos sort ov listnin ter 'Any Questions' on the radio when that bit wos on but the P.A. actcherly managed ter miss it becos ov goin out in the garden fer sum leafs. She says fanks fer the synopsis.

There av bin 2 wimmin in me life an I'd say both ov em wos a deft hand wiv a brush, but this is probly becos I got fur-plucked today.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on May 02, 2021
A lot of things in the world alarm me, but your style isn’t one of them, Humbug.

Late last night I dug these out of the scrapbook:

We agreed to disagree. It was all very civilised. For the record, he's the one who requested the audience.

A number of years ago in London. The man is lifting the tape for me, how nice.

Funny I don't remember this. Sometimes I wonder about what comes out of that computer.

About halfway through the interview Lance tried to pick me up to soften his image.

Mark Rylance. ( Great actor, but it was my job to chew the scenery.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 02, 2021
You av bin gettin about a bit innit Chompsky an mixin wiv the stars, not ter mention leanin ter the left. I won't say I am envious tho becos I am actcherly comftable enuff at home really an also I am a bit camera shy.

I dunno if I will actcherly write about religion next, even though I av done the legwork on it. Praps we should av a bit ov light relief first. This mite mean a slight delay becos the P.A. is workin ter rule, as is the operatin system an the computer.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on May 04, 2021
leanin ter the left

And now the right. It's magic!


[Housemate here: he's never taken the slightest interest in his reflection]
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 06, 2021
Yo Chompsky!

Well it is good ter see fings from both sides innit.

I ope yer not on tenterhooks fer me next article becos the uvver computer is up the duff. First it wos toofpurrin but now it is deffo grindin in angry mode, so most ov me stuff is a bit hard ter get hold ov right now, an we av got no sound drivers eivver. Praps I will av ter come up wiv sumfing else off the beaten track!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 07, 2021
This computer is not an happy computer. It is a good computer when it's got XP on it but when it's got Windows 7 it goes a bit funny. The P.A. used ter like tinkerin wiv computers but she as decided not ter bovver these days becos life is worth livin.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on May 08, 2021



Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 09, 2021
Well, that wos nice ov yer ter post sum nice pictchers an a vid wiv subtitles Chomps becos we are still technologically challinged in the sound department.

Praps we could use one ov these -

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on May 11, 2021
source (
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 15, 2021
Allo! ALLO! I am back.

In case yer thought I wos goin ter featcher the sitcom genre ov tellyvisual art next I am sorry ter disappoint - but all is not lost. Faced wiv the inscrutability ov the interweb audio-visuals, we av taken refuge in the archives ov the P.A.'s brain!

So ere, at long last, by popular aclaim, is my next bit ov textural infro-tainment...
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 15, 2021
Guest post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit
Famous Footballers ov the 20th Century

Ov course rabs can play football, or 'soccer' as the yankee peeps kno it. We av developed styles based on our fizzical attributes wiv eclectic moves like the nose-bonk wot come more natcherally ter the rab. Owever, the modern professional game as limited scope fer the sheer individural flairs. Also the bootiful game as now become very soccernomicical wiv bigger bucks an longer shorts.

Ere are sum classic footballers yer may like ter remember wiv affection fer their artistry an impacts an ov course their hairstyles.

1. George Best

This footballer played fer Man U but he wos a Beatle's fan an he ad long hair an a hairy chest. Bestie wos a genius. An amazin dribbler, he wos also a heavy drinker wot wos his downfall in the end but it wos fun at the time. Peeps forget how he wos truly great becos he wos born in Belfast an he never got ter do dancin lessons in the World Cup. He got kicked about an fed up an then he went ter L.A. an hung out wiv his mates. He also played fer the Hibs ov Easter Road an who can blame him.

2. Diego Maradona

This wos the player wiv the radical hand ov god who wos born in poor Buenos Aires an wos annuvver boy genius an a bit curly. When he went ter Barcelona wiv big spondooliks fings got too much fer im so he went ter Napoli an made em win the league even tho they wos skint. He got the World Cup but he got his knee kicked in an all wiv a lot ov aggro an sum coke. Even tho he wos a playboy, el Diego luvved his mum an dad an his wife an kids very much an he luvved Argentina much more than Eva Peron an vice versa.

3. Paul Gascgoine

Gazza wos a breezy lad from Newcastle who became the star ov the Ingerlan team who were a bit crap wivout him an even wiv im becos they didn't gel. He wos very good but he wos more follicly challinged than Bestie or El Diego an I fink it broke is heart.

4. Hope Powell

When FIFA said she wos too big ter play wiv the boys Hope went ter join the Lionesses ov Millwall who sing 'No-one likes us, we don't care' but she scraped her hair back neat an tidy anyway. Then she played fer Brighton by the seaside an fer Ingerlan. As the Ingerlan women's team manager she was a champion ov women's football, but not ov the World Cup. It wos a shame when she got the sack becos the team wos even more crap wivvout her.

5. Carlos Valderama

Now that wos a barnet! Sorry mate I kno you av bin brilliant an all that but if yer bleached yer hair fer it ter stick out from the crowd then that wos a success.

6. Rene Higuita

Like a rush goalie on the 11-a-side pitch an yer could never get away wiv it now even if yer did give us Loco's Law ov the back pass. Annuvver nice barnet but natcheral colour.

