Author Topic: Walking the cows


Walking the cows
« on: September 22, 2022 »
I was on a ride last Sunday when my cranks started creaking madly. It turned out this was their way of telling me they were rather loose. (I'm not naming names, but some fool hadn't tightened them after switching them over from his other bike.) Not being in immediate possession of a suitably large hex key, I called my wife's taxi service.

When she arrived I removed the package shelf from the hatchback and set it on the roof to make room for the bike. Then we drove off. Today – Thursday – I realised the shelf was missing, i.e., it was no longer on the roof of the car. Go figure.

It wasn't at the scene of the pickup, either, as I discovered a breathless 10 minutes later. This is the entrance to a farm. I walked up the drive until I met a bunch of cows, who weren't talking. I saw three guys on the other side of them and willed at least one of them to make his way through the herd. This he finally did, and he was exactly the right guy: after listening to my tale of woe (he's the one who told me that thing is called a 'package shelf' as I struggled to describe it), he said he'd spotted it in a ditch down the road while walking the cows.

Everyone knows it's called a package shelf

Sure enough, it was in the ditch. It was so far down that I never would've seen it unless perhaps I was walking a cow of my own and preternaturally observant of every nook and cranny of the earth. It looked fine; the fact that there hadn't been rain helped. (It would rain plenty the next day.)

The moral of the story: tighten your cranks.