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Hey lurkers

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sam:
First of all, sorry about 'lurkers', but it's widely accepted terminology despite the slightly sinister overtones. We all lurk to greater or lesser extent, probably even the Dalai Lama [double-checks there's only one L].



"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink," say the naysayers.



I say: beer appears to be the universal language.


This site may not offer a large nonfictional user base, but we do have a dedicated following (or at least it can’t be proven that we don’t). It's the best of all worlds.

sam:


This will be forwarded to the authorities immediately.

sam:
I don't have any advertisers, but if I did


Not returning my calls for some reason

they'd want to know more about you. Therefore I have prepared the following questionnaire, which a spellchecking nazi has helpfully reminded me has two n's. (I knew that, I was just trying it out.)

What is your household income?
[  ] Depend on crowdfunding for the essentials
[  ] Muddle class
[  ] Oh so comfortable

What is your gender expression?
[  ] Shriek like a girl when surprised
[  ] Dress for comfort and/or easy accessibility
[  ] I like my gametes stirred, not shaken

How often do you visit NACF?
[  ] Give us this day our daily thread
[  ] I save it for the Sabbath and bank holidays
[  ] This was my first time and shall be my last

What attracted you?
[  ] We are the watchers on the wall
[  ] Curious if everything they say about it is true
[  ] You ain't seen me, right?

How long will you be staying with us today?
[  ] Just long enough to keep from tracing my IP address

What other cycling sites do you frequent?
[  ] CycleChat
[  ] Yet Another Cycling Forum
[  ] That other one

How much do you spend annually on bicycle related purchases?
[  ] Enough on parts and spares to build a new bike
[  ] More than food but less than mortgage
[  ] More than food and mortgage combined

Are you a good speller?
[  ] Do typos count?

How do you feel about the demise of royals in general?
[  ] They should be allowed to live out their natural lifespans in the dungeon of a castle of their choosing

Do you have anything to say about multiple choice questionnaires that don't have suitable options?
[  ] Choice is overrated

Shakeſpere:
Top 10 reasons to dislike me
10. 'ACF'. Enough said.
9. My stance on trans issues women's rights. And safeguarding for children. And hate speech censorship.
8. My tendency to link to my own content. (Somebody's got to.)
7. Too many links in general.
6. I go on about my rabbit.

5. Picture overload! Contrary to popular belief, there is such a thing.
4. The extent to which I revel in obscure references and non non sequiturs.
3. My resurrection of the dead.
3b. My resurrection from the dead(ish).*
2. I like to ride no-handed like a big show off.

And the number one reason to dislike me:
1. The fact that I'm a middle-aged man with an overflowing head of hair.



Been there, done this

*Ancient history at YACF, never mind.

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