mm-mm-mm

[Chompsky]

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,
A Being darkly wise, and rudely great

wrote Alexander Pope in heroic couplet a nearly incalculable number of generations before I was born, for as you can see, I am Leporidae, and our family crest is two rabbits getting it on, De duobus, multis. To know me is to love me, or so claim my housemates. Which is nice of them.

Deep self-reflection isn’t one of my recorded behaviours,



but researchers don’t really have a clue what I’m thinking about when I’m sitting in my favourite chair



staring at my other favourite chair.



Hint: I’m not pondering Chomsky’s theory of universal grammar (ug). Chances are I fancy a bite.

(Drone footage needs trimming or at least captions! - Ed.)

If you had a digestive system like mine, you'd be peckish most of the time, too.

Speaking of language, I do have one, and it’s not Lapine, Watership Down being a work of fiction thank Frith, as that's some dark reading. Mostly we're talking body language, with my ears doing the heavy lifting. I also mm-mm-mm. This has been translated variously as “Here I am!”, “I’m happy!”, “Feed me again!” and “What’s going on and why wasn’t I informed?”—or, as one of my favourite movie stars put it, “What’s up, Doc?”



They're all right answers, as far as they go. We rabbits have so much more on our minds, and await a Trekian universal translator for more than small talk.

[Chompsky]

It turns out the drawer under the bed makes a fine digging box

[Chompsky]

[Chompsky]

[Chompsky]

To the woodcarver who is making me this organic flatware:



Clever or worse
I now rehearse
my apology to thee
in vabbity rerse.



Thank you so much,
you’ve made this Dutch blush
when it arrives
I’ll look but not touch.



Wood I do nibble
it’s better than kibble
both are quite good
let us not quibble.

Thus ends my verse
neither verbose nor terse
please accept every word
- signed the innocently chompy woodcarver’s curse.



PS. To be or not to be
said the spoon (and the fork) to me.

[Chompsky]

An email arrived
for little old me
my work was cut out
in stanzas three:



Always a joy to hear my woodware work’s enjoyed
And - though toothsome to some clientele as well -
I’d rather they’d avoid consuming my stirrers

For as sure as your fur is
Black and brown and white

There’s plenty of wild, unwhittled cellulose out there to bite.

Thanks though for the anticipatory ode

Dear techy lagomorph.

Do do me a favour and write again -

When your feeder’s ridden down the road,

Paid the postage overdue on the parcel I’ve packed -

And tell me if, when the treen tumbles out, they slag ‘em orf.

In that pack I sent a nature’s harvest for you to choose chews
When worrying:

I market them as “Bio Anguish Sticks”.

Make sure when you clock your carrot-servers’ chat you hear
What they really say and the words they use!
And do, do tell how you like, or not, the taste of Northern wood.
I’m looking forward to your cogent views

Although I’m more a fan of Piaget than biolinguistics.



My nature, you see,
overwhelms my good manners;
but I’ve given my pledge
sworn on St. George’s banners.

The spoon has arrived!
Or so I have heard.
“Bio Anguish Sticks” -
sounds delish, my word!

Of genetic epistemology
I haven't a clue.
My education stopped
at things I can chew.


Shall I compare thee toothsome unwhittled cellulose? I think not.

[Chompsky]

Are we not all "rounding errors" in the great scheme of things?

[Chompsky]

As the world waits, quite possibly in vain, for a vaccine for you-know-what, vet pharma comes through with a new cocktail to combat the usual nasties for us:

MSD Animal Health has launched Nobivac(r) Myxo-RHD Plus, the first single shot vaccine against the three main infectious diseases in rabbits - Myxomatosis, Rabbit Haemorrhagic Disease (RHD) classic and variant strains (RHDV-1 and 2).

Previously this has required two shots, at least two weeks apart, when one visit to the surgery is plenty stressful as it is. I need to stay healthy for the peaceful overthrow.

Doctor doctor, give me the news
I got a bad case of mm-mm-mm

[Chompsky]

4.30 a.m.
Present myself wide awake if somebody goes to the toilet and doesn’t get back to the bedroom fast enough. Otherwise, hang out behind the couch until the hunger pangs hit, when I head to the hay. Btw, that they shut themselves in the bedroom is a neat reversal of the early days, when I was kept in a pen at night.

6.30
Wonder what took you people so long. Inhale my daily ration of 5g of nuggets. In an hour or so, have my first bowl of greens after willing it to appear from the windowsill nearest the kitchen (correlationcausation), where I’m expressly forbidden.

“It’s dangerous in there,” they say; they forget that danger is my middle name. I’d like to see either of them leaping several times their height onto places they only assess the safety of as they land.

10
After a morning of chomping alternating with brief periods of lying there looking a bit worn out from it all,



retire to the pull-out drawer underneath the bed.

5
Up for another breakfast, then relax near the big glass doors in the living room, one of my favourite spots despite the terrifying birds which patrol the skies.

6ish
Dinner, which is a convention used by them as it’s about when they start making theirs; this is when I have my second bowl of greens for the day.

6-12
Eat, of course, which requires many many trips to the trough. Play: chew approved objects like tissue boxes and have a go at unapproved ones like drapes; maybe do a bunny 500. Explore and chin using my handy scent gland. This constant mapping is necessary to signpost escape routes for use as and when a strange sight [one of them carrying a box might do it] or sound [often the boiler] activates my flight impulse.

Midnight
Retire behind the couch to await developments.

[Chompsky]

My fellow housemates were delighted when the mailman dropped this off:



Being a dual citizen (triple if you count Dutch) has its advantages. Nice of the money printing machine across the pond to send some my way, though the economic impact isn’t going to be rippling back.

Most of my newfound wealth is earmarked for the basics, like this recycled litter.



Personally, all I want is the bag. How do you like my tissue box porch?



Should I give some to charity? MONKEY SHELTER seems like a good cause.



It's only fair to chip in for my board.

take two

Got myself a new ”Boredom Breaker”. Who’s bored? I’ve always got things going on. Here’s my current hole to China New Zealand.



On a recent inspection I discovered that this charger was getting old, so I surprised them with a replacement. £30 seems a bit steep, but it would be churlish to suggest James profiteered his way to being a billionaire.



Another gift. Happy to share.



SNAP

Spoilsport

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