Author Topic: mm-mm-mm


Hail the kale
« Reply #21 on: February 09, 2021 »


Valentine's Day is coming up. This is one way to a bunny's heart.

Life is buffering
« Reply #22 on: February 10, 2021 »


It is true that my housemates, on first espying me in the garden centre,



were so impressed by my unflappability that I was nicknamed “The Zen Master”. To err is human.


A rabbit's days and nights are full of waiting: for food, to play, for someone to notice me down in my little world when they're busy in their big one. I am not zen by choice.


Life has been my teacher – as it will be yours.

My funny valentine
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2021 »

Let my love open the door

Of course you can come in. We keep some doors closed to keep you safe: it's called being cruel to be kind. Cruel because you're such a curious creature in all senses of the word. Kind because the kitchen, for example, is no place for a little scamp. There's too much that can go horribly wrong.

The door in the video, clearly bearing marks of earlier frustrations, is is normally always open. It leads from the hallway to the home office. This is where we all spend most of our time, the two of us at desks, you either in your tray eating or outside of your tray keeping an eye on it.

When you came into our lives you opened a door we never thought existed. Though we both had long ago pets, never before have we been so smitten. Our love for you is vastly disproportionate to your 2kg. You have bent us into shape around you, and I'm not only talking about how often we spend stooped over when we're not already on the floor.

Daily you make us laugh. Very occasionally you strike fear into our hearts. One day you will... I can't even type it. This is a celebration of life, and how every little soul must shine.

You are the exception to our atheism. Our three souls are permanently intertwined.

Just thought you should know.


Hazard pay
« Reply #24 on: February 16, 2021 »

Wondering if he's about to lose that hand


The definition of unceremonious


What fresh hell is this?


The bunnicure begins


Rockette


Remind me again why this is necessary


Extra security to foil the great escape


I haven't suffered enough indignity – you have to weigh me too?

Humbug

  • London's hard-boiled black'n'white sweetie
Re: mm-mm-mm
« Reply #25 on: March 20, 2021 »
Guest post by
Humbug - the radical rabbit
Famous Sk8boarders Ov All Time

Now befor you ask I kno that Sk8boarders is not a propper word but it is easier ter spell innit.

Sk8boardin is a difficult fing fer peeps but it is not as ard fer a rab becos we av a low centre ov gravity. Sum peeps fink that sk8boardin was invented by surfers in the Cally in the time ov Rock n Roll but this is a modern myff. Sk8boarders sumtimes av funny air. There are fousands ov sk8boarders now an we ope you will av manny appy hours wotchin em an praps even go fer it yerself.


1. Giovanni's rabbit

Sk8boardin was invented by a rocket powered rabbit who wos immortalised by the Renaissance artis Giovanni ov the Fountain. Unfruitunately we do not kno the actcherall name ov the rabbit becos it wos not given the credit it wos due. This sk8board ad no steerin in its trucks but becos it wos powered by rocket farts it wos gnarly.

2. Hitler

Annuver fing yer mite not kno is that Hitler had a sk8board. He as bin pictchered on the U-tube pushin little peeps down a slide wiv it but becos that sk8board ad no steerin eiver it wos crap. Praps he should av stuck ter the paintin.

3. Leticia Buffoni

This is a gnarly sk8boarder who is famous fer not skatin in high heels but becos ov advertisements most peeps fink she did, which shows how much progress we av made.

4. Jerry Hsu

This sk8boarder is famous fer his double ender in Enjoi's 'Bag ov Suck'  wot is a video innit. These days a lot ov sk8boarders do gnarly stuff wot is also very technickle but becos lots ov em do it they are not as famous.

5. Sue Hazel

This is an early Inglish verttickle sk8boarder who was named after the second most famous rabbit ov all time which wos Hazel of Watership Down. The most famous rabbit is Bugs Bunny but then he wos not allowed ter av a sk8board which is history's loss.

6. Jeremy

This wos a mate ov my research assistant in Souf East London when she wos little who put the Beano annual on a Jacko skate an bombed a big hill an broke is leg. When she went back ter av annuvver look the hill didn't look big but she still won't let me ear the end ov it so I av put it in ere fer posteriority.


