NACF

~ => . . . => Topic started by: sam on December 13, 2019

Title: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: sam on December 13, 2019
(https://prettygoodbritain.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/slaughtered700.jpg)

Open for business
Title: Shirley Jackson
Post by: Shirley Jackson on December 14, 2019
Is this the pub at the end of the universe? Yes? I've come to the right place.

A round for the house, it's my birthday.
Title: Nero
Post by: Nero on December 15, 2019
And now it's mine! Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow I have a fiddle recital.
Title: Jane Austen
Post by: Jane Austen on December 16, 2019
Give me a bath gin. (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/gin/bath-gin-and-other-british-spirits-jane-austen-would-give-a-wink/) Nero's paying.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Mary Cartwright on December 17, 2019
'Tis chaos theory which brings us all here. Make mine a Bloody Mary.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Ignatius J. Reilly on December 17, 2019
I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Saki on December 18, 2019
[finds somewhere else to sit]
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: J. J. Thomson on December 18, 2019
Would you mind changing the channel?


That video is giving me a headache.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Édith Piaf on December 19, 2019
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Jenny Agutter on December 20, 2019
I'll have a hair of the dog that bit me.
Or maybe the whole head.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Jack Russell on December 21, 2019
Are you talking to me?
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Samuel L. Jackson on December 21, 2019
I'm here researching my role for Snakes in a Pub.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Ralph Fiennes on December 22, 2019
Me too!
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Donna Tartt on December 23, 2019
...based on what I think it may be my best book yet.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Jean-François Champollion on December 23, 2019
Let us hope the nuance isn't lost in translation.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Carol Vorderman on December 24, 2019
Did somebody mention snakes? (https://twitter.com/carolvorders/status/807312390324912128)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Humphrey Bogart on December 25, 2019
I gave up drinking once. It was the worst afternoon of my entire life.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Mary Somerville on December 26, 2019
All I've got is one of these. Will it buy anything?

(https://prettygoodbritain.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/RBSnote.jpg)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Thomas Gray on December 26, 2019
I'll write you a poem if you pay my tab.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Louis Pasteur on December 27, 2019
Little old lady got mutilated late last night
it wasn’t Jack Russell that gave her a bite,
but a wolfman, and sadly, there is no vaccine
except a silver bullet from the vending machine
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Arthur Eddington on December 28, 2019
What did the proton say to the electron?
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Mary Tyler Moore on December 29, 2019
"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?"
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Ted Danson on December 29, 2019
Beats the hell out of me. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVG1YGdoCWo)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Patti Smith on December 30, 2019
It's a marvelous night for a moondance



Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Rudyard Kipling on December 30, 2019
Patti had a little horse
Its mane was white as snow
And everywhere that Patti went
The horse was sure to go;
It followed her to t'pub one night
A thirsty beast was he...


Still waiting for my pisco sour over here. Is this what you call service?
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Anthony Hopkins on December 31, 2019
(https://prettygoodbritain.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/westworld.jpg)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Marie Tussaud on December 01, 2020
Waxing nostalgic is an occupational hazard.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Willa Cather on December 07, 2020
Whatever we had missed, we possessed together the precious, the incommunicable past.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Noam Chomsky on December 07, 2020
If it’s a day which will live in infamy, it must be Monday.

Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Sammy Davis Jr. on December 08, 2020
I knew a man Bojangles and he danced for you.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: James Thurber on December 08, 2020
Inscrutable to the last.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Dalton Trumbo on December 09, 2020
I'm Spartacus.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: John Milton on December 09, 2020
Grateful digressions, and solve high dispute
With conjugal caresses: from his lip
Not words alone pleased her.


My mind has gone unaccountably blank.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Grace Hopper on December 09, 2020
Is that a slide rule in your pocket, or are you just happy with your sums?
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Ada Lovelace on December 10, 2020
We meet again. (https://www.notanothercyclingforum.net/index.php?topic=2008.msg11229#msg11229)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Emily Dickinson on December 10, 2020
Tell the truth but tell it slant
I know you can – don't say you can't
a story told too literally
is not likely to interest me
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Overheard on December 14, 2020
Quote
OK, I make no pretenses of knowing what life is all about. But I have spent a enough time on this spinning blue ball to tell you what it is not:

Life is not Cake or Death. (https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2020/12/links-12-13-2020.html#comment-3483027)

There are nuances, shades of gray, degrees of risk, sides of a story, and more than one way to skin a cat.

But try to talk to people about politics, and it always gets resolved to either “Cake or Death”.

Try to talk to a politician about policy, and it always gets resolved to either “Cake or Death”.

Try to talk to a Preacher about religion and our place in the Cosmos, and it always, as sure as Buddha rose on the third day and saw his shadow, gets resolved to either “Cake or Death”.

And God help you if you ever have to talk money with a bean counter, because “Cake or Death” is the motto of every MBA program on the effing earth.

