Today in history

[sam]

Residents of a village in Sussex watched open mouthed as a fish slowly pedalled down the high street. (There were several attempts to contact the authorities, dismissed as crank calls.) A few minutes later a man rumoured to conduct strange nocturnal experiments followed on foot looking quite worried. Neither was seen again.

[sam]

"I say, would you fancy accompanying me to the bike shop for some accessories?" asked the friendly chap. "Provided I have indeed correctly gendered you. Be on notice that I have designs upon your body and wish eventually to start a family."

Grandma turned her head coquettishly and laughed.

[sam]

All was going well, until the roundabout
  See the lorry fail to stop and nearly take them out.
They lost their appetite for flowers and birds and luncheon;
   What they really needed was a copper with a truncheon.
Mother reported the driver to Operation Crackdown
  Little brother forbidden to ride unless he wants a smackdown.
The sun will rise again, but happiness has gone away
   The innocent joy of cycling died, on a morn in May.