Nextflix

[The Watcher]

Archive of this page: https://archive.ph/Ujiqz

. . .

Let's start with the bad news. Public humiliation awaits when I roll back my promise to quit Netflix after their decision to switch all of us on the basic plan to one with /spits/ adverts unless we move up a notch and pay accordingly. This has been sold as a savings, as the price does indeed go down if you're fine with /spits/ adverts: the thought of paying for /spits/ them is almost too disgusting for words. But let's be honest. The chances I'll be satisfied with the dodgy but free and incredibly well stocked streaming service which supplied last night's entertainment aren't good. What's so difficult about having an enormous library for free (so far) and ensuring decent captioning at all times? I ask you. Netflix at least get the details right. I suppose having an ocean of money helps.

Give me something fun to do
like a flick with sharks on cue

Now for the good news. Something In The Water isn't half bad,

the evidence from that trailer notwithstanding. The dialogue is surprisingly decent, the cast likeable enough – not necessary, but it helps – and there are a few genuinely moving moments thrown in. So what the ending had my eyes rolling fast as a speeding Selachimorpha, which is the extent of my research.

Meaty review here.

~~~

Today's award for memorable mortality goes to Yvette in Wil.

Heel erg bedankt, ondertitels.

That train in the end. That utterly resigned, almost bored look on her face. No clip, sorry; you'd need to watch the film anyway to really feel it.

Came up in a search for 'Yvette'. Can be summarised as "I'm up here." Is that Doc Brown who arrives on the scene @.58? Indeed it is.

[The Watcher]

I actually did it: took a stand and gave Netflix their walking papers.


Cancel culture

In addition to the dodgy streaming service mentioned above, a few free months of an Apple TV trial will aid my withdrawal from subscription video. I've also belatedly discovered Freevee. Then there's Channel 4oD, and of course YouTube (via the ad-nuking Duck Player), so all told, more than one man can reasonably watch in a lifetime. What do I have to complain about, eh?

The big red N gave me a multiple choice exit interview. Why was I leaving?

[✓] /spits/

[The Watcher]

Thanks Eric.
+ 80s New York - my time - yay!

[The Watcher]

Haven't seen the film, but this was hilarious:

[The Watcher]

https://www.thefp.com/p/kat-rosenfield-how-culture-got-stupid

Like a lot of '90s kids, I had strict rules growing up about what I was allowed to watch on TV—but with a twist. Unlike my friends, whose viewing restrictions were based on things like sex or violence, my mom had a single, esoteric standard: I was not allowed to watch anything “stupid.”

At first I found this bewildering, mostly because the definition of “stupid” seemed impossible to pin down...

[The Watcher]

I've been rewatching Mad Men. As you can see from the comments on YouTube, 'The Crash' is a fan favourite.

[The Watcher]

This is honest food. There is no lying in that beef. There's no insincerity in those potatoes.

Stop! Don't watch the 2007 remake!

Too late.

Though there are a couple of amusing scenes, including him sitting at the kid's table at the wedding in the beginning,



and the end

Spoiler

where he's "stuck" with Eva Longoria

that fuck me made me laugh

[close]

as expected,







about sums it up.

[The Watcher]

I caught The Amateur the other night. When it came to this scene, I was pleased to have made the 'curious sights in London' pilgrimage to the real pool in the sky not long ago. Only thing was, it's made of acrylic, not glass, so wouldn't have sounded like that, right?

If the Sky Pool in London—that transparent, suspended pool made of acrylic between two buildings—cracked and fell apart, it would not sound exactly like traditional glass shattering.

Here’s why:

• The Sky Pool is not made of glass but of acrylic, a type of transparent plastic (specifically, cast acrylic).

• Acrylic breaks differently than glass. When it fails under stress, especially at that scale, the sound would likely be a deep, resonant cracking or popping, possibly followed by a loud, sharp snap as the structure gives way.

• The collapse would also be accompanied by massive splashing and roaring from the water (90 tons of it), which would drown out any “shattering” sound.

If it failed catastrophically, it would probably sound more like a demolition explosion mixed with a flood.

"CRACK–THUD–WHOOSH–SPLASH"

Then again, I realise it wasn't meant to be the pool, so never mind.

[The Watcher]

Watched this again last night. Now I've started on the series. I see Rotten Tomatoes consensus is... not good.

Thanks internet.

Fun fact: Hal was arrested more times than Walt.

This is why you're so addictive.

. . .

A few days later I finished the Sexy Beast prequel. I liked it, though the fan service, while necessary to explain Don Logan's psychopathy, got to be annoying. A little goes a long way, people.

[The Watcher]

Reddit is good for some things.

Best fight in TV history. So many things go into this brutal fight to the death that make it so incredible to watch it unfold before us. The foreshadowing episodes before with Dan exclaiming he will kill that cocksucker, with Al's response "all in good time" a subtle tease from Milch. Then the leadup to the fight creates so much tension. Captain Turner was built up to be terrifying even before we saw Hearst for the first time and he becomes this looming figure - Hearst's primary instrument of imposing his will on the camp. The comparison between Hearst's supreme confidence that Turner will come out on top with Al's reluctance to risk one of his strongest and most loyal assets in Dan sets the scene perfectly.

In Hearst's mind the fight is going to signal the end of the old era and beginning of his, with the top enforcer of Al's regime getting brutally made an example of by his own top enforcer. And why would we doubt Hearst? He has been victorious in everything he's set out to do so far and not had any problems taking the camp over. Despite all his claims, Dan was scared to fight the Captain as any sane man would be. You can see it in his eyes in the buildup, and in the subtle shaking of his hands as he prepares himself with lubricant while Johnny offers to shoot the captain if the fight goes south.

Then the fight itself, so incredible. The director perfectly portrayed how a fight to the death would go in reality. I'm certain they went out of their way to make it as visually displeasing as possible. No fancy choreographic dance or ambitious cinematography we are used to in modern media, just two giant beefy men throwing their mass at each other the same way two bull elephants would go at it. The grappling, close-range camera angles and short punches as each man tries to get ontop of the other however they can. The heavy breathing and grunting as both men have been reduced to two animals fighting for the pleasure of their masters.

While each take turns with the upper hand at the beginning it becomes clear that Captain Turner is dominating as the fight progresses. We get this sense that Hearst is going to continue bulldozing everything we've watched Al and the camp develop over the past 2 and a half seasons. We watch as the fight slips away from Dan and the Captain has him in a position to finish him off and drown him in that puddle of horse shit & piss, an unceremonious end to Dan and Al's position as camp leader. He looks up to Hearst for that nod of confirmation that he can finish the fight - but it never comes. The extreme and brutal violence is not enough for Greedy George Hearst, just as he can never have enough gold and never have enough power.

It's this lack of a nod resulting from Hearst's hubris that lets Dan get back into the fight and leads to Captain Turner's squinty little eye ending up in the same puddle of horse-shit he was ready to drown Dan in mere moments before. It's that same subtle nod of approval that Al gives to Dan, condemning the Captain to death and losing Hearst his most valuable underling in the camp.

Even the very finish of the fight is unceremonious and brutal. Dan gives no victorious speech, no celebratory moment. Just executes his opponent in an ugly fashion with a muddy log while blood, mud, bile and horse shit drips from every inch of his body.

This was the first time we saw Hearst lose in any manner, and bloody hell Milch made the viewer earn it! Greatest fight in TV history in the greatest show in TV history! And those who doubt me? Suck cock by choice.