Safety warnin - when yer try too ard not ter fall off it don't work like that. Yer mite feel like a helmet an yer can even put foam down yer trousers.










Spring fever
« Reply #26 on: March 21, 2021 »
Yo Humbug – I have questions!

How can I bunny hop when I can’t hold on to the board? It seems like a move invented by a human.

Which do you think is more difficult, skating or surfing?

Would it be wrong to buy tickets to this show? They know the risks.



Most people watched this video and said Awwww, but shouldn't it have been a teachable moment? After all, if you help a bunny out of a jam, he's free for a day, but if you put him on a skateboard, he'll never be in that jam again.



Finally, welcome to spring. TMI alert: I tend to get a little cavalier with my litter training this time of the year – I just can't help myself! If you keep it under control, how do you manage? I'm thinking biofeedback might be an option.

Humbug

  • London's hard-boiled black'n'white sweetie
Re: mm-mm-mm
« Reply #27 on: March 21, 2021 »
Allo Chompers me old mate!

Fanks fer invitin me ter this forum - my P.A. finks it is very interestin too an she as even dug out sum old bike fings. She did a lot ov cyclerin befor she got back inter the wheely boards but now she as a dorky bike.

Yer questions are very innerestin, an I will do em one by one.

1.
Quote
How can I bunny hop when I can’t hold on to the board? It seems like a move invented by a human.

I do not do the bunny hops wiv the board. I do the body varials an the flyin leaps on ter the board. Humans like ter invent complicatered stuff like that but anyfing like a grab is not my bag really.

2.
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Which do you think is more difficult, skating or surfing?

I ain't never dun any surfin, but I fink surfin is deffo more difficult becos ov the big water. Hazel-rah's mates could do the surfin but only on the inland waterways innit.

3.
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Would it be wrong to buy tickets to this show? They know the risks.



I am not scared ov big bangs or ov the art world, but my research assistant as bin tryin ter get me travel insurance ter get ter Italy fer ages now wivout much joy. Yer av ter fink about the risk ov needin a vet in the middle ov a road trip an all.

4.
Quote
Most people watched this video and said Awwww, but shouldn't it have been a teachable moment? After all, if you help a bunny out of a jam, he's free for a day, but if you put him on a skateboard, he'll never be in that jam again.

That video shows that the rab in question wos innerested in the board innit! Praps the rab'll come back after finkin about it a bit. It is probly better ter start wiv a roll on the flatground.

5.
Quote
Finally, welcome to spring. TMI alert: I tend to get a little cavalier with my litter training this time of the year – I just can't help myself! If you keep it under control, how do you manage? I'm thinking biofeedback might be an option.

The one time I peed on my research assistant she larfed er ead off an I ain't doin that again in a hurry.  I don't always do the pooin in me tray but she as a way of askin wiv tones an rhyvvems in er voice an also she will stick me in a basket fer a bit if she finds me spreadin it about all over - I dunno if that is bio-feedback or wot. I can actcherly do the business in the toilet wiv a basket in it but I av ter be incentervised fer that. Anyhow I mite deal wiv that subjec annuvver time.

I see you av already bin down Souf Bank which is nice. I ope yer don't mind me askin but where did yer get that deck? It as got no concave, if yer kno wot I mean.

Re: mm-mm-mm
« Reply #28 on: March 23, 2021 »
Dear Humbug,

Your ideas interest me very much. Would you consider writing about about cycling too? I would like to read your views on more sustainable transport for the 21st century from a low-centre-of-gravity perspective.

Humbug

  • London's hard-boiled black'n'white sweetie
Re: mm-mm-mm
« Reply #29 on: March 23, 2021 »
Well Richard - it is Richard innit?

I am very appy that you av come back from the dead ter talk about this subjec but I will not presume ter  write about cyclerin as I am not an eggspert.

Owever it as made me fink about all kinds ov stuff an I fink I mite be writin annuvver blog very soon.