7. Ruud Gullit

When he wos doin the total football in the orange strip ov the Nevverlands Ruudi ad dreads, wiv a fringe. Then the dreads got dinkier an by the time he wos Chelsea manager fer a bit they ad gorn off.

Today's football is still graced wiv notable sculpted hair but sadly in my hopinion yer angora style seems ter be out ov fashion.

Awright, don't tell me, I kno that I av missed out Pele. This is not becos ov short hair it is becos my research assistant says she wos too young ter see im play believe it or not.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on May 16, 2021
Excellent! I haven't a clue about football or soccer, though some of those names ring a bell.

Speaking of hair, here's someone playing for the Cleveland Browns, from my home state, with lots of it:

From the land of lochs (
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 16, 2021
Hmm, I see from yer link that bloke fancies a mullet. The mullet is not my idea ov a good look eivver in sports or in general, not even in Scotland. A perm would be less risible.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on May 17, 2021
For the uninitiated, they are the science-fiction Stooges, an alternative reality radiation-mutated Talking Heads playing the folk music of the open American interstate highways and post-industrial wastelands.

Would you share that take ( on them? I am of the uninitiated. I figured fellow Ohio boy Don Howland would've been a fan, and sure enough. ( (His is the only avant-garage name I can drop; we worked together at a bookshop in NYC a long time ago.)

Bonus points for the Alfred Jarry ( connection.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 18, 2021
Pere Ubu wos around before Talkin Heads we reckon. Also there wos no such fing as avant-garage, 'til after the garage, wot don't count if you wos before the garage innit. Alan Ravenstine wos brilliant an so wos Tony Maimone. Cannot be the same band wivout em. The 2 early singles wot became n e.p. 'Datapanik in the Year Zero' wos brilliant an 'Dub Housing' is deffo the best album.

folk music of the open American interstate highways and post-industrial wastelands
is sort ov about it, the P.A. agrees. David Thomas is a nutter. I prefer the reggie music meself.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on May 21, 2021
I wonder what kind of music Chompsky prefers, or doesn't. I know he likes being sung to.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on May 23, 2021
Hay - I like the singin too!

I wos listenin ter Mosi Conde playin the Cora yesterday.

This vid cuts off wiv a glitch at 4 minutes  45secs in becos the uploaders did not check it - it is still luvverly tho.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on May 24, 2021
Have been seeing more of Chompsky's wild cousins about, which is a joy. This guy was spotted outside my office window a couple couple years ago. I call this photo essay Dead End.






sometimes you have to pull yourself out of one


Title: Hare today
Post by: Chompsky on June 17, 2021
Housemate came back with considerably less than he left home with. I'll never understand how he could hear anything.


No after pictures have been approved for publication.

In other news, Finders Keepers remains the law of the garden. Trust me, little one, this acorn wouldn't be to your taste anyway.


I spy with my big eye


not one but two


make that three newbies.


Actually there are five at last count, though try rustling them all together for a group photo.

I wish you all the luck in your new world.



Clearly our patch is zoned for hoppers.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on June 26, 2021
Well Chompsky, these little rabs look like they are avin a fine time! Yer housemate on the uvver hand seems ter be rarver shy. Is he a bit peed off wivout the grey halo ov cheveux?

Barberism is not an art that I can fully appreciate meself, all fings considered, so I will now focus on a diffrent philosoffical topic - I kno I av kept yer waitin fer the religion piece fer quite a while, but ere it comes now...
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on June 26, 2021
Guest post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit

The Bigger Bun's Guide Ter Religion

Now it seems ter me that a lot ov peeps go about this religious business by puttin the cart before the horse, as it were. Yer get a list ov various so-called gods wiv their favourite hairstyles an their choice ov perfume an wot foods make em ill, but actcherly wot is more innerestin is how they get on wiv haulin the wagon ov the public mood.

In Richard Adam's Watership Down we get sum nice stories ov a religious nature - an these get rolled out at moments ov stress ter give the rabs a bit ov confidence or else ter stop em toterly freakin out. I rarver suspec that peeps av not cottoned on ter this sophistercatered approach ter holey matters an I would like ter offer my 2 cents.

1. Sun worship

Wot could be more natcheral than lookin up at the sun an finkin, 'Cor fanks!'? Owever if yer keep lookin it is a bit stupid becos yer eyes will get fried. Experience shows that the sun will do its fing regular as clockwork wevver we like it or not, so it probly makes not a lot ov difference if we call it 'Lord' or sumfing else like 'Fred', espeshially as it don't smell.

2. The elements

Rain is not regular like the sun, it is a lot more sketchy. If yer live sumwhere wot is very dry it mite make sense ter give water a bit ov status in the worship stakes. Then we av fire, wot is like a bit ov the sun on a BBQ, but it is not as tame as all that jazz. It is nice an warm tho, an almost as good as telly, so peeps av lots ov fire-worship stories but rabs av fur so we don't care. Air is actcherly there an all, an even tho yer can't see it yer can't live wivout it. Should we worship air or praps go a step furver an make an idol ov the Burnquist? Then there is Earth...

3. God as a big muvver

'Muvver Earth' comes ter mind, an also the notion of 'Gayer Earth'. Owever we mite like ter feel all jolly nuzzlin up ter this luvverly nurturin planet, takin in all the elements wiv their redolent odours, if we get too earthy we will miss wot is goin on up above. By all means kiss the ground peeps becos this will help stop yer gettin a bad back. Don't furget ter look up tho in case yer miss sumfing like a storm cloud gavverin on the horizon.

