Today in history

[sam]

Margaret Roberts, research chemist, on her way to work. In her wicker basket is a puppy to be used for experimentation. Later she would marry, change her name, and achieve fame in a different field where her brain, courage, and lack of a heart would come in handy.

[sam]

Space wasn't the first frontier into which nonhumans took that first small step for mankind. For a 'safety bicycle' to be considered truly safe, manufacturers put it through its paces with a test subject sadly considered to be expendable. It was thought wise not to name them. Nevertheless, history records this smartly dressed chimpanzee (proper attire is important for accurate results) as 'Otto'. Otto made one circuit of the track, paused here for posterity, then managed to break free from his handlers. He was later spotted locking his bike outside Selfridges.

[sam]

John Lennon and Yoko Ono brought a bicycle into their relationship. "All we are saying," said Lennon to the ever-present press at the foot of their bed, "is give our ménage à trois a chance." Another exhibition courtesy conceptual artist Ono, or sincere declaration of love for an alternative form of transport in a motoring mad world? "Imagine there are no cars," said Lennon airily. "Except for my Rolls."

[sam]

Christ hopped on his bike to go to a loaves and fishes gig. A nice cruiser for the beach.

The first few times there was astonishment – behold, a miracle! – but now people are more mellow. In fact they've come to expect it. "Leave the loaf at home, Bathsheba, Jesus will pull one out of his sleeve for us." Christ knows this and he's decided to change up. He's going to make them share. Everybody will just have to have small pieces. Really small ones. It'll make a good parable; he's always looking for new material.

[sam]

Take your child to work day early in the last century. The boy will be expected to closely observe his father to develop an appreciation for the family business, pacesetting.

[sam]

Scientists discovered that cyclists really do exchange molecules with their bicycles if they ride them long enough. In an experiment dubbed the Flann O'Brien Protocol, a volunteer had his 'bike cells' removed. The result was horrifying, but survived peer review.

[sam]

The twins were inseperable. Literally, until the operation. Then Anna lost her heart to a cowboy and moved to Wyoming, and Belle fell in love with a daguerreotype of Winston Churchill. (There was precedent.) Alas, perfect happiness eluded them. The cowboy started spending too much time on Brokeback Mountain; Winston proved two-dimensional. Bitter at the shortcomings of men, they reunited and were never seen apart again.

[sam]

Commuter challenges can offer stress relief as an antidote to a hard day at the office; or they can be deadly serious affirmations of manhood. This one started after a passing glance between two gents confirmed that one of them still had an old-fashioned mount. This quickly escalated into a percieved slight with undertones of class divide. Although there was no such divide, there was also little choice but to pursue an honourable resolution of superiority. So intent were they on this glorious pursuit, they didn't even notice they'd left the road. The chap on the right has been captured in the act of opening a generation gap.

[sam]

Catherine Middleton wed Prince William. Later they would produce an heir, George, whose height the Prince is shown here estimating for a bike fitting.



Tomorrow in history
In due course George becomes king, but his real dream is to win the Tour de France. His interest in cycling spurred at a young age, he trains hard with the best coaches and equipment the money with his face on it can buy. In an annus mirabilis he conquers the old enemy to the east.


Unfortunately he then loses his title in a dispute with the UCI over primogeniture. In a fit of pique he sells all his castles and bikes to a syndicate of royal groupies and goes hoboing for a year, surreptitiously tailed by the Royal Train.

[sam]

On a long ago spring bank holiday, a rail replacement bike service caught in action while the line was closed for steam cleaning.