Author Topic: Your mileage may vary

sam

Your mileage may vary
« on: August 01, 2021 »
Spoiler
I thought I was getting a well made bike with a lifetime warranty from a company I could trust.

Wrong on all counts.
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MY STRUGGLE


If we had a profanity filter, En*gma would be in it.


Should've got an Endurance

sam

Location shots
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2021 »
Blair Witch Project




Hang 'Em High


Lacking good stout rope, I settled for bungee cord. You try throwing bungee cord over a branch. Had to climb the tree. That's about as high as I could get without breaking my neck. On reflection I should've hung it by the headtube.

Nice working with you, Clint. You were unforgettable in Unforgiven.

Brokebottombracket Mountain


Three Coins in the Fountain


On the Beach

sam

Away in a manger
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2021 »
The props department didn't have anything Christmassy(!)


There's always room in the bike shed

The space heater represents Mary and the warmth of her love. Joseph is the snowman, as it could be cold in the bedroom being married to a virgin. The cow and owl doorstops, and rabbit (battery operated, it runs through a cycle of colours), were the only witnesses I could rustle up. The owl is standing in for the three wise men. The famously fecund bunny is the ideal symbol of birth. And the cow is like "Holy cow!"

I could've done a location shot, but that would've been sacrilegious, right?


Right.
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sam

Boxing Day
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2021 »

Edsel

  • special ghost appearance
En*gma
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2022 »
This gallery exists because I have nothing better to do with the frame. Here's a reminder:



Next is the view from astern. The lower weld was an earlier repair.



Deaddropout Gorge, yet another prequel:




sam

Folly of follies, all is folly
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2022 »
The two major historical presences where I live in East Sussex are Rudyard Kipling, village poet


Roses are red, violets are blue, titanium is sweet, 'til it cracks through

who's always happy to help with photo ops, and "Mad" Jack Fuller. Here's a short intro to Jack as we embark on a tour of his follies:




We'll start with this 65' skyscratcher, aka The Needle.


a matter of perspective
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It's on private land, but on one of my rides I stopped by and got permission from the landowner for a closer look. This involved climbing a couple of gates and shouldering my Litespeed (unfortunately I can’t always have the Enigma on hand when opportunity presents!) for a tramp across the field. You'd better believe it was coming with me.



Closer.



A lot closer.



Commemoration of victories by Nelson and/or Wellington? Priapic trophy celebrating a more personal conquest? There's no inscription or record, so nobody knows for sure.

Proceeding clockwise we come to the wall, and indeed it may feel like you're hitting it after a day winching yourself up the hills the Weald has to offer. This isn't a folly, but I've included it because at 4 miles it's by far the largest of the works the squire wrought upon the landscape. Don't know how much of it is left. This bit is certainly crumbly.



The pyramid in St Thomas a Becket churchyard gets most of the press.



Word is that Jack is "sitting inside at a table, roast chicken in front of him, a bottle of vintage claret to his right hand."



However, I can confirm that there is no sign of a banquet in progress.


Whole lotta nothing. But wait…


Josie Dew, what are you doing in there?
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Next let's head to a nearby stand of trees



where a tower grows.



Once upon a time you could climb up in it, but Elf & Safety put paid to that a while ago. Some say it was used by workmen to signal



for materials for repairs on his Bodiam Castle bachelor pad, about 7 miles east.



Basically, the man had no shortage of towers. Take a short trip to the castle by clicking

HERE
Bodiam belongs to the National Trust. This presented a problem, as one cannot enter the property without an outlay of funds I was unwilling to part with for such a quick visit, or a magic membership card (I gave mine up when Covid came calling and haven’t yet renewed).



It's not like they have guards at the entrance to the grounds, but waltzing in with a bike frame wasn't exactly inconspicuous. I had just about contented myself with this



when I bumped into an employee on his way through a locked gate. After a friendly chat he granted me entry for my mission.


Waiting its turn

I stopped by the pillbox on my way out – thankfully no longer manned to deter cheapskates –


Deceptively spacious


Locked and loaded

then took a stroll to the nearby heritage railway station, which the peeps on TripAdvisor seem to rate.



