Bike shows are held specifically to trigger lust. I take the train to London to see.
First he stole your heart, then he stole your hoops.
To have and to fold. Will you be our witness, Southeastern?
There are two ways in. This way is cheaper.
Seriously, they'll give one of these to anybody.
"Who do you write for?" "The Hoppity Times. All the news that's fit to eat."
Speaking of which, first order of business is lunch, picnic style. The show guide is a useful mat.
How to choose a direction? Clockwise or otherwise, it's still a big maze. Might as well go with whatever catches my eye, then the
next thing, then the
next... I didn’t play pinball as a kid (the heyday was before my time), but I am one now. Oh look:
Anima = the feminine part of a man's personality, in Jungian psychology. At least that's what Google tells me. "Do you mind if I add this to my stable, dear?" /
OUTDATED, SEXIST, STILL TRUE Next time just ask Anima.
At £4750, leaves your wallet/purse considerably lighter too.
This one is for the budgie-conscious, though note that puns are extra.
Guess the tyre pressure, win a wheel.
Wooden bikes? Nak’d? Splinters? Enough said.
"I cannot stress this enough – you don't actually have to ride these naked."
If I were a carpenter...
Keep up the conversational pace and your numbers will never improve.
Where we're going we don't need roads.
How humans eventually would've evolved if we all still rode penny-farthings.
Where are the bloomers? We were promised
bloomers.
When they roll out the pink carpet, they really roll it out.
Could you hurry it up? We've got a shipment of bloomers coming in.
Downhill specialist
False advertising
Food, but not as we know it.
It’s never the wrong weather, it’s the wrong gear.
Trained to sniff out freeloaders.
I have seen the future, and it is fugly.
No!mate
It turns out the bobbles are a feature, not a bug.
A cyclist can change his identity just like Superman. (Kicking myself as I saw someone wearing the Man of Steel's T-shirt but didn’t grab a shot!)
Because being able to hear abuse makes you a better person.
Had enough? There's an app for that.
If you sell it they will come.
Nothing does it for me: I'll stick with N. To paraphrase
Paul Newman, when you've already got a dream bike at home, why risk angina.
Time to go, I understand there are other events afoot.
Literally. I'm doing a lot of walking. At one point I pass a man engaged in a loud monologue with himself. "I'm the most dangerous thing in existence – and I'm just an average man," he declares.
Not everyone can count that high.
A perfect fit for a demo - they should use that in their advertising.
A trip to the city wouldn't be complete without a museum, in this case the National Portrait Gallery. Hello
Mr Life is Sweet.
Poppy – the
very definition of a bloomer.