4. Farver figgers

Now most rabs do not av farver figgers wot play a big role in the nurture, but only the nature bit. Owever we seem ter get by awright. Yer little peeps are in a diffrent sitcheration becos ov wot is called family life. But if the 'daddy' ov the family is ov the religious persuasion worshippin a farver figure type god mite be very nice. On the one hand it is a role model fer the daddy an the muvver can say, 'You should behave yerself becos farver god does, innit baby.' but on the uvver hand if a lot ov blokes make the rules they mite say ter the muvvers, 'We are the big daddies like farver God wiv a capital G an yer av ter do as yer told.' Owever it seems ter me that if I wos god I would like me kids ter grow up clever enuff ter look after emselves wivout all that carrot an stick business.

5. Opiate ov the peeps

Opiates is medicines wot make yer sleepy an dreamy an lazy, sort ov like sendin yer ter heaven so yer don't fink about hard fings. But av yer ever wondered why Jesus the son ov the farver wos a bit ov a rebel an a big fan ov kickin out the moneylenders ov the temple but now his franchise the Church Ov Ingland is the biggest landlord ov the land an rakin in the spondooliks? Now Jesus as got corporate sponsors an he is also at least a bit past it, so it is difficult ter kno who said wot an when to whom. Owever yer Jesus, or Joshua as he wos formelly, wos apparently a bit suspicious ov blokes wot wrote the rules an I would encourage yer ter wake up an smell the coffee. Also I do believe it mite be a rarver good fing ter keep yer nose clean as well as yer feet.

6. Hedgin yer bets

Sum peeps make a fing ov sittin on the fence on the religious question an instead ov sayin it is all a load ov rubbish like yer out an out atheists, they say, 'Well it mite be true, maybe there is a creator ov the universe type god, we don't actcherly kno but Christmas is nice.'

7. Weird stuff

In time immoral there wos lots ov gods fer all diffrent types ov sitcherations an sum ov em were elephants an sum were giant tortoises an very strange fings an not like yer modern average god ov pure creation wiv a beard. But we still av the saints, even if they are stinkin at football, or soccer if yer a yank.

Seriously, the basic question boils down ter, 'Where did it all come from?' Apparently we av an unbounded universe ov amazin stuff wot follows sum kind ov maffmatical pattern an yer just can't get yer head round it. Did all this stuff come from nuffing? Where did yer actcheral god come from if it comes ter that? Is god comin ter tidy up all the funny stuff or shall we just get on wiv it ourselfs or in the meantime just keep takin the tablets?

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Ernestine on July 21, 2021
Ah Humbug, I am ready and willing to transcribe any further articles you may be brewing. Perhaps something more down to earth for the next piece though?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on July 22, 2021
Yer housemate on the uvver hand seems ter be rarver shy. Is he a bit peed off wivout the grey halo ov cheveux?

Word is, yes, a little. Was heard muttering something about Samson.

The Bigger Bun's Guide Ter Religion

If there is a god
nature red in tooth and claw
is the way he rolls
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on July 24, 2021
Well Ernie, I am sorry ter disappoint yer but I feel the call ov the wild an fink we should explore more off-worldly fings now we av started on the metaffisical road.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on July 24, 2021
Guest post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit
Famous Sci-Fi Ov The Cinema

Sci-Fi is short fer Science Fiction innit. Sci-Fi is a fun fing fer yer film artis becos ov the speshial effex wot means it is easier ter suspend yer disbeliefs. Sum Sci-Fi as got a metafissical subtex an sum ov it is just shoot-em-ups an sum ov it is a bit ov boff. Makin three films in a sort ov triptych ov epic proportion is a phenomernon ov Sci-Fi. This is known as a Trilogy. Makin more than three films is probly a bit naff.

A lot ov peeps fink outer space is fascinatin but Sci-Fi can also be about fings right ere on the planet Earth, as long as it is a bit ter do wiv science an it is also imaginertive. It is rarver innerestin wotchin the Sci-Fi films ov a long time ago wot wos about the future, an finkin, 'Who invented the i-phone?'

1. George Meliès

This wos a rarver imaginertive French geezer wot wos the first peep ter take cinema ter the moon an back. He got bored wiv the family business merchin boots but becos the Lumiere bruvvers would not sell him sum propper film kit he got a cheap coffee grinder instead an souped it up a bit. Soon he wos makin a mark wiv his amazin speshial effex. This wos one in the eye fer the Lumiere bruvvers wot wos left eatin their hats.

2. The Time Machine

This wos a story by H. G. Wells ov the Victorian age. Lots ov his stuff wos Sci-Fi but this wos the best actcheral film ov it. In this film sum peeps go far inter the future on a fing like a sledge wiv a clock on it an land in wot looks like Utopia, but then the Moorlocks ov the caves show up, an fings get very gory, a bit like wiv the snares ov Strawberry's warren in Watership Down.

3. Planet ov the Apes

This wos actcherally a trilogy plus one, so fergive me if I miss a bit... This bloke wakes up in a world ov chimpanzee culture an he is in a cage like a slave. First he finks the apes are monsters an then he sees that all is not wot it seems. The chimps are actcherly clevver an they av doctors an technology an they fink that peeps are stupid creatchers! In the end we find out that it is not a diffrent planet, it is right ere on the Earth ov the future wot as bin mashed up by human nitwits innit. Wot a suprise!

