Author Topic: It wasn't cinematic

sam

We reach, Mr Spock
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2017 »
I haven’t watched a lot of the original Star Trek because there’s too much good bad stuff to get through first, but I made an exception for The Way To Eden, after seeing a picture of Spock jamming with a woman on what at first glance appeared to be a small bicycle wheel.

We begin the episode with a doomed ship on the viewscreen. We can tell it’s doomed due to patented redshirt technology.



Scotty beams the curious hippy lifeforms to safety.



Spock speaks hippy.



One of them, Irina, is a former Academy classmate / love interest of Chekov’s. Kirk can relate.



Their swami, apparently of Ferengi heritage, wants to lead them to Eden. He’s thrown in the brig.



The rest of them are given the run of the place. Along with their insouciance, they bring music. Here we get our first good look at the bike wheel harp (deep section rims are for squares, man). Is that a truing stand?



Lead singer Adam admires Spock’s Fender Stratocaster.



Meanwhile Chekov considers his options. Is Starfleet really worth the severe constraints on his libido? (Kirk usually gets first shot. Rank hath its privileges.)



Little do they know, all Enterprise CCTV footage is piped to the captain's private ready room.



Adam warms up. The gigs are so few and far between out here among the stars.



Later everyone in the quadrant will claim they were there, like Woodstock.



The music is thoughtfully broadcast over the intercom. Scotty grumbles that the captain never allows him to play his bagpipes. A lewd rejoinder is left on the cutting room floor.



Deep within his logical mind, Spock knows that chicks dig musicians. He does a set, secretly hoping it goes viral.



Bones stays on call for bad trips, and re-inventories his stock of the morning after pill. He also discretely handles cases of the clap: "Gonna crack my knuckles and jump for joy! Got a clean bill of health from Dr McCoy."



Thinks: if only I'd dropped out of guard school and joined that boy band. Little does he know he’s about to be subdued by a hippy who took a course in Vulcan nerve pinches so the swami can escape and they can commandeer the ship using flower power.



After the concert the hippies make their play, which involves cruel torture that I'm surprised network censors let through.



Anyway, they end up on Eden, which promptly kills Adam ("Even the grass was full of acid"), shattering their dreams.



Irina returns to the Enterprise. She tells Spock that his harp touched her like no other man could, and asks for his personal stamp of approval to start a fan club. The captain's voice suddenly booms over the intercom, summoning her to his ready room. Checkov remains stoic.



The End

sam

Easy as falling off a bike
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2018 »


As am I. Shall we begin?



Meet Chase, who's had a wonderful time getting to know curious Jo. Texting is the new smoking.



A lateral move on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. OR NOT.



You don't say. Well, this episode of Easy is called Vegan Cinderella. Chase is so eager for that slipper to fit that she forsakes one of the basic food groups –



sorry, premature denouement.

Can you cycle in those slippers, Chase? For the hat trick, or close enough. (Hang that hat on season two’s Side Hustle.)

After an establishing shot



in which the attentive viewer will note that Jo rides a fixie, naturally,



the way is paved for Chase’s conversion,



so we get to visit the LBS:







Blame Maslow.



Chase decides some street cred, or rather crud, is in order



and she's on her merry way.



IM SUICIDAL LOL



Oops, how did that >throwback alert> slide get in there? She ain’t easy, she's his sister.

Back to our love story, Chase inevitably cracks under the strain of a pepperoni-less existence, removing all mystery about what comes out of her mouth. Don't click on the following pic.



Spoiler: happy ending!




sam

Baker's dozen
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2018 »
This post might be triggering for those who have unbearable nostalgia for anachronistic media.



Oh, Netflix. Only you could make it so easy to binge on teen suicide.

Although I like the device of the cassette tapes, that a small shop set aside valuable shelf space for them strained credulity. No wonder the Bakers were having so much trouble competing with Walplex.



Thanks for the advice, handsome mystery guy.



And mom.



I think he can pull it off.



But my mom said… oh never mind.



This objectification is getting out of hand.



As a matter of fact –









Lots of stupid bike things, as it happens. Let's just say Clay gives riding with earphones a bad name.



You need an airbag helmet.



Also glasses, by the looks of it.

sam

It's not about the bike
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2018 »


If by do something you mean collect more screenshots, then yeah.



There's always funny in the banana stand.



A sure sign you're a serious cyclist: you spotted the suicide levers before noticing the chair.



It's hard to say which Bluth brother is my favourite. Buster is definitely in the top three.

Speaking of arrested development...



The one where the friends still have the maturity of teenagers.



A whole props shop!



Schwinner will direct a bikey episide. I haven't gotten around to watching it yet; there's only so much being stuck in 2nd gear I can take.



Anne Hathaway on her fashion accessory in The Intern. At least she didn't take a wrong turn down an elevator shaft or something.



Here she is in One Day. Warning: escena la muerte de Emma.



Jessica Jones, I really can't see you on a bicycle. Maybe a motorcycle, if you start driving. You can borrow Catwoman's while your Harley is in the shop. As if.



Thomas Jane makes a habit of knocking on heaven’s door in The Expanse.
That he married a replicant’s daughter comes as no surprise.



Wouldn't a Brompton be more likely on a cramped space station?



The Stand: a future almost tailor made for cyclists. Nick and M-O-O-N-spells-Tom hitch a ride.



Acolyte to Mother Abagail, or The Walkin' Dude NOT THAT ONE? You decide.