Crosspost of
I'm American, ask me anything.Do you think you can represent usanians?
For the purposes of this thread, which is to inform and entertain, sure.
In Robert Heinlein's
Have Spacesuit – Will Travel, the protagonist Kip stands on trial for not just the US of A, but all mankind. I recently watched
Mr Earth, where a man is chosen at random for a similar test and passes, somehow having not killed the aliens who sit in judgement through the sheer force of his earnestness. It's a popular trope, and in the same spirit I offer myself as sacrificial American.
On my first visit to the UK in '84, my older sister, stationed at RAF Mildenhall (which primarily supports United States Air Force operations), dropped me in Cambridge. I wandered the streets, without a clue or plans for the evening. Fell into conversation with a woman who must have picked up on this. She invited me home to her family, putting me up in the spare room.
That night the family entertainment was
Raiders of the Lost Ark, and me, possibly not in that order.
[M]y mother is usanian, she lives in MA and my sister in TX. I don't know that they could be representative of usanians any more than I can give insight into the thinking of Europeans.
You didn't say where your sister lives in TX. If it's Austin, a liberal enclave and not just Lance Armstrong's playground, that's a different kettle of fish from the rest of that massive state.
I'm less familiar with Massachusetts, its only personal significance spelling bee fodder and honeymoon destination (Boston '91). (We were betrothed as infants.)
Just taking Ohio, where I'm from – a very frequent question from those I meet! – there's a big difference between the flat northwestern part of the state where I grew up, and the hilly southern area where my father did, though the sense of dislocation will likely be far less pronounced these days (and offhand I couldn't say how much topography has to do with it). Similarly, once upon a time, a New Yorker landing in the Deep South would've been as
Kip amongst the Vegans.
It is absolutely impossible to pick a representative American from the 330,000,000+, but I'm sad to report the most likely candidate we have at the moment is that amalgamation of the ugly American, Donald Trump: I truly believe that we as a nation get the presidents we deserve. Also applies to Biden.
In your opinion, are most white Americans racist (against African Americans)?
Most? No, not even close. Many? Yes, enough that racism is endemic. It is the original stain on We The People, starting with the ethnic cleansing that came with manifest destiny.
Can you use a knife and fork at the same time to eat?
God I hope the rest are this easy.
No.
It's like that thing where some people can
roll their tongue and others can't. (I can.)
In fact, I never use a knife when eating; if necessary, I use the edge of the fork. It helps that I'm vegetarian.
Did/do you have an accent?
You tell me:
"of America," is how it was supposed to end. Don't know what happened there. iMovie is definitely not my forte. Recorded into my phone at 2.00 a.m. in the kitchen, followed by a quick WTF session with the software. Incidentally, we've recently acquired audio of my wife singing "What A Wonderful World" when she was 10 years old. I'll upload it later, if she lets me.
PS. Once more,
with feeling.It's something I've noticed about Americans - they do tend to load up both a fork and knife to shovel food into their mouths.
I actually would've said that about the British, having not observed it till moving here! IME we cut our food then lay the knife down. Searching my memory back to when I was a carnivore and lived in the homeland, I probably did use a knife when necessary, but it wasn't usually necessary, not being a big steak eater, for example.
My wife grew up in Sri Lanka and figures you folks* would call her a savage; they ate with their fingers, to properly mix the curry.
*Whenever I use the word 'folks', I'm acutely aware it's something Americans say a lot.
All will be answered. For future reference, ETA [Estimated Time of Answer] will vary based on a mysterious trigger point informed by editorial instinct, i.e., a movable deadline.
A selection of hold music follows, specially curated to give that unique flavor of Americana.
Vax AmericanaFor your viewing pleasure, I highly recommend
DuckDuckGo to nuke the ads (unless you feel guilty depriving Google of revenue).
We'll now head west like the pioneers, then fly back east.
Damn compass, that's south.
(→
Here's some music ← from an actual satellite called Georgia.)
[Checks map] that's south again.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Which means if you get married there, it's automatically annulled when you leave the city limits.
But it's
so grey!
Why are cows?
There are a number of theories of why cows are. From the literature:
1. McDonald's. Clearly the result of corporate interests infiltrating academia and the think tanks that churn out food for thought.
2. De-evolution. Started as cowsaurus. Spent millennia at the apex of the food chain. Then asteroid went BOOM. The Burgess Shale provides a few tantalising clues.
3. Karma. The souls of politicians have to migrate
somewhere.
Do you know Margret?
I only know that whoever gets named it is going to spend the rest of her life correcting people.
According to
The BUMP:There is a new pearl in your family oyster bed. Margret is a beautiful girl’s name of Greek origin. A respelling of the popular name Margaret, this option may have one less letter, but it has no less shine! Notable namesakes include Curious George writer and illustrator Margret Elizabeth Rey...
Should we call you Uncle, Sam?
By all means, if you're one of my nieces or nephews. Otherwise, user discretion advised.
Did Reagan and Thatcher ever "hit it off"?
They were once spotted "dogging" on the White House lawn:
As someone who listens to a fair amount of USanian music of the more eclectic sort I am sad to see that your selection doesn't include any bluegrass, western swing, zydeco, tex-mex, blues or jazz.
I'd answer that, but as it's not a question phrased in the form of a question, my hands are tied. Happy to play you some bluegrass though:
Spoiler
That's a trick clicky.
Before you left your home state, and/or before you left the US, did you consider that you had accent?
No. I knew this because I sounded boring to myself, whereas people from other places sounded interesting. (The British have made entire industries out of this.) Everyone is aware of the southern accent, for example, and to a lesser extent,
New Englander and others. But Ohio? Even in this video specifically billed as being about our accent, note that he never got around to describing one. Because
it doesn't exist.*
*It does exist. If you don't have a map handy, Michigan sits on top of Ohio. Apparently we both speak with "
a wide open mouth":
So that explains all the flies I catch.
Do you like tea?
Sorry, forgot to answer this one from before.
No.
If yes, what type, and how do you make it?
As it happens, you can not like tea and still make it. My wife, as mentioned from Sarandīb, has tea in her DNA. I have therefore prepared innumerable cups for her. She prefers Twinings English Breakfast, which has gotten bloody expensive.
1. Boil water.
2. Put tea bag in empty cup. We have a selection, as do most civilised people:
3. Pour water over bag. Keep bag in cup.
4. Make sure to leave enough room for some milk. How much milk? Beats me. Whatever looks good. This can in fact be a slightly different amount every time.
5. Repeat as demanded.