4. Star Wars

Star Wars wos a very big fing in the late 70's. In it we av the wickid Daft Apeth ov the dark side an we av Luke Skywalker an friends ov the freedom fighters. Daft Apeth is a bitter old git becos power as gone ter his head an he as got very bad flu. The freedom fighters av the cute robots an Princess Leia an Chewbacca ov the wookies but the dark side av got a deff-star in space an Rollerball outfits sprayed over wiv white paint, an it is all a bit touch n go. But then the freedom fighters wotched the The Dambusters an got a clevver idea... This wos annuvver one wot became a trilogy an then sum, but I am goin ter drop it there.

5. Logan's Run

Logan wos a bloke in a pleasure dome where all the peeps wos young an free - excep fer gettin zapped ter deff before they got old, an then fed back ter emselfs in pot noodles. Then the Logan crew wised up a bit an decided ter run away an live ter a ripe old age in the wild world an gro their own veg an get all wrinkly.

6. Back ter the Future

BTTF as got time travel in a Delorean wiv a flux capacitor and also it as got the first ollie ever ter be imagernated in Hollywood. BTTF is the best trilogy ever made an number 2 is the best film. Period.

7. Bladerunner

This is a good film, an a right tearjerker wiv the sorry plight ov the humanist robots. The P.A. says it is not as good as the book, but this is becos she is a bit ov a nerd.

Editors note - I av not put sum stuff like the Hitchhikers Guide ter the Galaxy in ere becos it wos not actcherly a film in the first place an it wos better on the radio innit.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on July 24, 2021
BTTF is the best trilogy ever made an number 2 is the best film. Period.

Further, it is axiomatic that you can't not like Michael J. Fox.

Thanks for hitting Sci-Fi, Humbug. Possibly the first longish book I read:


Wherein plucky young dreamer Kip* wins a mothballed space suit in a jingle writing contest, buffs it up real nice, gets picked up in a passing flying saucer and taken to the cold cold moon and other places where it comes in handy, then goes on to save us all. ( Because humanity, of course, is on trial.

In humanity's defense, Kip makes a stirring speech. The Mother Thing and a representative of another race argue that the short-lived species are essentially children who should be granted more time to learn and grow. It is decided to re-evaluate humanity after "a dozen half-deaths of radium.”**

Back home he is awarded a full scholarship to MIT, so it's win-win. Alas the film treatment remains in development hell. ( One could almost see a young Michael J. Fox in the title role.

* I have it in my head that he’s named after Kip Thorne. (
** 19,200 years. This was published in 1958, so we're still good for a while yet.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on July 25, 2021
Hmm - we av not read this one. (I ov course get ter read over or under the shoulder.)

'The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag' is a good treatment ov a similar business wivout the spacesuit heroics tho. Worth repeat readin.

The P.A, says she binged a bit on the Heinleins an the Asimovs from charity shops in teen an early 20s years. These days she as mostly given up on these spankin good yarns an reads uvver fings like crime novels an naval adventures.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on July 26, 2022
Hoag looks very trippy!

I haven't read much sci-fi lately either. The last one was Adrian Tchaikovksy's Children of Time. Being a sucker for time travel stories, which I thought this was before reading past the title, I was surprised to be sucked into a world of evolved spiders. Which would definitely not be my idea of a good time. Chompsky's not bothered by our eight-legged friends though.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Ernestine on July 27, 2021
Hoag is the only thing of Heinlein's that I found moving.

Science fiction in book form began for me with John Wyndham - who does spiders quite well. Chocky, Triffids and Midwich Cuckoos are better.

I oft imagined producing a soundtrack for an animation of Ursula K Le Guin's best - The Lathe of Heaven. The internet changed this as I found there is an author approved film of it already. Rather like Dick she wrote too many fillers, but that, The Left Hand of Darkness and of course The Dispossessed do move me.

Recently Jasper Fford's The Constant Rabbit was fun - well characterised/caricatured and dark enough for mine ill-tempered psyche.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on August 04, 2021
I think he wants me to read to him. Has already had a nibble.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on August 08, 2021
As yer may kno, if yer followin the trends ov current threads round an about, the P.A. as bin readin Gore Vidal again fer posteriority, even though he is still alive, we fink. Specifically 'Myron' wot ironicerly would make an amusinin sitcom, espeshially as it satyricises the realms ov TV reality an Hollywood.

Abandon science all ye who enter ere...
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on August 08, 2021
Guset post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit
Famous Sitcoms Ov The Golden Age Ov Telly

I don't fink I am alone in askin, 'Why is there so much doo-dah on the telly-vision these days?' It is a difficult question, an I av ad ter rely on my research assistant fer some clues on this one as well as the world wide web as I am deffo a rab ov the digital age. We av formed the hopinion that telly wos better in olden times becos peeps ad a longer span ov attenshun an becos telly wos a quite a new fing wiv more brainy peeps doin it, not only in the BBC but also on the uvver side.

Believe it or not sum rabs wotch quite a bit ov telly, but not me becos we don't actcherly av a telly. Even tho the BBC as gone down the tube we av bin told that David Attenborough is still quite popular, which is nice. Owever I am goin ter feature sum classic comedy programmes instead becos you gotta laugh innit.

1. The Lucy Show
Also known as 'I love Lucy' this sitcom had Lucille Ball an Desi Arnaz livin the life ov normal peeps fer entertainment value even tho they wos already famous. She hammed it up a bit an he played himself as the straight man. The telly-vision moguls wanted ter ditch Desi becos ov the Cuban heels an replace him wiv a starched dummy but this wos not appenin becos Lucy had the balls ter tell em where ter stuff it.