Not following this? Fine, let me ‘splain it. Not every decision can be made so effing lead pipe simple that the only choice is a beacon to the blind, a symphony to the deaf, or hot fiery awful death. There is no intelligence in “Cake or death”. Monkeys could make the call and be a damned sight quicker about it. Offer a spider monkey some delicious bundt cake, and a ball of vipers, and see what happens. That’s right, the cake is gone and the snakes get an aversion complex. Maybe they would like some cake until they get over it?

If I am forced to walk this earth surrounded by only cake picking monkeys, than so be it. Monkeys are fairly entertaining, or at least they are when you tease them. But Noooo! I have to drag this earthly bondage along to God knows what end surrounded by people that claim to be intelligent, and whose only response to a complex issue is to ask “can you give me the Cake or Death version?”

AUUUUGGGGGHHHH!

Hey, I like a rigged game as much as the next guy. You know, “heads I get cake, tails you lose your cake to me”. Go ahead, flip a coin. Be daring. Sport.

I curse the life that is “Cake or Death”, and all that sail in her.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Freeman Dyson on December 15, 2020
The total energy required for indefinite survival is finite. Pour me another universe of possibilities, (https://www.centauri-dreams.org/2015/01/23/who-will-read-the-encyclopedia-galactica/) barkeep.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Overheard on December 16, 2020
Rafael Behr (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/15/boris-johnson-pandemic-britain-christmas-covid)

Quote
Johnson’s technique for dealing with problems is to let them run out of control, building to a point of sufficient crisis that delay is no longer viable. That way the choice becomes perversely easier because there are fewer options left. Wait long enough and there might be only one.

That is how he has dealt with Brexit. He imagines that brinkmanship is a negotiating strategy to wring concessions out of Brussels, but in reality it is just a way to simplify the decision by eliminating options that needed time to develop. He lets procrastination do the heavy lifting. He can then tell himself (and his audience) that the final outcome, while not perfect, is the best available solution. And maybe it is. But only because it is so late in the day and all the better solutions have long since expired.

It is a chaotic way to run anything: leaving it all to the last minute, relying on a critical mass of external pressure to get motivated. As a way of governing in a pandemic it is disastrous because there is no slack time between deadlines. The moment to make the tough choices is always now. The rate at which good options decay is exponential. The virus thrives on indecision. Johnson’s method is effective for one thing, though: it guarantees a sustained pitch of political drama, with the figure of the prime minister lit centre stage. It forces the nation to hang on his word, waiting for him to act, while the consequences of his inaction play out. That bathes him in an aura of power, but it is not leadership.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Archduke Franz Ferdinand on December 18, 2020
Can't we all just get along?

Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Albert Michelson on December 19, 2020
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Pieter de Hooch on December 20, 2020
If it wasn't for open doors I might have made a living painting doors.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Frank Zappa on December 21, 2020
It can't happen here
I'm telling you, my dear
That it can't happen here
Because I been checkin' it out, baby
I checked it out a couple
A times, hmmmmmmmm
And I'm telling you
It can't happen here
Oh darling, it's important
That you believe me
(Bop bop bop bop bop)
That it can't happen here.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Rebecca West on December 21, 2020
There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Edwin Arlington Robinson on December 22, 2020
I shall have more to say when I am dead.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Joseph Smith on December 23, 2020
KNOCK-KNOCK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JacoaohBg4&t=2m00s)

Who's there?

GOD

You what?

I WOULD SMITE THEE FOR RUINING MY PUNCHLINE

I don't believe you even had a punchline.

OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH, THAT'S STRIKE TWO

Go on then, God who?

GOD WHO CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH AND ALL THINGS WHICH CREEPETH

Where's the joke?

LIFE IS A COMEDY TO THOSE WHO THINK

Is this your way of saying humanity is the punchline?

(RESUMES THE SILENT TREATMENT)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Howard Hughes on December 24, 2020
Knock-knock

Who's there?

Howard Hughes

Howard who?

No, Hughes

Oh, right. PPE deliveries in the back, Howard.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Henri Matisse on December 31, 2020
Sacré bleu, c'est Blondie. (https://joshreads.com/2020/11/hell-in-a-white-collar-cell/) Mais quand c'est vrai, c'est vrai.

(https://prettygoodbritain.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/blondie-1.gif)
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Paul Revere on January 01, 2021
The British are leaving, the British are leaving.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Louis Braille on January 04, 2021

"All copyrights belong to more talented people."
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Aaron Pelvis on January 08, 2021
I called a wrong number and somebody picked up. It was Best Quality Vacuum, in Albuquerque. We got to chatting, and it turned out he could give me a new identity. So here I am, tending bar and organising the pub quiz.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Andy Kaufman on January 17, 2021
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Annë Brontë on January 17, 2021
Everyone’s a diacritic.
Title: Re: The Slaughtered Lamb
Post by: Auguste Comte on January 19, 2021
I try to stay positive.