It’s been 5 months since I last saw London. That’s by far the longest we've been apart. Urban chaos is my forte.
I miss it terribly.
I never get any exercise. Even my
hinges haven’t been given regular free expression of their functionality. Apparently size really does matter.

Tales of mile-eating
Bromptons don’t move him. He says I’m like a flighty little filly, and that neither of us would be happy on the lanes of East Sussex. As if staying folded in on myself in the dusty darkness of the garage, Flymo my nearest companion, was a recipe for contentment.
TWO FOLDERS HANGIN' OUTI’ve taken to fantasizing of life on a canal boat, with shopping trips for wine and a baguette almost as long as me… Being always in the way, but beloved anyway, in the hall of a tiny but fun-filled flat in Brixton… Trips to the park, tumbling into sun-dappled grass... You get the picture.
DON'T MAKE ME SLEEP WITH THE FISHESEven being tucked in the boot of a car would give my life a modicum of meaning.
OH JOY!Given how much he loves museums, it’s fitting that I’ve turned into an artefact of a previous life. Go ahead, call me a drama llama, but who knows when or if my personal lockdown will end.
Aside from those free and easy days

before the behemoth of Bloomsbury got strict about checked luggage (
and pointy things)

I’ve never been inside the great warehouses of time, booty, and art. Just once I'd like to take a spin around the
Great Court; maybe even catch a show.
Scenes at the museum:
The show must go on edition

Take a picture, but it probably won’t last longer
As a girl Mary Anning pressed flowers in books
Just because you don’t take an interest in Darwinism doesn’t mean Darwinism won’t take an interest in you
Evidently the elephant in the room
The elephant was a test
Whale watchers
Freshening up before dinner
Life on Venus for the jaundiced
When Jan’s away, Ibsen will play
What have you done for me lately

They’re on lockdown too
Full disclosure: my photo was so spoiled by reflections I was forced to grab this from the V&A’s site.
The day wasn’t short of portents
”Destitute of every means of defence”? Stuff and nonsense
Ladies’ night at the museum is agenda neutral
The effect of the apology flowers was negated by the choice of vase
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs…
His parties were Bring Your Own
Even The Firm has a take your children to work dayWe also stopped by Hamleys and John Lewis.
Someone threw hers out of the pram
J.K. Rowling has fuck you money to spare
Too young to do alterations
First they came for the cows, and I did not speak outGranted, most of this wasn't about the bike. It seldom is.