2. Bilko
Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko wos an old soldier ov fortune in Fort Baxter ov the US army barracks. He had a lot ov sidekicks in his motorpool wiv names like Wally, Barbella, Zimmerman an Paparelli an altergether they outwitted Colonel T. Hall an each uvver an lived famously ever after in Hollywood.

3. Steptoe an Son
Now we are movin ter London wiv Steptoe who wos an old codger ov the rag'n'bone trade wiv an horse. Harold wos his grown up son wot had respirations ter better imself an find a nice dolly bird down the pub. They had lots ov philersoffical diffrences about lifestyle choices becos the old man wos an embarrassment in this respec, but eventually their ramshackle gaff in Olde Notting Hill wos knocked off ter make way fer Hugh Grant's an the Steptoes rode off inter the sunset.

4. Til Deff us do Part

5. The Goodies
"Anyfing, anytime" wos the motto ov this trio ov eccentic Inglish entrepreneurs wiv their trandem bicycle an quirky ways. Then their vehicle got spiked becos ov contingencies. Tim an Graeme went off ter Radio 4 becos they didn't av a clue, but Bill Oddie wos more innerested in wotchin the birds, as yer do.

6. The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin
Reggie Perrin wos appily married ter Elizabeth sellin his puddins in the sunshine deserts but then he ad a mid-life crisis an pumped his rasbberry essence in the river an ran away ter the seaside instead. He changed is name ter Colin an got sum awful teef, but when he got sad an lonely he took em out again an returned as a glorified new age Steptoe. Plus ca change...

7. Fawlty Towers
Fawlty Towers was an hotel in Devon wiv pretensions above its name. We av Basil the boss man wiv Sybil the good woman, Manuel the Spanish waiter an also Polly, but Polly wos actcherly Connie Booth who wos really married ter Jon Cleese, who played Basil innit. Basil wos famous fer losin his temper an beatin his car wiv a tree an havin rarver bad taste but becos he is a full mony python he as bin fergiven. Only 2 series ov Fawlty Towers wos ever made so it would be dubbed ingenious an not go down the drain.

Why no Ab Fab or The Young Ones in ere, you may ask? Well, I decided they wos too contemporary at this point in time becos basically they are still gettin repeats on telly becos they are not politically incorrect enuff currently, just about. Deffo future classics tho!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on August 11, 2021
We don't have a tv either, but we have something called Netflix, which still involves a lot of staring at a screen, so it seems the same to me. I caught a glimpse of 'Sons of Anarchy' the other day and was not impressed.


I'm told the bunny was not harmed.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on August 12, 2021
That don't look much like a sitcom Chompsky.

We wos just wotchin an episode ov 'The Young Ones' while the P.A. wos waitin fer the Co-op Bank ter answer the phone. It wos exactly the right lengf but apart from that we wos not very impressed eivver. I blame that Ben Elton.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on August 21, 2021
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on September 01, 2021
Ah Chompsky, it is good ter see yer gettin stuck inter important stuff like this. I get fed rarver good hay, mostly, but I rarver envy the satisfaction ov sortin it out fer yerself.

I particulerly enjoy the aufentic sounds - wiv no distractin muzac. Don't get me wrong, I like a bit ov groove when I am in the mood, but food is food.



Wot a MOOC is owever I really doon't knoo.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on September 19, 2021

Serendipity. (

Wot a MOOC is owever I really doon't knoo.

Move Over Old Chum

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on November 08, 2021
A bit ov me-time!

Title: Delivery
Post by: Chompsky on November 10, 2021




Notes from the purchasing agent
"Rabbit Enrichment Specialists" = premium pricing: £15/4kg, as opposed to around £5/bale (weight: whatever a bale weighs). So much gets thrown out, we thought we'd give one of these places a try.

The early Christmas pressie looks better than the Haribo Wiggle throws in, but has been disallowed by his dietician.

New/Old. Hmmm.

So far it's got the same reject quantity, so not even close to worth it.

Oh, and nice to see you Humbug! Is that flower about to disappear?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on November 14, 2021
Yep! The flowers is the best bits.

I av got a new order comin from I am gettin the stalky timoffy hay, wot is nice, but they do meadow hay an all, wot I av never tried. It is £23 fer 7 kilos. Also it is not as cutesy-wutesy an it ain't got no beetroot.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Housemate on November 14, 2021
I wish we could let Chompsky romp in the garden, but the bunny plague is endemic in these parts, the birds would give him a heart attack, and foxes make regular appearances.

The only real positive of the new hay is it's shorter and he takes less out to scatter on the floor (to forage, presumably). Plus it does now look like he might be eating a bit more. Still not worth it. He has a sample box of timothy varieties on the way from another place - has grown up on meadow. May try your place as well.

He had his annual shot last week. As it happens, I'm currently in a vaccination centre parking lot waiting for Chomps's dietician to have her 3rd jab.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Ernestine on November 14, 2021
I think I told you about the 10kg sack we got on ebay - a lot of timothy but quite mixed. It was cheaper at £20 and ok, not as good as 'box of hay'. I don't have the link on this computer tho. Will try and look it up.

Best wishes after the jab.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on November 25, 2021
( (


Title: Welcome to the neighbourhood
Post by: Georges Seurat on December 02, 2021
Si les points sont trop gros, vous vous tenez trop près.

meet the model

This is George. He seems to like our garden.


