допотопный

[Сэм]

"Still not phone friendly?"
"Nyet."
"That doesn't mean we can't be."

[Сэм]

It’s beyond my capabilities to make the necessary alterations, and my usual tech guy is out of action indefinitely.

My go-to rationalisation is that the site isn’t best viewed on a phone anyway. Squinting at lovingly photophopped images is bad for the eyes. That, and touchscreens are the devil's handiwork: words are meant to be typed on keyboards with actual keys.



That none of this is of any consequence does not deter me from posting about it.

[Сэм]

We're now offering Titanium, Steel, and Aluminium levels of membership. Sorry carbon fibre lovers, you’re not on the periodic table.

ALUMINIUM
– Personalised experience with your username appearing near the top of the page when logged in
– The ability to like posts in your head
– Ruble for your thoughts



STEEL
Everything included with Aluminium, plus:
– Exclusive Velosolo Club events, if you so choose
– Unlimited aphorisms



TITANIUM
Everything included with Aluminium and Steel, plus:
– Virtual Certificate of Completeness more or less suitable for framing

frame not included

– We'll put you first in a very long queue for a jersey:


(Artist credit. We're not animals.)

– A date with a cosmo girl


Or guy. We can't guarantee sex.

[Сэм]

We are pleased to announce phone friendliness. Let record show has always been so.