Star chamber present and accounted for? Just say "yes" for the record. Though we're off the record.
Blaise Pascal, Jean-Paul Sartre, Dorothy Parker, Mary Whitehouse, Seven of Nine, and G.K Chesterton: Yes.
Thank you for coming. I hope that going back to the 90s hasn't been triggering for anyone. You've all signed the waiver for continuity errors. Any questions?
Dorothy Parker: Why the 90s?
I'm feeling nostalgic, and that was a sweet spot for me. Bring in the accused.
[Seven of Nine leaves then comes back with The Man With No Name and his lawyer, Clarence Darrow.]
Man With No Name, you stand accused of [checks notes]
trying my patience. How do you plead?
Clarence Darrow: My client has nothing to say.
That was the problem, wasn't it. Your client had nothing to contribute.
Clarence Darrow: It's no crime. And my client doesn't know why it should be an issue.
Posting is the minimum requirement for ascertaining you have a pulse. Most present company excluded.
Blaise Pascal: On the contrary, Mary is getting
something thrumming. I do enjoy a challenge.
Mary Whitehouse: I doubt you could handle me, old man.
[Chesterton raises an eyebrow]
Clarence, I seem to recall you yourself got the boot back in
Reply #15. Isn't that right, Seven?
Seven of Nine: That is correct. Would you like me to apply "the boot" again?
No, I'm feeling generous. Just not towards his client, who also ignored a simple query from yours truly. Verdict: guilty.
Dorothy Parker: Don't we get a vote?
Sure, as long as you agree with me.
Everyone: Guilty!
[The Man With No Name drops through a trapdoor into the outside world. Clarence, who hasn't been paid, jumps after him.]
G.K. Chesterton: Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
[Humouring Chesterton, who spits these things out from time to time apropos nothing] I'll have maintenance look into it.
Jean-Paul Sartre: Can we leave now? [He makes eyes at Mary, who grabs the doorknob. It comes off in her hand. Pascal grows tumescent.]
Bloody hell. Seven, you've proven to be something of a jack-of-all-trades. Can you fix that?
[Seven of Nine kicks the door down]
Sounds like the 90s out there too.
G.K. Chesterton: The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense.
Blaise Pascal: The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
Dorothy Parker: That's me pulled.
[Chesterton looks startled. Parker grabs Pascal to make herself clear. Beelines are made to the guest bedrooms.]
Seven, have you been doping the climate control with pheromones again?
Seven of Nine: You're the one who told me I needed a hobby.
