Author Topic: Today in history

sam · « **Reply #40 on:** April 29, 2022 »

"I say, would you fancy accompanying me to the bike shop for some accessories?" asked the friendly chap. "Provided I have indeed correctly gendered you. Be on notice that I have designs upon your body and wish eventually to start a family."

Grandma turned her head coquettishly and laughed.

sam · « **Reply #41 on:** May 01, 2022 »

All was going well, until the roundabout
See the lorry fail to stop and nearly take them out.
They lost their appetite for flowers and birds and luncheon;
What they really needed was a copper with a truncheon.
Mother reported the driver to Operation Crackdown
Little brother forbidden to ride unless he wants a smackdown.
The sun will rise again, but happiness has gone away
The innocent joy of cycling died, on a morn in May.

sam · « **Reply #42 on:** June 05, 2022 »

Clark Gable ignored reporter's questions about his handlebars, briefly sparking a craze in an impressionable cycling public which led to many injuries that only ended when authorities appealed for proper handlebar adjustment.

sam · « **Reply #43 on:** July 31, 2022 »

Ben lost his job at the circus because he couldn't learn to ride without stabilisers.

sam · « **Reply #44 on:** August 27, 2022 »

A law was passed requiring cyclists to use a horn to announce their presence at all times, which rapidly made them quite unpopular.

sam · « **Reply #45 on:** March 26, 2023 »

Edward Bellamy was born in 1850.

Although he died before the century was out, he would achieve distinction by writing a best-selling pamphlet, Looking Backward, imploring motorists, still new on the scene, to check for cyclists before opening the door.

sam · « **Reply #46 on:** May 17, 2023 »

"It's veering to the left a little," said the customer when he brought his bike into the shop. This is suitable for 'Today in history' because in my experience bike shop mechanics actually taking the the thing out for a spin is a rarity.

Lauren Bacall · « **Reply #47 on:** September 16, 2023 »

Humphrey Bogart clawed back a few precious minutes of life by getting on his bike rather than putting his lips together and sucking.

weathered man · « **Reply #48 on:** October 03, 2023 »

Doug left band practice on his bike, only to crash on the way home thanks to those suicide levers. Bob Dylan sent him a nice get well soon card.

Heisenberg · « **Reply #49 on:** December 05, 2023 »

Werner was ordered by his superiors to determine if a woman really did need a bicycle like a fish needs a man, a serious translation error that went unnoticed until after the war. It was make-work in retaliation for his genius, it being obvious he was going places whereas they were just clock punchers.

Despite the insult, he set about trying to solve the puzzle in his usual methodical way, writing and discarding hundreds if not thousands of nonsensical (to the layman) formulæ that put him off fish for life.

Fortunately he was transferred and his new boss told him as gently as he could to redirect his energies back to quantum mechanics, whereupon he released his final experiment from the lab into the Munich night.