We are a gang who like to ride strange vehicles called CHOPPERS. They are radically modified bicycles. Modified to suit our needs.

Philosophy And Creed
Most engineering goes on the axiom that form follows function. This is not the case with the bicycle chopper. We let form prevail, and make the function happen forcefully. If we tried to create efficient, easy to pilot machines the result would be a regular bike. SCUL creates bikes that are difficult to control, damaging to knees, and painful to sit upon. They are structurally unsound and easy to crash. We are test pilots of poorly designed vessels. The single advantage that choppers have over other bikes is that they are better at running over empty Burger King shake cups.

Scul Fighters are made mostly from derelict craft, transformed from civilian to military craft. Any reports of derelict craft in local systems should be reported immediately to the SCUL Department of Derelict Craft Retrieval (SDDCR). It is imperative that this information is relayed quickly, before the craft is retrieved as space junk. Derelict ships have several advantages. First, the cost of retrieving the ship is much lower than buying a used ship. Secondly, it is easier to transform a civilian craft than to build a military one from raw materials. Also it is noble to rescue these beautiful ships and use them again as protectors of peace. Lastly these ships possess special traits that are subtle yet powerful.

The SCUL pilot defends the bicycle and pedestrian population in a leisurely manner.

SCUL believes that cycling should never be discouraged. Therefore a SCUL pilot will strive not to make fun of anyone making an effort in cycling. If a SCUL pilot notices that someone is doing something incorrectly (i.e.: wearing their helmet backwards) that pilot should point it out. Laugh at them later if you must.

SCUL members are encouraged to make fun of everyone else.

Glory And Agony
It is no secret that there is a state of euphoria that accompanies a pilot during a mission. USBF has developed a formula for this state:

E = (Ship's Difficulty Rating * Number of choppers in battalion)^2

The real benefits are only obvious once the chopper ride is experienced. The disadvantages are clear however.

Riding A Chopper is Dangerous
Choppers are inherently hard to ride. They usually have very wide turning radiuses and twitchy steering. Crashing is not uncommon. SCUL takes no responsibility for damage done to body or bike.

Riding A Chopper is Illegal
Chapter 85, Section 11B of the Massachusetts Law states:
9. No bicycle shall be operated upon a way with handlebars so raised that the operator's hands are above his shoulders while gripping them. Any alteration to extend the fork of a bicycle from the original design and construction of the bicycle manufacturer is prohibited. The operator can be fined up to $20.

Riding A Chopper Attracts Attention
Granted, getting attention can be a positive element in the mission. But sometimes it attracts the wrong attention. Drunks love these bikes. They will try to tell you how they had the exact same bike when they were a kid. Sometimes the rider doesn't want attention, but is stuck with the bike anyway. Imagine riding a chopper to work, having a terrible day, then having to deal with riding the thing back home. It's a long journey for someone who is in a bad mood.

Abandon Ship: To be thrown off the bike.
Adrift: In the trash.
Airlock: Any door to a building going outside.
Android: Pet
Asteroids: Manhole covers and grates.
Asteroid Belt: A river. ex: the Charles river = the Charles Asteroid Belt.
Autopilot: Ghost riding. Involves jumping off the bike and letting it coast off on its own.

Bananarama: The sensation achieved when a pilot has been in the cockpit of a ship for an extended period of time. Also called "Chopper Crotch"
Bandit: Enemy Bicycle Pilot
Battalion: All the bicycles in the chopper ride.
Battleship: A chopper with a 26" rear wheel.
Black Box Recorder: A micro cassette recorder used to keep track of the mission.
Black Hole: Rotary. You can Orbit them, but never go inside one, for you may never come out.
Bogey: Unidentified Bicycle Pilot .
Bomber: Tandem Bicycle.
Bomber Pilot: Captain of Tandem Bicycle.
Bombardier: Stoker of Tandem.
Booster Rockets: Pedals.

CBU: Carbon based unit. A person, usually someone not in SCUL.
Clip: One dozen donuts.
Civilian: Anyone no in a chopper gang.
Civilian Ship: A normal bike.
Cockpit: Saddle or banana seat.
Colony: A party
Constellation: A Square. For example Harvard square is known as the Harvard Constellation.
Crash Landing: Mechanical Malfunction causing the ship to stop and make repairs. Most commonly a flat tire.

Deep Space: Off road. In the woods.
Deep Space Vessel: A mountain bike.
Derby: A sport invented by SCUL, whereas each participating pilot affixes a ribbon about his/her neck, and chases each other pilot about a field (sometimes restricted) in hopes of grasping another pilots ribbon. If a pilot touches ground with his/her foot, he/she is disqualified (known as "Dabbing") If a pilot's ribbon is ripped by another, he/she is disqualified. The last pilot 'alive' is the triumphant.
Derelict: Bike in the trash. Any unridable bike.
Destroyer: A chopper with a 24" rear wheel.
Docking Bay: A bike being carried while riding another bike. Usually over the shoulder.
Drop Anchor: To lock up the bike(s).

