Author Topic: CycleChăt

« on: January 20, 2020 »
Signs we’re living in the future: The calendar.

on edit: and now corona.


« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2020 »

Enjoy listening to music whilst riding ticks all the boxes:
□ Half apologetic admission
□ It’s OK if you only use one earphone
□ Self-preservation
□ Need all your senses
□ Ah, the music of the bike
□ The bone conduction loophole
□ Birdsong

There's an art to life's distractions


Some disassembly required
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2020 »
Things You've Learnt From Fettling is useful, which it’s fair to say is not in our mission statement here at NACF. The proverb

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it

was destined to make an appearance or two. Or three. If what's broke isn't obvious, it becomes almost a metaphysical question. This was particularly poignant:

Having nearly always built up my bikes myself, I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the new, complete bike. I have an urge to take it to bits and re-assemble it just to reassure myself.

I'm not sure that's entirely about the bike.


Clever mike
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2020 »
This Super-light road bike looks as if it could've been made on a 3D printer, from composited drool. That my first thought was "Why all those unnecessary weighty gears?" was a reminder that my entirely singlespeed stable makes me something of an outlier.

After riding the fixed, it's always pleasant to go with gears & a freewheel. Mind you, after gears & a freewheel, I always find fixed to be a pleasant change.

It's starting to look like I'm stalking Ian H.


Blues Brother
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2020 »
Beer? Raise one to Belushi, born 71 years ago(!) today.


Ride in colours
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2020 »
This selection from Aboard the Bike reprinted with the permission of Roff Smith.


Ride in colours, part II
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2020 »
What makes you most happy about your bike? There's a question inside the question, but I'll refrain from analysis and simply express my admiration for anyone who offers up their frame for a paint job, points to the Pantone chart, and says “I'll have that.”


Brexit (You’re a Fine Mess)
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2020 »
Sung to the tune of

There’s a man voted to remain
But the country didn’t vote that way
And so he drinks to forget that day
It will not go away.

He sheds a tear for what might have been
If all the fools had only listened*
They could’ve stayed, stayed in
The EU’s warm embrace.

Boris said “Brexit, oven-ready (oven ready)
“What a good deal it will be” (it will be)
“Each night I thank my majority.”**

*prosody in action
**pushing it?


« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2020 »
Changing the nature of a book by changing its title by *one letter*

Henesis - The chicken came first
Exobus - The Children of israel hail a number 29 to get around the Red Sea
Beviticus - The 10 commandments of drinking
Humbers - The story of the little-known North Sea branch of the Hebrews
Neuteronomy - The invention of a third grammatical gender removes sexism from the world for ever

That's the Pentatouch* covered. Selected books from the New Testament:

Fatthew - The first diet book: a bloody one, as it recommended just cutting it off with a terrible swift sword
Bark - Man's best friend would like a word
Nuke - God threatens to take back His promise and His rainbows and push the button
Cohn - Roy Cohn offers up communists to Pontius Pilate
Ects - Ancient misspelling of "etc."
Womans - Empowering chick lit: no Madonnas or whores here

Mary struggles to be contrary

Cor!nthians - Book of surprises
Thespalonians - Paul watches a bad production of Grease and writes a critical letter to the director
Yebrews - Pub crawl through the otherwise dry desert
Japes - Jesus' brother James loved to play practical jokes, trying his patience
Dude - For there lived in the land of Canaan a dude, and the dude did abideth
Revelution - A new bike shop opens in the promised land with a bang

* Literally "five touches", a reference to getting your money's worth in Sodom and/or Gomorrah


« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2020 »
A bit of a triumph

Adam B
Adrian C
Andrew Br
Andrew By
Andrew F
Andrew H
Andrij B
Anna D
Anne H
Anne M
Arthur C
Bruce R
Carl P1
Charles E
Charlie B
Charlie J
Charlie M
Chris B
Chris S
Chris W
Claudine C
Clive B
Clive P
Dan P
Daniel A
Dave F
Dave J
David C
David H
David P
Davy S
Diana J
Dr John B
Ejaz R
Frank P
Gail G
Gary J
Georgios V
Gordon P
Graham P
Grahame D
Greg S
Howard K
Iain C
Ian At
Jenny M
Jeremy C
John E
John M
John S
John T
Julie G
Kai N
Kim W
Lee T
Mark G
Martin F
Martin T
Martin W
Mary L
Michael A
Mick B
Mick D
Mike E
Mike M
Miranda S
Nick L
Nigel Cri
Olaf S
Peter D
Peter M
Rachel S
Rachel W
Rebecca O
Rob H
Ross C
Sandra S
Selena M
Sig E
Sonia W
Stephen T
Stephen W
Steve R
Steve W
Stuart A
Stuart G
Susana L
Susie F
Tacey L
Thom F
Tim H
Tim O
Titus H
Xi C
(The days of the list)

I am in Brixton Cycles to meet the The Rube 2. I think she looks like a Victorian bathing suit. She is so brassy and red. But my! She’s a smoothy.
We take her to Paris, to Normandy, to Southwold, to Wittering, to Chichester, to Wiltshire, to Spain and to Belgium. She goes on trains and trams and A roads and B roads. She rattles over bridges, under bridges, by canals, by the sea, by the moon. She takes me down a dozen of those sinewy lanes. She listens to stories of Bataville and Princess Margaret. She splits her wheels and gets repaired. Someone washes her down and oils her up and puts 120 into her tyres.
We take her out to meet the kids.
‘oh here’s my Mum and Simon, they go night riding. She’s well fit’

Danke Schoen