He's welcome to it.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on December 03, 2021

Eh, Chompsky, cet foin tres bon, non?

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on December 04, 2021
Good morning (not that the timestamps around here are any help). The new hay is a revelation.


To be continued...
Title: Fine dining
Post by: Housemate on December 10, 2021
C'est un grand changement. Really big.

Unbelievably exciting for some

– Delivery was next day. This was unexpected and frankly unnecessary (the frenzied need to have everything RIGHT NOW can't make life fun for those in the driver's seats), but it’s kind of hard to complain.

– It doesn't smell quite as nice as his usual meadow hay!

– Hallelujah, he eats most of it.

– Less cleanup. Hay infamously gets everywhere. Not so much anymore. Unlike the baled variety we've been getting, it doesn't come in big tangled tufts for him to grab and drag out of the tray. As he's more interested in it, he doesn't feel the need to spread it out on the floor to forage. All this time he's been picking out the good stuff. Now it's almost all good stuff. I don't even have to sweep up most nights.

– "Dust free" wasn't an empty promise. In fact it makes me feel guilty that he's been putting up with dust for so long. It's been absolutely dreadful lately.

– £35 for 15kg, so ouch, as that's normally what we'd pay for about a year's supply.* Looks like I'll have to update that spreadsheet. ( A small amount will be clawed back in savings on petrol due to fewer trips picking up bales then throwing most of them away at the tip...

Allowing for his weight [just under 2kg] in hay daily, with a heavy adjustment for pessimism, I originally estimated this

would last 6 weeks. However, judging by his rate of consumption so far, projections are now up to two and a half or even three months.

I don't remember quite how we landed on ( You know what it's like, you look at the pics, see what other people are saying about them, consult your gut… I liked that they weren't cutesy, but they lost points for being a little mysterious. I guess it would be nice to see their farm or operation or whatever. "Exclusive to us, you can only buy this quality of hay directly from us" also wasn't a pitch which resonated. But you've got to choose something and get on with your life.

* Slightly nervous about apostrophes after my Dealbreakers poll, I sought the advice of an expert on r/grammar:

Quote from: jack_fucking_gladney
Linguists call this the genitive of measure. We typically think of the genitive as indicating possession: John's hat, the dog's bowl. But the genitive has many other semantic roles, and measure is one of them. You are essentially saying "such a supply as to last one year".
Title: Anniversary
Post by: Chompsky on December 12, 2021
Hard to believe it's six years since I first came through that door.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Ernestine on December 16, 2021

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on December 18, 2021

I wonder where my brothers ended up. Two of them, Larry and Curly, went off together.

In this picture Moe was hogging the water bottle as usual.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on January 02, 2022

I'll help myself, thanks.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on January 02, 2022

Takeaway always tastes better for some reason.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on January 03, 2022

Thank you for your service.
Title: Sociale animalium
Post by: Chompsky on January 04, 2022
He's crossed the road again. ( Colour me unsurprised.


I will, however, be flabbergasted if he finds anyone who wants to chat about little old me and my fellow lagomorphs. We're kind of a specialist subject, to coin a phrase. That mark of Cain can't help either.

Who knows how many similar threads he's started over the years. Here's another, ( oddly abandoned as it was much better subscribed. It's a head scratcher.

The ways of Homo sapiens are inscrutable.
Title: Why J K Rowling must die
Post by: Chompsky on January 05, 2022
In a departure from my usual content, and belatedly inspired by Humbug's foray into politics, ( I hereby publicly subscribe to this sentiment:

J K Rowling must die (

How can a peacenik like me


betray his very nature, you may ask if you haven't clicked. (I find that many people are content with headlines and resist the lure of hypertext.)

Call me a fan of the First Amendment. There's a lot of good stuff in there, but I refer of course to freedom of speech. Who wants to be


the monkey on the right in this enablers triptych?

Even if it means putting up with poison like this ( and this, (


it's imperative that even filthy memes like this,

questionable justifications from baddies like this, ( and hysterical screeching such as to be found in the hellish cesspit of Mumsnet ( be allowed an airing so that we may better engage our brains in the outlandish act of thinking for ourselves, without fear or favour of all-powerful gatekeepers.

J K must die not just because that is the fate of all creatures great and small, but because Lord Frith demands an Icarus every now and then. Ours is very much to reason ( why. Meanwhile, turn it up

Title: Re: Why J K Rowling must die
Post by: Humbug on January 08, 2022
Cor luv-a-duck Chompsky, yer got me inter a right can ov old wurms ere mate.

Are yer sure it wos me pollytickals wot inspired yer an not too much ov that posh hay?

The P.A. as finerly cum out as a 'This woman is complete scum', as yer probly kno, but I wos rarver plannin ter sit on the fence fer a bit innit, bein a rab.

Natcherally, as a fan ov Ursula K. Le Guin, who as got nuffing ter do wiv it, I can only say that this is wot tends ter appen if yer write popperlist ficyions based on patriarchal broomsticks.
Title: Re: Why J K Rowling must die
Post by: Chompsky on January 09, 2022
I'm glad to live in interesting times* and that you contribute to them.

Without wishing to get completely tangled in the briar patch of Ms Moneybags, ( whose fiction I have never nibbled, ensuring that all but the most obvious HP references fly over my head, I am sufficiently impressed by her commendable actions and utterances to forgive deplorable ( ones. Unless she oversees a torture pit I'm unaware of. That would definitely be a dealbreaker.