All in all it was a splendid afternoon.
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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a rotunda.



If you'd like to to swoop around until you're dizzy, this video should do the trick:


Jack probably used it for parties and such.


Englargements available, as is Tony Soprano's robe

Almost forgot this:



Here's the Sugar Loaf, so-called because we love anachronisms. Clearly it should be the Traffic Cone.



Jack being the sort to get into wagers, and with disposable income to burn, this is said to have been built after he claimed he could see the spire of St Giles in Dallington from his estate. Well, he could now (though one can't imagine him shinnying his way up, and what looks like a bricked in window doesn't seem high enough and is inconveniently pointed the wrong direction. The moral may be, don't take these stories too seriously.)

A family later took up residence; I don't think it was their getaway pad from the high life in London. It also made a cozy machine gun nest in WWII.


The church in question


Saint with selfie of favourite deer

image not safe for the pious or anyone with good taste
"As Giles was celebrating Mass to pardon the Emperor Charlemagne's sins, an angel deposited upon the altar a letter outlining a sin so terrible Charlemagne had never dared confess it."

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One more of the Sugar Loaf in all its forced perspective glory. Make it touch the sky, I imagine Jack saying.



On to Brightling Observatory. This engraving



was based on a watercolour by Turner, someone Fuller commissioned from time to time. You could squint at that, but there's really no need.



It was equipped with telescope



and camera obscura.



We've now come full circle back to The Needle,



so until I get around to finding Jack's summer house, this brings us to the end of the follies tour, except for fulfilling a request on one of the forums where I posted many of these pictures...

sam

Gallery
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2022 »
Quote from: some guy
Please could we have one of a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside the Enigma?

1. The riddle
With 158,962,555,217,826,360,000 different riddles to choose from, more or less, I grabbed the first that popped up on Google: "I wear a rosy hat but have no head; I'm sharp but have no brain. I can say anything, but will never speak a word."

Spoiler: a pencil.

2. The mystery
I've got a lot of books,



but no mysteries for some reason. Or at least none to be found in the time allotted to this task; there are probably some serving as loft insulation. Employing a bit of creative problem solving, I came up with this,



A common shortlist, for the record:
• Putting the date before the month
• Taps with different temperatures
• Washing machines in the kitchen
• Calling the bathroom the toilet
• No screens to keep the bugs out
• Adding seemingly random u's to words
• Cricket

That the quote came from Churchill, whose mom hailed from across the pond, was a nice coincidence.

3. Enigma
There are by my count three ways to get something inside this bike: the head tube, the bottom bracket, and within the bounds of the diamond frame itself.


(It seems nobody has been daft enough to attempt to hula hoop using a bike frame and upload it to YouTube. Pity.)

The bottom bracket is currently taken as I can't budge the thing, and do not wish to add to the damage that fate has already introduced. I decided on the head tube to fulfil the request.



Zooming in for fine detail:



How about a riddle to wrap this up?

I point to the sky,
and hold an odd guy
who liked to build follies
because he could, that's why.
What am I?



sam

Gallery
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2022 »


A frame in a frame shop: what could be more fitting.



Speaking of altered images, with a small number of very obvious exceptions


The horror

I've been keeping it real. I'd much rather source a genuine horse, for example,



than photoshop one in. Besides, I'm just not that good.


It's an art

That out of the way, the tour continues. To no place in particular.


What, you mean everybody doesn't have a rabbit in their office?


Seeking permission to wee on it


It's polite to focus


Ti isn't everybody's cup of tea


The potholes around here are enough


to give your heart a jolt


Perhaps it's time to make alternative transport arrangements


This could be the one that wins me the Turner


One of these, just not that one. (That only had 43 views. I like to help people out.)


Hotline to the heart, i.e., another defibrillator. We're well provisioned for cardiac events around here.






Sometimes I go for long walks to clear my head


That can't be good


Am I the only one assembled then?


What's the emergency?

sam

Gallery
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2022 »

sam

Gallery
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2022 »


For those who have been holding out for the astronomical starting pistil, spring has officially sprung, which is nice, but I would prefer if we just chose a day and stuck with it.