Author Topic: Bestiary


« on: July 25, 2019 »
It's only fair to start with myself.

Former vegan; call me vegan at heart. Have good hearing, as recently tested by a professional who shut me into a sound booth and tickled my ossicles. Vision attuned to danger, though I can be surprisingly nonchalant about large moving objects in close proximity. Have been known to jump into things without being sure exactly where I'll land. Like books; not necessarily for reading. Spend a lot of time staring into space.

Every time I see Nigel, his bike is cleaner than mine was when new. The drivetrain appears to operate in a vacuum. The rear hub is shinier than a patent leather shoe. Even the little spaces where the spokes meet have been attended to, possibly by dental floss. I think he stores it in a clean room, which he also cleans from time to time.

I'm sure there's a great deal more to Nigel, but this is strictly for entertainment purposes.

Patrick is the cyclist I will never be: lithe, fast, able to pedal astonishing distances without breaking a sweat.

Meep meeps optional

I've known Adrian for years, but it may as well have been minutes: he remains a mystery. I did spot him one day communicating with a Jackdaw, which is a bird I also know nothing about. It's possible Adrian was in the process of inhabiting him like Bran Stark in Game of Thrones.

captured - the moment where they exchange bodies

Claud was easy, as she put this right in one of her avatars. I have no idea why she chose it, but there is nobility.

Colin, from the old days. Who knows what he's up to, but whatever it is, he's likely ruffling feathers.

rhymes with who-man

Martin on a refueling stop at BuddleiaChat.

Jenny chose the sobriquet TinyMyNewt on a forum. She lives on the coast, making her semiaquatic as far as I’m concerned.

Jenny #2 rides a Brompton exclusively, so the first thing that came to mind was an armadillo, as the image of it neatly folding into itself seemed to fit. However, armadillos are almost all armour, and she doesn’t strike me as someone who uses that when meeting strangers. I searched her Facebook pics and posts for a beast that would do her justice...

It turns out she’s something of a topiary wrangler. Voilà, 'Elephanticorn' (see comment). This is pleasing on two levels:
– Using the word ‘elephant’ in association with the petite Bromptonista is like calling an extra large friend of yours ‘tiny’.
– She has ridden her mite of a bike over 200 miles in one go, which as far as I'm concerned, is the stuff of legend.

Stuart’s attention is caught by another Friday night ride to the coast. I was thinking whippet, but this is a greyhound, from which they're descended. Either works.

Ross won a raffle. “What on earth am I supposed to do with this??” he asked on Facebook. “Answers on a postcard please!” Here’s my answer: welcome to the bestiary.