Welcome to Adventures in Weirdity, with your host, Lazlo Shunt.
Today's guest is Ignacio da Forbo, founder and manager of the website destruction page, Insolvency.
LS - Signor da Forbo, tell us please about how you thought up the idea of website destruction.
IdF - Thank you for having me here, when I should have been somewhere else. Well, you see, I have always, that is to say, never, been interested in contrast, opposites, antonyms, dvorakonyms too. What we can construction, we can destruction. What we can tin, we tin can. And so on. You get the idea.
LS - Yes! It is quite a catchy, that is to say, fishy, idea at best. Now, tell me, how much do you charge for your services on your page?
IdF - We only take offers of a percentage of a client's profits from their website. If I offer you 10% and you wish to raise it to 15%, we would settle that difference at - what would you guess?
LS - Oh, that's easy - 5%.
IdF - Exactly. The business model is a variation of a Dutch auction, the concept being that we split differences. Or, if you are a barbarian, we split hairs.
LS - Speaking of hair, Signore, I love what you've done to yours since the last time we spoke. That style, a Salvator Mundi, I believe?
IdF - No no no no!!!! It is a Sic transit Gloria.
LS - So sorry. But, it does seem to be running a bit under the studio lights, or walking quickly, one might say. Crawling?
IdF - I was warned when I chose the less expensive cut that it might not hold up under extreme weather conditions. My butcher shall hear of this.
LS - 'Tis true, the cheaper cuts are tough unless prepared properly. Were that a mullet, I would recommend slow baking.
IdF - I say, this might not be the right, or left, time to ask, but -
LS - Yes? Don't be shy, coconut.
IdF - Hahaha! You remember that? Oh, what times those were! But I forgot - oh, yes. Would you like to come over to see my ctenophilic collection? The largest outside Switzerland.
LS - Aha! You sly old devil, you. You are indeed fine of tooth.
IdF - What is that man doing there, or here?
LS - I am afraid our time is down for yesterday. It has been so hideous having you off, Signore. Please leave your microphone at the desk where you deposited your weapons.
Our guest next week on Adventures in Weirdity will be the forensic dentist who examined the teeth of Napoleon Bonaparte during his death on St Helena. Join us then, won't you?