Here there be sea serpents

[sam]

Today's mission: the Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology, and the Grant Museum of Zoology, both part of University College London.


You are where?


A fire extinguisher is probably better protection than a sphynx


OMG, I forgot to go to Tripadvisor first. This must be how Victorian explorers felt.


Speaking of Victorian.
Seriously, I'm fine with old fashioned, pile 'em high displays of artefacts. Still mourn the pre-revamped Room 33 at the British Museum.


If Richard Francis Burton had had one of these, his researches into erotica would’ve gone much faster


Somebody throw a doily over them, quick. (I didn't go looking for this, I just followed the groove in the floor.)


"This is going in my Tripadvisor review."


Instructions for making a Nile cruiser


Lid doesn’t fit the jar? That’s some sloppy work, people.


When a good fashion idea came along, both hatmakers and architects scrambled for it


Has puzzled caption writers for millennia


You look green, this should settle your stomach


Captured for all eternity: that first date


Going to grandma's meant dusting her shabti collection


and she always knew when you broke something


Hearing aide


You have to be in it to win it


If only I’d married my brother, rather than the boy next door, I could’ve ended up in a pyramid instead


Is there anything else I can get you before I return to my fantasy slave girl duties?


Before cat videos


The gift that says you cared enough to plunder a grave

[sam]

Have you seen my dog?


The last thing the caveman saw before his caveneighbour said "He just wants to play."


Drifters always have shifty eyes, but first they had to evolve them


If you don't mind getting wet, there's a jellyfish I'd like to introduce you to


Never go rummaging in the back of grandma's preserves cupboard


You can tell you're adopted because you're always the first to end up in a jar of formaldehyde


Young Steven’s request for a raise in his allowance was “to improve production values”


Their eyes met across a crowded ribcage


Why it's not always a good idea to have a look outside the pouch


You'd look scary to him too if you were standing on your head


When the recipe calls for these, you know you’re in for an enchanting meal


Finger lickin’ grub


The next time the kids want to go to the zoo, tell ‘em to look at their thumbs


Elevator going down?


Here there be sea serpents


Sure, I'll take your survey


#10 - It made me feel alive


If you’re not distracted by sea serpents smaller than your thumb, they’re doing something wrong


Not always very good ones



They forgot to ask if the museum blew my mind

[sam]

Bonus round: the nearby Wellcome Collection, "for the incurably curious"


There was renewed interest when it was discovered her last will and testament included a treasure map


Doctors learn if you've got a piece left over, you've done something wrong



How great thou art: hymn, or pillow talk?



A cigar may just be a cigar, but kiwi is presumed kinky until proven otherwise


Somebody was master of your domain, but it sure as hell wasn’t you


Like bear traps for the little bear. Or whatever you’re calling it.


The Christmas present that says "Open mine first"
Alternate caption: Some things are exactly what they look like under the wrapping


How obstetricians get in the mood


The seance was going remarkably well

Smoke and Mirrors: The Psychology of Magic

Suddenly realising the key he'd regurgitated opened his date's chastity belt for after the show


A second line of defense in case the bear traps don't work


If you feel a hand in your pocket, it's probably not the devil's


Proof that even the spirit world is not immune to selfies


I could show you how that trick works but then I'd have to saw you in half


You cannot be serious


Card shark by night, card peacock by day