* That a bunny should have need of asterisks is highly unlikely, though there is quite a long list ( to choose from. More to the point, all times must be interesting.
Title: Have a seat
Post by: Chompsky on January 10, 2022

Little did we know... (
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on February 28, 2022
A Humbug geek guide fer peeps - lots ov answers yer just can't find on the interweb

Why is My Computer so Bollox?   
Humbug - the radical rabbit

Ter answer this question, first ov all I will av ter write the glossary ov technical terms innit becos contrary ter yer expectorations this will actcherly make fings easier.

Also I can use sum acronyms wot are nifty names an shorter ter boot.

BIO - Built in Obsolescence
OS  - Hoperatin System
HD  - Ard Drive
usb - Easier drive
hardware - ardware
software - pretty pattens fer yer ardware
drivers - ardware codes, mostly armless
RAM - random anxious memory
VGA - video gubbins actcherly
ISP - Interweb Stuff Procurer
Linux Grub - a fing like a libertarian wiggly wurm
PC - Internashianal Business Machine
syspart - where yer boots go

Wot generally hoppens wiv yer computer is first ov all it won't do wot yer want.
Then when yer fink yer got it all sorted it goes on the blink.

Please remember ter back up yer dater becos if yer don't then yer could end up up the syspart wivout a loader innit.

After that yer could do one ov three fings - get a new one, get annuvver old one, or 'fix' it. But if yer ain't got a spare computer it will not be easy ter fix it becos 'Easy PC troubleshootin' an 'MS-DOS Explained' an 'The Debian Gnu/Linux 3.1 Bible' will not help yer wiv the modern computer. Yer mite av ter nobble it instead. Then even if yer can get on the interweb that will probly tell yer eivver too much or not enuff.
Gettin yer head round this aspec ov the BIO is a career in itself innit.

In the olden days a solution ter the BIO wos ter get a Mac, wot had the Mac OS wiv the testy matched hardware, but it wos more expensive an yer got the 32 char filenames limit ov doom. Now it is still more expensive wiv the longer filenames but it ain't got the oles fer all yer cables wot is yet annuvver aspec ov the dredded BIO.

Yer mite fink 'Sod this fer a game ov nobblers I will download the Linux Grub!', an good luck ter yer mate!

Owever if yer (usb) stick wiv the PC then yer got ter choose between the vintage (Ahem) OS or the updatered OS. The vintage OS will do wot it is told sumtimes an it will probly work yer old hardware but it will be a pig in a poke on the interweb.
The updatered OS will do wot it likes wevver yer like it or not an yer will become a minion ov the matrix. Owever yer can get a massive HD an trillions ov RAM an morgidge yer brain fer all the new software again! But, deep down, yer will feel like a pillock.

If yer decide ter get a vintage (Ahem) PC yer can be a geek like me, which is nice,
but it will take weeks ter find sum drivers fer yer VGA an then they will keep poppin out ov wack for evermore, an yer will still feel like a pillock.

But it is not yer fault! It is the jobbies an gatefolds ov tech innit.

Finerly, please beware ov the ISPs becos they will get off ov yer cloud when yer callin a font fer yer web fingy an yer winders will ang toterly wonky.

Title: Thumbs up & down
Post by: Chompsky on March 28, 2022
I don't know anything about ISPs other than that there was a lot of grumbling about ours because thanks to Eunice (RIP if you're a fan of storms I guess – if we were on Jupiter she might have lived for hundreds of years*) we didn't have home broadband for a while, and they were useless until the principal Nextflix consumer asked for help on what turned out to be an influential forum. We've since switched ( to an obscure but highly regarded provider. Regular service has resumed. Actually better than regular, so again, thanks Eunice.

Snarky • Feels Like Wasted Time • Next!

As for The Adam Project, my thumbnail review is: reasonably fun but grew annoying in a myriad of ways, not least because of the mouthy kid ( (there's another highlighted here (

Everyone's a critic (

* I'm playing a little fast and lose with the science ( here, but don't imagine anyone will call me out on it.
Title: We have the technology
Post by: Chompsky on April 09, 2022
Only we don't all know how to use it.

This is terrible! But you get the idea. It's the very first time I ever tried to add sound effects, other than music provided by YouTube.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Ernestine on April 17, 2022
Chompsky, your feats (and indeed feets) are admirable. I was, alas, a kid before mouthy became fashionable.

Well congratulations on your new ISP. This transfer has been 'on my to do list' for a couple of years now. I still have a pulse dialling telephone and intend to keep it, and will need to get another line connected to avoid the perils of voip, so I'm still saving up. Or I might simply retire.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on April 19, 2022
I could dial one of those if they didn't keep trimming my nails. (

Title: Say hello to my little friend
Post by: Housemate on April 30, 2022
Came across this charming children's book about a cat and a rabbit. "Every word of Marshmallow ( is true, even to the drawing of them wrapped in each other's arms. I know people find this hard to believe, but the bunny was so little and was so convinced that Oliver was his mother, what could Oliver do but be his mother the best way he could?"


We're not big fans of cats. ( Cartoon cats are OK.

Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on June 15, 2022

Consider this an official endorsement. (


Incognito. Works for me.

Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on July 20, 2022
Spare a thought for those of us with fur coats.

These tiles they have scattered about the place help.


