Author Topic: Every day I write the book

Stepping up
« Reply #20 on: June 07, 2020 »

After securing a lucrative deal with Puzzle Palace Press for his memoirs, the veep dutifully writes the most boring book imaginable. Sensing disaster, a ghostwriter is hired to jazz it up. From the blurb:

Vice President Michelangelo Pence, who incidentally shares his birthday with Hitler's father, has penned an explosive autobiography detailing a dream he had in which God told him to personally fire a drone at the Oval office. After a morning of prayer and fasting he pushes the button, resulting in an immediate vacancy which he fills just in time to pardon himself for what is arguably a crime (an indulgence everyone is willing to overlook). His hand warms the swearing-in bible but doesn't burn it, to the relief of a weary nation.

Nobody sensible’s idea of a great leader, the hoosier* then goes on to surprise sane people everywhere with wise and humane policies, a 180° turn which he credits to an omelette he once watched his wife make. Riding a tide of acclamation, he is elected in his own right, ushering in a new Reich but in a good way.

* Knock-knock
Who's there?
A native of Indiana
<warning shot fired>

« Reply #21 on: June 08, 2020 »

Sorry Tim Berners-Lee, maybe next year.

« Reply #22 on: June 09, 2020 »

Scroll up and down for moiré

Show mammy the money
« Reply #23 on: June 10, 2020 »


« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2020 »
I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus.”

Illustrated with touching scenes of family life:

It says here that commoners are people too.

Very funny, but do that again and daddy will bite it off.

Imagine how many heirs you swallowed.

Het achterhuis
« Reply #26 on: June 12, 2020 »

When Titles Fail
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2020 »

Let's try that again

One more time

Whilst researching this book I came across this gem:
“And a girl told me that she had screamed so much whilst watching Friday 13th that she had to be slapped.”

Cabin fever
« Reply #28 on: June 14, 2020 »

Losst and founnd
« Reply #29 on: June 15, 2020 »

It's Erik Erikson's birthday, too