Author Topic: Today in history

sam · « **Reply #40 on:** April 27, 2022 »

Residents of a village in Sussex watched open mouthed as a fish slowly pedalled down the high street. (There were several attempts to contact the authorities, dismissed as crank calls.) A few minutes later a man rumoured to conduct strange nocturnal experiments followed on foot looking quite worried. Neither was seen again.

sam · « **Reply #41 on:** April 29, 2022 »

"I say, would you fancy accompanying me to the bike shop for some accessories?" asked the friendly chap. "Provided I have indeed correctly gendered you. Be on notice that I have designs upon your body and wish eventually to start a family."

Grandma turned her head coquettishly and laughed.

sam · « **Reply #42 on:** May 01, 2022 »

All was going well, until the roundabout
See the lorry fail to stop and nearly take them out.
They lost their appetite for flowers and birds and luncheon;
What they really needed was a copper with a truncheon.
Mother reported the driver to Operation Crackdown
Little brother forbidden to ride unless he wants a smackdown.
The sun will rise again, but happiness has gone away
The innocent joy of cycling died, on a morn in May.

sam · « **Reply #43 on:** June 05, 2022 »

Clark Gable ignored reporter's questions about his handlebars, briefly sparking a craze in an impressionable cycling public which led to many injuries that only ended when authorities appealed for proper handlebar adjustment.

sam · « **Reply #44 on:** July 31, 2022 »

Ben lost his job at the circus because he couldn't learn to ride without stabilisers.

sam · « **Reply #45 on:** August 27, 2022 »

A law was passed requiring cyclists to use a horn to announce their presence at all times, which rapidly made them quite unpopular.

sam · « **Reply #46 on:** March 26, 2023 »

Edward Bellamy was born in 1850.

Although he died before the century was out, he would achieve distinction by writing a best-selling pamphlet, Looking Backward, imploring motorists, still new on the scene, to check for cyclists before opening the door.

sam · « **Reply #47 on:** April 01, 2023 »

Apple computer was founded in 1976 by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.

In a disappointing showing, I didn't turn this into an April Fools' post.

Lauren Bacall · « **Reply #48 on:** September 16, 2023 »

Humphrey Bogart clawed back a few precious minutes of life by getting on his bike rather than putting his lips together and sucking.

weathered man · « **Reply #49 on:** October 03, 2023 »

Doug left band practice on his bike, only to crash on the way home thanks to those suicide levers. Bob Dylan sent him a nice get well soon card.