My contribution to the London Olympics is to recognise and act on the true spirit of the modern olympiad. It is wonderful that in these troubled economic times we can generate such a huge platform for commercial interests. The humanitarian aspect is expected to be as strong as ever as economic asylum will be granted to athletes from a bankrupt eurozone.
This will undoubtedly lead to even more overcrowding of our septic isle by a wave of new immigrants. Unlike previous immigrant waves there is a likelihood of many being Mexican (the waves not the immigrants).
My contribution is to create a little extra space by vacating the country for three months. I know the games does not last that long but I want to be sure it is completely over before I return. I would not want to get back and find a crowd waiting for a late marathon runner (realistically dressed as an APC (armoured Personel Carrier)) to struggle over the finishing line with several tons of metal.
Like an out-of-season swallow I will fly south for the summer. Various public sector employees will collect bigger pay cheques for doing their jobs 'During the Hardships of the London Olympics'. (Did someone tell the tube drivers they would have to pole vault while driving their trains?) In the meantime I will be 2500 miles away (as the crow flies). My mission is to inspect the sea at various locations. Sometimes under it (by Scuba not submarine); sometimes on top of it (by swimming and kayaking). At other times I will be forced to inspect from a slight distance. This will involve having seafood meals in seaside restaurants. There will be times when I will be forced to do duty watching the sun to make sure it drops down over the horizon on schedule. It will be tough but someone has got to do it.
So, regarding the London Olympics, I would love to take a much closer interest in the hype and advertising and the trials and tribulations and the round-the-clock television recycled highlights. Unfortunately I have other fish to fry or, more correctly, I have to oversee other people frying my other fish.
I hope you all enjoy this wonderful event.