That's all I have energy to write.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on August 12, 2022

Not bad. She could be an honorary rabbit.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on February 17, 2023
Awright Chompsky?

I celerbrate my return ter the NACF wiv a borrowed joke...


Title: A growth industry
Post by: Chompsky on February 19, 2023
“I asked my dad, Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares.”

From here. Note the URL. ( I do like the “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave” one. Oops, gave away the punchline.

No receding hairlines hereabouts.


Not sure why they kept some of my fur. Was it no more complicated than having an empty knick-knack?

He who is on comb duty is getting quite hirsute again. Not as bad as this yet...

Housemate came back with considerably less than he left home with. I'll never understand how he could hear anything.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on February 20, 2023
Hmm. I got thru 3 ov them jokes an then a window ov cookie warnins came up. But I couldn't find the cookies. I fink it is all a bit ov a tease.

Title: Sign the petition
Post by: Chompsky on March 08, 2023
( (

I'm just a silly bunny, but even I know that when they cut off my balls (I guess they had their reasons), I didn't change sex.
Title: Re: Sign the petition
Post by: Humbug on March 11, 2023
Well Chomspky, the P.A. signed the petition, even tho she strongly dislikes petitions.

Owever I av got a philosoffical question fer yer... Wot if they made a mistake on yer birf certificate becos yer got funny bits an then yer need ter get it changed becos it is factcherly incorrec?
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on March 13, 2023
I av got a philosoffical question fer yer... Wot if they made a mistake on yer birf certificate becos yer got funny bits an then yer need ter get it changed becos it is factcherly incorrec?

Those who have DSDs deserve consideration, which they appear to get. (

By the way, did you know female rabbits have two uteruses? I bet you did. I didn't!
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on March 19, 2023
Hmm, fank you.

I didn't kno about the double-wombs. The P.A. says it rings a bell, but I say hmmm.
Title: Mother's Day
Post by: Chompsky on March 19, 2023
Breakfast and a kick in the face.

Title: The pain in Spain
Post by: Chompsky on April 24, 2023
A plague of rabbits, ( says The Guardian. Time for a stern letter to the editor about hostile collective nouns. Apparently aardvarks have 'armoury'. I like the way they think.

Glad to hear my Spanish cousins have become immune to myxomatosis.
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on May 04, 2023
Have you met my friend archy? (
Title: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Chompsky on June 23, 2023

Me neither!

Someone went to Bateman's today.


What does it say about me that my brain immediately added /Them


That looks exceptionally nibbleable.


Poor Binkie.


♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ (
Title: Fancy meeting you here
Post by: Chompsky on June 24, 2023
How to Keep Rabbits Out Of Your Garden (
Quote from: House Beautiful
Supposedly, rabbits are afraid of their own reflection, so placing small mirrors or jars filled with water around your garden is said to keep them at bay. Place them near your most valuable plants or the ones they attack the most.

Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on August 02, 2023

After bein off the radar fer sum RnR I feel the urge ter publish sum ov me class grippins. I ope yer will fergive me verbiage wot I am uploadin ere only becos I wos given the bum's rush by Private Eye. Ahem...

Guest post by
Humbug the Radical Rabbit

The Beginner Bun's Guide ter the Terf Sitcheration

Now this is not a guide ter the kind ov turf wot orses like, which is nice.
No, I am talkin about the Rad Fems ere an the trans wotsits innit.

This is a rarver complicatered fing an so, as a rab, I am goin ter break it
down inter sum key points fer yer.

1. The Brain
Sum peeps reckon that there is a female kind ov brain an that this kind ov
brain likes ter wear a dress an frilly knickers an it is nice an kind
an it also needs ter go ter the toilet wiv uvver female brains.

2. The Brain again
Uvver people like my P.A. reckon that this female brain fing is a load ov
cobblers becos actcherly she likes ter wear pants an she is a mean doozy an as
also taught herself ow ter pee up a tree.

3. The Gonads
When yer pregnant it don't matter wot knickers yer wearin becos they are
probly goin ter get a bit wet anyway. Wot matters a bit more is wevver yer baby
farver is a pillock wot says 'Yes, yer can go ter Uni an do yer Maffs an I
will stay at home ter look after Junior, I promise.' But then he says 'I am
the breadwinner an yer better do the washin an don't ferget ter iron me pants
like me muvver did even tho I ate her guts.'

4. The March ov History
Now wiv hindsight yer new muvver in this sitcheration mite fink 'Hmm, I may not
be Einstein but I am glad I looked after little Junior becos if little babies
picked up stoopid ideas like that the world would av a lot more pillocks innit.'

5. Synthesis
Wotever. If yer want ter wear make-up an funny shoes I fink that is fine an
dandy. David Bowie wos a great artis. Owever Adam Ant wos a bit ov a wannabe
but it takes all sorts.

Well I ope this as elped ter get fings a bit more straight fer yer.
Title: All of me
Post by: Chompsky on August 02, 2023
I thought the scene I was looking for was in The Man with Two Brains, but it turns out to be All of Me.

Skip to around .52 if you don't require too much exposition.
Title: Re: mm-mm-mm
Post by: Humbug on August 08, 2023
Fank you fer that intrestin clip Chompsky. It inspired me ter look fer a wise quote from Steve Martin but this wos the best he could come up wiv...

"Knowledge of means without knowledge of ends is animal training."

I am tempted ter criticise him fer this one on the grounds that I do not wear any shoes.