After securing a lucrative deal with Puzzle Palace Press for his memoirs, the veep dutifully writes the most boring book imaginable. Sensing disaster, a ghostwriter is hired to jazz it up. From the blurb:Vice President Michelangelo Pence, who incidentally shares his birthday with Hitler's father, has penned an explosive autobiography detailing a dream he had in which God told him to personally fire a drone at the Oval office. After a morning of prayer and fasting he pushes the button, resulting in an immediate vacancy which he fills just in time to pardon himself for what is arguably a crime (an indulgence everyone is willing to overlook). His hand warms the swearing-in bible but doesn't
burn it, to the relief of a weary nation.
Nobody sensible’s idea of a great leader, the hoosier* then goes on to surprise sane people everywhere with wise and humane policies, a 180° turn which he credits to an omelette he once watched his wife make. Riding a tide of acclamation, he is elected in his own right, ushering in a new Reich but in a good way.
* Knock-knock
Who's there?A native of Indiana
<warning shot fired>
