Author Topic: 10


« on: July 10, 2019 »
I was going to call this '10 Posts to Read Before You Die', taking my cue from the cottage industry of books making bold claims on whatever time you have left, but that seems impertinent. '10 Best Posts' might prove devastating, as having sampled the first, perhaps to find it wanting, you might make the executive decision to skip the rest. So let's just stick with '10', shall we? A carefully curated selection of posts I hope you won't miss while you're here (or there, which if you look at the URL, is also here).

You're still here, right?

The Rules
If any of these rules do not sit right with you, please remember not to shoot the messenger. Kindly direct any foul oaths to the heavens.

My Critical Mass
"No! You can go your own way!" he barked, entirely unaware he was covering Fleetwood Mac. At this he promptly toppled into a small stack of heuristic literature. The bookseller was beside himself; I compensated for his damages from my purse, considering it a savings on the bail I would've unfortunately felt compelled to supply otherwise.

The Bike 4 U
I am confident within an acceptable margin of error that certain personalities are attracted to certain bicycles.

A Study in Scarlet
His mind was an encyclopedia of crime which I devoured, from arson to zoning violations – a backwater of criminality, but one which offered rich opportunities for blackmail lest a bit of arson be called for.

Did cycling kill Kraftwerk?
On the contrary, it has been persuasively argued by music historian Günter Grasshopper that Kraftwerk very nearly killed cycling.

A limo, 6 lesbians and a liquor store
I work for a company based in deepest Mormon Utah... There are a whole raft of religious convictions that I am not sufficiently au fait with to fairly dissect. Sufficient to say that there are a great many church based meetings, societies, functions and other intercourses that consume many evenings and much of the weekends. This can be rather surprising to the unwitting visitor who can find the streets as empty as an alien abduction movie at certain times of the week.

Licence to Drive
Q was slow to hide his disdain. "Surely you've ridden a bike before?" Apparently too horrified to wait for an answer, he relaxed into techgeek mode. "This particular model has been equipped with several refinements."

He said this last bit just as I was gripping the brake levers experimentally, causing the chain to leap off and wrap round his legs.

"Squeezing both levers at exactly the same time with exactly the same pressure initiates phase one of the defense mechanism," said Q with exaggerated patience, disentangling himself.

Collateral Damage
I get this impression of quiet competence around me, civilians drafted into temporary duty until the proper authorities take over. A man has been directing traffic, allowing cars to slowly pass. Soon the police get here and everything stops. Time itself seems to stop.

What does your bike tell us about you?
Is your wife's underwear comfortable? No, not unless you're wearing it on your head. (You didn't specify. I know some things by book learning, others through experience.) We all have our little rituals and quirks, some more deserving of Facebook status updates than others. Textbook case of the id overruling the ego. Also for comfort reasons.

Why don't you see pros eating bananas?
Bananas are bad luck, and most pros are superstitious. Herewith a gallery of the wrong fruit at the wrong time.