Earth Beer: Beer. Usually Black Label.
Earthling: Anyone who is not affiliated with SCUL
Earth Time: A SCUL encryption of normal time. 10:39 is written 39-10, and is spoken "three nine mark one zero".
The Empire: The law.

Fleet: All the bicycles in SCUL.
Fort: Any building that stores a chopper on a regular basis. Usually named after the planet it is on (ex: Fort Francis is on Francis Street).
Frigate: A chopper with a 20" rear wheel.
Fuel: coffee.
Fighter: Chopper bicycle.

Galaxy: A State. Used as "Galaxy MA"
Grenade: A donut. Used as "I was hit by a vanilla cream grenade".
Grey Matter Transport: A water-bound ferry, as in the Boston System to Provincetown System Grey Matter transport.
G-Well: Short for gravity well. A hill. Posi-G-Well is downhill. Negi-G-Well is Uphill.

Hanger: Any place bikes are stored.
Hamburger Helper: First aid kit.
H.A.R.V.: High Altitude Reconnaissance Vehicle. A Tallbike.
Heavy Nebula: See Nebula
Hull: Bicycle Frame.

Inertial Dampening System (IDS): Any kind of suspension.

Landing Gear: Kickstand
Lasers: Lights.
Light Transport: Cruiser bicycle.
Light Year: One mile.
Long Range Scout, or LaRS: Road Bike.
Luna: Commercial or Industrial building. Star Market is known as Luna Star Market.

Mast: Seatpost. Banana seats require a main mast and two secondary masts, starboard and port (the sissy bar)
Meteorites: Broken glass in the road.
Mission: A ride.
Moon: See LUNA.

Navigational Thrusters: Front tire.
Nebula: Fog. Also Heavy Nebula - a body of water that is not a river or stream (See Asteroid Belt), such as The Michigan Nebula (Lake Michigan)
Negi: (slang) 1. Negative. Used as "Negi that." meaning "That's incorrect". Also used in Negi-G-Well, uphill. 2. Broken, as in "Chainsaw bike is negi", or "My primary thruster went negi on me".

Oxygen Tanks: Inner tubes
O.R.K.: Oxygen tank Repair Kit. A Patch Kit for inner tubes.
Photons, Photon Torpedoes: Spit.
Pilot: 1) Anyone who rides a chopper. 2) The person in front on a tandem chopper.
Planet: Any road. Used as "I was on planet Commonwealth in the Allston System".
Planetary Buoy: Road Cone, or Road Barrel. Often fluorescent orange.
Posi: (slang) 1) Affirmative. Used as "Posi that." meaning "That's correct", or "Lemme get a posi on that" meaning, "Let me make sure of that." Also used in . Posi-G-Well, Downhill. 2) Cool, as in "That scab on your arm is so posi!".
Primary Thrusters: Rear tire or wheel.
Propulsion Unit: Drive train of a bicycle.

Radiation: Precipitation. Rain, Snow, sleet, etc.
Refueling Station: A coffee shop.
Retro Rockets, or Retros: Coaster brakes.
Rogue: Any Chopper that is not affiliated with SCUL or other chopper organization.

Shields: A helmet.
Short Range Scan: Looking around.
Space Dock: Any area devoted to the repair of bikes.
Space Dust: Sand or gravel in the road.
Space Junk: Any obstacle in the road.
Space Raceway: A parking Lot. Used for zipping around in. Used as in "7-11 Space Raceway"
Space Station: A home. Used as "Space Station Smith"
Spacesuit: Clothes.
Space Walk: Walking. If a hill is particularly steep and the thrust rating is particularly poor, space walking may be pushing the ship for a while.
ST: Police. Short for Stormtrooper.
Stabilizers: Handlebars
Star Map: Road Map
Star System: See System
Station: Where someone lived. As in "I'm stationed at Fort Francis".
Subspace: Electronic Transmissions. Phone, Fax, E-mail, or CB radio.
System: A town or city. Used as "Now entering the Watertown System.

Tie Fighter: Police bicycle
Tie Transport: Police Car
Transport: A car or truck.

Universe: A country. Used as "The France Universe"

Warp: Miles per hour. warp 9 is 9mph
Weigh Anchor: To unlock the bike(s).
Wing: A sub-unit of SCUL. Each person who builds ships have their own division, which has a three letter designation.
Wingnut: Same as a Bandit, but adorning corporate logos on his/her spandex clothing.

© SCUL

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